The Forums › Forums › Tools, Techniques & Treatments › both partners have ADD…(woman posting this)
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March 12, 2011 at 10:16 am #89285
AnonymousInactiveMarch 12, 2011 at 10:16 amPost count: 14413I JUST saw the PBS special… I took the quiz… I “Laughed Out Loud” while taking it… I seriously don’t need to pay anyone to “professionally” tell me I have this… I certainly do… but I’m wondering can it work when your significant other/BF/husband has this too?
My BF ABSOLUTELY has this… he’s that guy that loses his keys and wallet and cell phone ever 5 mins and screams and carries on about it too…) it all makes sense why the house is a mess! We are both cluttered and scattered!
To jump start getting myself (and “us”) in order, I just found a copy of “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!” on Ebay that I snapped up.
I figured I would jump in and post my immediate question… we seem to be good together… or horrible… the more we’re around each other the more “in tune” we are… which can be bad OR good… I’m wondering too if any of you have a recommended book or stories or something… I figured get the first book and me and him can read it together for starters…
REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm #101917Welcome aboard! The crazy train that is. I have been officially diagnosed. My husband, while he’s coming around, still refuses to be evaluated. My youngest daughter has been treated for years for it(hyperactive subtype) and my oldest daughter, while coping well, is starting to show all of the inattentive symptoms. Every day here is a crap-shoot of what we’re going to get. We are all very intelligent, funny, talented in our own areas, etc. But on a bad day……?
That said, things are getting better and better with knowledge and alot of patience. The book you bought is fantastic! A bible, if you will. Another one I would recommend is Gina Pera’s “Is it You, Me, or Adult ADD?” The reason for this, is that everyone needs to see how we affect the others in our lives. It’s been easy for me to see how my husband’s scatteredness has affected me, but since my issues are different, it was enlightening to see it in print how I was affecting him.
As for your question? Of course it can work if both have ADD. As long as BOTH parties acknowledge, accept and actively work at communication and taking responsibility of their own symptoms. This is not as easy as it sounds, but it certainly is attainable if both want it.
Good luck in your quest for knowledge. You have certainly made an impressive first step by coming here. There is alot to learn and you’ll find it here. (just had to try out the emoticons)
REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2011 at 6:36 pm #101918
AnonymousInactiveMarch 12, 2011 at 6:36 pmPost count: 14413Thanks for your reply! We just talked about this, our ADD and all… I thought he was teasing me for the past couple of years… ” Ohh it’s your ADD” etc… I didn’t think he was being serious or that I really have ADD. In my head “ADD” was some kid that was bouncing off the walls running around etc… not just “fidgety and talking entirely too much”! The talking too much in their quiz really hit home… that’s both of us big time!
It’ so funny you said “crazy train” my mom says that ALL THE TIME about me… and the whirlwind of panic I’m in… and cause to happen!
I think I’m going to go to B&N and check out the relationship book… I might IMPULSIVELY buy it!!
I took the quiz here and I got everything “right” so to speak… I will have bursts of what I call “cat energy” and I will do nothing, nothing, nothing… then run around the house cleaning for several hours straight. I procrastinate way too much… hopefully poking around here and the books will help me get this figured out.
REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2011 at 8:13 pm #101919Ondine-ya the talking thing is a big one for me, not hubby, though. My kids know that if I’m talking to someone and say, just give me 5 minutes, it means 20 maybe 30!
Before diagnosis and meds, I was in a constant state of panic over pretty much everything and anything. If my life wasn’t in chaos, things didnt feel right. It’s taken some months and my life will always be “in progress”, but I do feel things have gotten much better.
The knowledge you acquire will be extremely helpful for you and your family, even if they get tired of your hyperfocussing on it. (Of course, I’m only assuming that will happen to you because it definitely happened here!) In the long run, I think, they are glad to have “Wiki-mom” available to say, “ya, someone on the forum had that happen and this is what they did.” or “taking your concerta with OJ can sometimes counteract the stimulant effect.” or “your keys are probably in the fridge where you left them.”
Sorry, tangent! 😳
Just remember to keep that sense of humour that’s oozing from your posts (I use oozing in the absolute best sense of the word!). I love your cat analogy! I’m doing that right now and looking at the clock. In 27 seconds I will have to dash to get changed for work and then run out the door and get there (hopefully) in time. With some luck, I wont forget anything important along the way!
Keep posting how things are going! I’ll be around if you have anything you want to ask me.
Cherri
REPORT ABUSEMarch 12, 2011 at 10:42 pm #101920
AnonymousInactiveMarch 12, 2011 at 10:42 pmPost count: 14413I loved that! oozing!! I started reading your post then my mom called then I went on facebook then I remembered!
I thought everyone was “like this” meaning… I sort of freak out that I’m “forgetting stuff” all the time! The last time we went to a concert I all but tied the tickets around my neck! or something!! I thought this was all normal! Yet… it’s funny hearing someone else sayt these things out loud so to speak!
I am totally a cat (but usually a mermaid lol) cat energy is “IT” I’m about to run around this house and clean it… facebook is a real problem though! I need to stop being on there so much it is a major procrastination device! I play the stupid game son there…
I have heard too many bad things about ritalin… but do you feel that medications are working for you… I’m worried about side effects mainly. Overall I’m scared to take medications… I took Zoloft then Prozac when I was 13-15 and it totally messed up my sleeping patterns… I am more in the trying to start eating better area at the moment and seeing how that helps… I don’t have insurance at the moment either so going to a doctor is not going to happen. I’m beginning to think that the “you are what you eat” thing is true… I need to change my bad habits.
I’ll keep checking back too… I loved the question… “how many tabs do you have open right now?!” LOL guilty as charged is right! only 8 RIGHT now…
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