Can I get help/diagnosed without my parents?

[kc5jck]

A couple of thing I didn’t notice in the above suggestions.

1. The net and this site are good sources of information. But, you might see about a book such as “Delivered from Distraction” Learning about ADHD and recognizing what symptoms and behaviors you have will help you to develop skills for dealing with your particular set of problems. Now that I am able to recognize some of my ADHD behaviors I can begin to deal with them.

2. You could call your GP’s office and ask if they have any information you could have about ADHD. This would give you a good lead in to discussing your problem (mom and all) with a receptionist, nurse, or perhaps even the GP to find out what your options are. They may even offer to talk with your mom. If they are any good, they will want to help. (If you have friends with ADHD, you might ask which doctor they use. Not all doctors are knowledgable with regards to ADHD.)

3. Russel Barkley in one of his videos talks about the dangers of ADHD and driving. You may be able to leverage your position using this safety issue, since you are, or will soon be, driving.

4. You can lay the old “you don’t want me to suffer the same setbacks and difficulties you had growing up” guilt trip on dear old mom. Followed by the “you want me to suffer!” guilt trip. (Last resort)

5. (Omitted as it is a worse idea than #4.)

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[Anonymous]

Chrissybee and others,

It sounds like mom has a basic mistrust of stimulant drugs, specifically Ritalin because of “what it did to your brother”. I’ve heard this before around things like chemotherapy and even non-medical things like seatbelts. “Look what happened to poor ol’ Harv when he wore HIS seatbelt! If he hadn’t of had it on that day, he’d still be here today. (sniff)”. Sorry for poking fun, but people have a tendency to attach a former negative experience to the outcome of the current situation. It can be really hard to change someone’s perception, esp if they don’t trust, in Chrissybee’s situation, the medical systerm as a whole. I don’t know if that’s a factor in this case.

My husband felt much the same about Ritalin when I first considered medication for ADHD. He thought that Ritalin was the thing that had started his brother down the road of addiction. He started taking it about 45 years ago, liked the feeling it gave him, and within a few years was finding ways to get more. (use your imagination here) So in that respect it probably did contribute, but there was a whole lot more going on that contributed than the prescribed amount of Ritalin.

So, how to convince mom that there are lots of other medications, maybe brother was prescribed the wrong dose …

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[ashockley55]

Good point, Bellamom!

If Chrissybee’s mom is worried that the medications will be bad for her daughter, well then….mothers tend to be like mama bears when it comes to protecting their children, from what I hear.

So that could be a BIG issue. I hadn’t thought of that.

Thanks, Bellamom.

Yay! I’m so glad we’re smart here.

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[Anonymous]

Hey guys. Not much new has occurred, except a conversation with my Dad. I don’t know why I even tried to talk to him about my feelings and how much I’m suffering besides my great efforts I’ve tried to explain. He basically reiterated over and over that I’m just not taking the right supplements and his magical fruit juice, natural pills, and good ol’ acidophilus enzymes will cure me (when taken with consistency and the right vitamins will accumulate?). The real kicker here is that I’ve done, and am doing everything but he seems to not think I’m doing them with enough consistency… But being OCD I am very consistent (but it’s annoying because I often get distracted). So now I’m just even more upset. I don’t like feeling that my problems aren’t real enough or I’m not doing enough or praying enough. This is so ridiculous. I’m becoming really depressed.

It really all makes sense to me now, looking back on it. The procrastination and copying other students homework. When I was younger I used to do this all the time and didn’t know why I could never get stuff done. I started checking my backpack and doors and lots of other things to try to control what was inside my head, to no avail. I didn’t exactly have the best exercise schedule, but the hyper activity doesn’t really affect me that much even though I have some signs and tendencies of it. I’m absolutely discouraged.

I’ve tried these things:

weird natural fruit juice (2+ years)

fish oil capsules (off and on for 2+ years, started taking it regularly again)

vitamins (my entire life, basically)

cutting out sugar (about 6 months now which has done nothing because I mostly eat natural anyways)

protein powder (includes tyrosine which is supposed to help ADD, for about 4 months or longer)

there’s more things too but I’m done trying to say that basically nothing makes a difference.

The only thing that seems to help is Caffeine and hmm I wonder why… Could it be *gasp* a stimulant?!?!

My dad then said I could take his super dee duper caffeine but I all ready do… So… I’m screwed for life because I’m not getting the same helping effect of caffeine anymore all I get are headaches if I don’t have any as well ow.

My thoughts are like when you can’t get the cable to turn on and they’re just noisy and static, then I can’t remember what the heck I was thinking or trying to do I hate this SO MUCH.

I’m going to go cry now. See ya.

My brother took Concerta apparently, I found a prescription bottle in the drawer when I was looking for a hair brush (empty, I’m not going to try anything don’t worry) from when he used to live here… just a side note.

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[Scattybird]

Hi Chrissybee –

You need to make an appointment with your doctor and if possible download this thread – especially your last post and take it with you. Let him/her read it and that will help you explain clearly once you’re face to face.

If you can’t see your familly doctor go into the practice and ask if there are local support groups for adolescents with problems like yours. If so, try to get along to a meeting. Talking to others in the same boat can be helpful.

Even if you do get help from your doctor it is likely that a diagnosis will take some time. Therefore you need to start adopting some strategies to help you cope. These are strategies we all have to do in order to cope – whether we have medication or not.

So consider where you need to help yourself most – e.g. If it’s with focus and getting things done then try to make adjustments to help you with that.

Use alarms to refocus your attention. Use notes to remind you what you’re meant to be doing. Break you homework down into chunks and and spend short spells at a time doing a chunk. It will seem less daunting. There are a host of coping strategies but just go for things that will help now. You can build others into your life once you have mastered these.

I guess you’ll read this and ask if I have been listening to you! Yes -I have and my heart goes out to you. But even if you get a diagnosis and a name for your ADD, you will still have to learn to deal with it. Even if medicated, all that does is enable you to perform these strategies a bit easier. Even with medication we need to ‘do’ stuff to help ourselves so if/when we can’t take the medication then we have strategies in place that help.

Please speak to someone about this – a local support group might be available? If not, have you thought about a minister in a local Church? You don’t need to be a Church-goer – they have lots of experience and at least you’d be confiding in an adult who might be able to help.

Don’t let yourself get too depressed about this. It will get sorted but sometimes things take longer than they should. Just try to be mindful and be aware in the moment.

I know – you feel like screaming at everyone NOW. But try to play the game and you’ll win it.

One last thing that you might have noticed is your ADD and OCD might be worse at some times than others. Look for a pattern because sometime symptoms worsen in women at certain times of the month. If that is the case then predict when you’re going to be less able to focus and make an effort to just drift on those days, be nice to yourself and be prepared to make the most of the other days. This may not affect you, but it’s rarely mentioned but can be just something else in the mix that we have to deal with.

Read as many posts on this site as you can – it will help.

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[ashockley55]

I’d like to just second what Scattybird just said – print out what you’ve said here and take it to your doctor or friend’s parent or any adult who you think might have an interest in helping you.

You deserve to be heard, and you deserve some help.

I’m sorry that you feel so stuck. I’m concerned about how depressed you’ve become. Please know that things will work out. I know you are incredibly frustrated, and it seems like you can’t find any help, but it will happen.

Just hang in here, okay?

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[Anonymous]

Thanks you guys! I have been trying to implement new strategies and often times people find it hard to believe I have these problems because I *seem* rather efficient (lists, being organized, getting okay grades, becoming hyperfocused on certain tasks). I even got an OCD help book, anxiety tapes(I really only think any remnants of anxiety I have are from ADD haha), and another psychology book!

My friend who has ADD used to be the girl failing and falling through the cracks, but now that she has been medicated she is always the one I ask for help with assignments now. I feel like it would help me too because we literally are the exact same personality and do the exact same things, have the same problems, etc. I have zero patience for things I have to do, or even want to do, like art. I can’t even get myself to start a project. I’m pretty much just living my life being super unproductive, at least it’s almost Summer!

Which reminds me, that was why I was on such a tangent to get help then possibly find a medication that works well for me in the first place! You see next year I’m going to try going to a regular high school again because I need more structure than in just plain classes/independent study. I can’t do things by myself ha. So that’s why I really really really wanted to figure all of this out before then!

And I’m trying to think about everyone’s suggestions at the same time… Hmm, I don’t really see a pattern because my days are usually the same. I usually just come home and say I should start my homework now (study now, talk a walk now, draw now), then suddenly I’ll be taking my dog outside then I’ll decide to climb a tree, or pick flowers, or watch a movie, or text someone, or bake something. I never really make sense. It’s affected my personal life A LOT. Once I was at the mall with about 10 other kids I knew and I was trying to pay attention to what people were talking about and I had NO CLUE. NONE. It was seriously so embarrassing and the one guy sitting across from me was looking at me like he felt sorry for me or something… It was just, sad. One of my friends told me I was the most random girl she knew, but it was supposed to be a compliment. I would much rather be the friend people could talk to about anything, or the one that will always be there but that’s just not me I guess. My parents will even tell me stuff all the time and I’ll be trying SO HARD to pay attention but I end up going, “I’m sorry, I have absolutely no clue what you just said, sorry” and it’s not that they’re telling me to do chores or anything, a lot of times it will just be in normal conversations…

thanks for the suggestions everybody but I still kind of feel like I’ve done them or am doing them

welp.welpity.welp.

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