Can't make up my mind

[Tanji]

I have been Diagnosed ADD and have also been on antidepressants for 16 years.  I seem to keep on making the same relationship mistakes over and over.  I am aware that I am doing it but don’t seem to be able to stop.  My feelings are all over the map in an “I love you/Hate you” flux on a daily basis.  Has anyone else had a super hard time controlling their emotions in relationship? Is it best to just logically look at things and not let my feelings control me? Or am I just having a temper tantrum when I don’t get what I want?

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[blackdog]

Hi Tanji 🙂

No, it is definitely not just you.

Problems with emotional regulation are a part of ADHD. And depression can also cause you to be more irritable have mood swings.

You may also be having “temper tantrums”. I know I do. It’s fairly normal for most people to be a little pouty when they don’t get what they want. And  ADHD does makes us a little immature at times.

I don’t know if looking at it logically is the answer or not. It’s easier said than done. When I was growing up i wanted to be a Vulcan and tried very hard to emulate my hero Mr. Spock. I never managed to do it. But what you can do is learn to recognize when you are overreacting or maybe lashing out in anger because something is bothering you, not because of what the other person did/said.

I have started to identify some of my emotional triggers and try to calm myself  when it happens. One of the things that sets me off is being interrupted when I am concentrating on something that I really want to do, or that is really hard to do. Another one is being reminded of something that needs to be done when I know it needs to be done and I just haven’t got to it yet. Sometimes it’s just because I am frustrated or stressed about something else.

Its also important for your partner to understand and be patient.

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[kc5jck]

i wanted to be a Vulcan and tried very hard to emulate my hero Mr. Spock

I can relate and believe I have managed to do so to a fair degree.  I think that there is also a bit of genetic disposition which has helped.

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[wanderquest]

Man, I relate (or try to relate) to Spock so much.

What many people don’t realize (or remember) about Vulcans is that the reason they are ruled by logic is because they ARE so terribly emotional. They feel emotions so strongly that the only logical solution is to smash them all down internally.

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[blackdog]

Fascinating.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFods1KSWsQ

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