Broke, no education, stuck, what the heck should I do?

[adventroverted]

I’m 35 now, and though I was diagnosed in my early 20’s I never did anything about it until now.  Now I’ve come to realize how much ADD has affected my life in such negative ways. I tried going back to school several times for so many things and never finished. Most times I never made it through one class.  I’ve driven myself into the ground financially, having claimed bankruptcy only to drive up debt and negative points again. Now, I’m finally starting to make real efforts to improve my credit and my life.

Medication (adderall) is starting to work but I’ve only been taking it for 3 weeks and I’m sure I’ll have to find another medication. Now that I’ve experienced such a difference I’m having a hard time getting over having gone so long making so many mistakes. Not only that but I’m still stuck in life like I have been for forever. I’m smart, I’m a good artist and writer, but I can’t seem to get out of customer service since it’s the only thing I have “real” experience in.

I work in the office of a retail store and only make $12 an hour (which is NOT enough for an adult with bills to live on, and appalling). I have no desire to move into management where I’ll be forced to more of a shiny, happy, woman like all women in retail are expected to be, not to mention I HATE retail. There’s more to it, but point being, I need a career change, bad. I also really hate living in Phoenix.

It’s a lot more involved but I’ll spare you the novel. I need a new career, that I actually like enough to want to go every day, that pays decently. I don’t need to be rich, 40k a year would be great. I’ve been looking for other jobs like crazy but everyone wants a degree. Everyone tells me degrees are useless now, but all jobs require one (which is ridiculous when they could just train someone, but I digress). So what gives?

It doesn’t seem like I’ll get ahead if I don’t go back to school, but then again school takes soooooooo looong. I’ll be in the same damn boat for another 3 or so years if I do go back to school. Provided I can actually finish it. Working full time and going to school full time is overwhelming, and expensive. It seems like you have to make money to make money now. It’s infuriating.

Is it worth it to go back to school? I know I don’t have to go to school to be successful. Or so everyone tells me. I have no desire to make a career out of being an artist. I just don’t know what to do. I know I have serious issues with time and keeping up with things, I’m trying to work on it. But I don’t want to be stuck where I am for the rest of my life. It stresses me out every day.

 

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[morrisfluffytail]

Wow! Our situations are very similar, except I’m 45 and was diagnosed 2 or 3 years ago. I am still working as a cashier part time, but I’ve gone back to school. There is a little voice inside my head telling me that it is silly, I’ll be 47 before I graduate, but I tell tbe voice to shut up. I’m going to be 47 anyway, do I want to be 47 with the same job or 47 with a degree and a chance at sonething better? I’m doing my education online. I can work at my own pace and it is going well. I am 16 weeks behind schedule, but they know I have ADHD and they’re not giving me too much of a hard time about it. I would suggest going to an employment centre and asking about career counselling. They can give you personality tests, aptitude tests, and give you the confidence that the career you choose will be one where you can shine. I’m not on medication by the way. Concerta had no effect and my doctor is not keen on anything else, so I’m relying on webinars and such for tips on how to get my brain functioning.

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[blackdog]

@adventroverted

Wow, your story is so much like my own I could have written it myself.

I was first diagnosed when I was 30. The psych who diagnosed me with “an attention deficit with elements of depression” threw some Welbutrin at me and said it should take care of both. And that was that.

After meeting someone else online who has ADHD and depression, and finding Totally ADD, I arranged an assessment and was diagnosed officially at the age of 40. Once again, it was sort of a “here, take these pills” and send me on my way kind of thing. So, I’m not really any better, I just know why I am the way I am now. And I have some pills that make me feel a little better, sometimes, on a good day.

I have to give you credit for being a fighter and not giving up. I only tried college once. I always meant to go back but I was afraid of putting myself in debt again, failing again, and ending up in an even worse situation.

My two cents:

 

You’re right that working full time and going to school full time is too much. So, don’t do it that way. A good option might be what morrisfluffytail is doing, taking courses online, at your own pace.

And make sure that the college knows you have ADHD. Check into what their policies for special needs students are, what kind of accommodations you can get, like extended deadlines, for example.

The personality/career interest tests could help you to narrow down the possibilities, and the employment centre may be able to tell you how good your chances are of finding work in different fields, and where the best opportunities are. There may be shortages of certain types of workers in some areas, which would make it easier for you to get in.

So basically, what @morrisfluffytail said, only with more words because I just don’t know how to keep it short and sweet.

You might also want to look into what kind of government assistance is available. There may be grants or scholarships that you could qualify for. Or maybe an apprenticeship program would work for you. And if you see something that you really want to do, but you don’t have all the qualifications, try contacting the employer anyway. You never know, they might like you enough to hire you without all the requirements they list in their ad.

All this is pretty much the avice I have been given over the years, which I never actually used. Maybe you will be able to put it to better use and get yourself un-stuck and on your way to a better life. Good luck. 🙂

 

 

 

 

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[blackdog]

Oh, one thing I forgot:

I don’t know why it is that you are sure you will need more medication, but give the Adderall time to work first. Three weeks is not long enough to know for sure how it is going to affect you. And your dosage may need to be adjusted too.

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[blackdog]

@morrisfluffytail

Love your name. 🙂

Great advice. Especially the part about how you are going to be 47 in two years anyway. I need to start thinking like that.

Just a quick note, if I can manage to be quick, regarding medication.

If you can get away without taking it, then by all means do so. You are better off that way.

But these doctors that will only try one medication and refuse to consider other options really irk me. If you feel like you need medication, and the Concerta doesn’t work, then you should try something else.

Mine is the same way. According to him, Vyvanse is “the best” and “there is nothing better”, so I’m stuck shelling out over $200 a month for a medication that is really not doing anything for me. He refuses to consider any other options, and when I suggested dropping the  Vyvanse and just taking Dexedrine, he insisted that I still need the Vyvanse, which means that if I refuse to take it, he’ll probably cut off my Dex too, which is the only thing I’ve got that sort of helps.

Okay, that concludes today’s mini-rant.

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[blackdog]

@morrisfluffytail

Love your name. 🙂

Great advice. Especially the part about how you are going to be 47 in two years anyway. I need to start thinking like that.

Just a quick note, if I can manage to be quick, regarding medication.

If you can get away without taking it, then by all means do so. You are better off that way.

But these doctors that will only try one medication and refuse to consider other options really irk me. If you feel like you need medication, and the Concerta doesn’t work, then you should try something else.

Mine is the same way. According to him, Vyvanse is “the best” and “there is nothing better”, so I’m stuck shelling out over $200 a month for a medication that is really not doing anything for me. He refuses to consider any other options, and when I suggested dropping the  Vyvanse and just taking Dexedrine, he insisted that I still need the Vyvanse, which means that if I refuse to take it, he’ll probably cut off my Dex too, which is the only thing I’ve got that sort of helps.

Okay, that concludes today’s mini-rant.

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[donsense]

What did work for me when at the age of Sixteen on my b/d actually I was tossed from High school for not completing assignments in most subjects Unless I was kept in detention noneof my work was ever finished at home. Work was not impossible to get then and I was able to turn my third job, you guessed it in Retail into a permanent position. Desperately wanting a car I bought a shiny new red cool wheels using my older sisters credit and letting her drive it whenever. Trouble was car gas and oh yeah Room n board at home took the lions share of my income My dad was very pro education hard one rule Go to school or pay board. He was not remotely concerned whether I worked or not. The only way to get out of paying up was to weasel my way back into school.
But I wanted money and unlike my older Brothers I had no plans to do school all day and work from 430 to midnight. My oldest brother had solved the problem by Joining the navy and taking engineering on their dime. And I did ta similar but trades training in Accounting and Inventory. It worked Except I still needed that HS Certificate.
I was lucky enough to almost get it ( still missing one credit) but most importantly I gained the confidence and self discipline to negotiate some but not all of our bumpy spots. Like you I just could not finish much, at home and still can’t. I was also lucky that the armed forces gave me a trade that I parlayed into a career. I found out I was very good at a couple of things and used those to establish my career initially in finance and then into consulting. There I had the freedom to be measured by results not the time I arrived every morning ( no I never solved that one) I am still useless at working from home so I stay in the office and work late and have a leisurely drive home. On one occasion my employer decided that everyone had to do all their own clerical and filing, detail work that I am horrendous at and quite vocal at sharing my thoughts on. The AF training made me capable of doing it but my instincts as I was not yet diagnosed told me to find a new job. Luckily although I didn’t know it I was held in high regard within the Company and Interviewed for 4 different positions. I kept worrying about the lack of A degree as everyone who worked there had one. I Applied for a job with another Competitor, Deciding in the end to stay with my employer in a new eastern city and with with an assistant. I returned to home a year later and accepted a position with a new employer and within 6 years became a Vice President of one of the worlds largest Actuarial,Consulting Human Resource and Insurance Brokerages . 10 years later ?.. Founded a Partnership then my own and organized the backup skills I so desperately needed.
One. my assistant ( who really ran me ) was responsible for getting me to meetings on time with all necessary notes and tools, and for maintaining a highly organized system for our office.
Two. All detail work was his and or her responsibility.
My skills were in creative client solutions, auditing, editing, networking, new business and report writing, standard setting and ironically maintaining Education Standards.
The skills and education and confidence I gained in the AF but mostly the self discipline and Knowledge of those limited skills were the most helpful. It was decades before I accepted that the absence of a degree in an industry where everyone of consequence was a BComm Honors,
CA, or Actuary was not limiting. A mid six figure salary for this HS Dropout and Late as in really late age 70 ADD diagnosis is not the end of the Career world .
In fact it has financed my three divorces but is of no help in Retirement. New adaptive skills desperately needed or I will be kicked out of the three choral groups I sing with. Not to mention House cleaning and Over committing are huge problems for me Rising at a decent time of the day …don’t ask. The one problem though I have never solved is going out the door without attempting one more chore or taking all that time finding my shoes my wallet my cell and most of all my Keys and then running back for my music… I still here echoes of (if only he would ….) I am just starting concerta Wish me luck.

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