Confused… Loss of Motivation

[kc5jck]

Oh, about that list I posted earlier, just for the record:

1. I haven’t started any new projects in the four days since I posted the list .  .  .  at least none that I can remember.

2. Haven’t made out a schedule yet.  It’s probably not too likely that I will.  Actually . . . what was the question?

3. Now this one, putting things back in a timely manner, I’m having about a 50% success rate.

4. Recognizing ADHD behaviors, maybe about 30% on this one.

5. 0%

6. 0

7. 0

You guys didn’t think I had that much on the ball, did you?

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[dithl]

Whew! You had me worried 😉

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[blackdog]

Uh….What were 5, 6 and 7? I forget…

You had me thinking wow, I need to try some different meds, if  they make it possible to do all that!

I actually was inspiered by this thread last night and finally cleaned off my white boards. One hadn’t been changed since I don’t know when, still had an old work schedule on it. The other one I started at the beginning of September and had just been adding to the list, scribbling new things in wherever there was a blank space.

So, I have them cleaned off now and started some new lists, using a new system. Hopefully this one will work better. And I started making checklists for each thing, breaking it all down. I had to stop after the first few because I was starting to feel fried. I have to make the checklists for my creative projects today, then get started. I’m hoping to sort of alternate the mundane with the creative to keep myself motivated longer. And not forget any of the Very Important Things because I’m too busy turning bedsheeets into ghosts. Or forget to turn the bedsheets into ghosts because I am too stressed about the V.I.T.

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[munchkin]

Very pertinent thread for me! Haha.

I suffer from depression on top of ADD, so I can be going along pretty well, using some of KC’s ideas, taking my meds, putting in that 110% it takes to just keep my head above water, and then bam. Some small setback will trigger depression, and I will go completely into watching the entire Star Trek series on DVD syndrome (as described above) and neglecting everything else.

I don’t even realize it’s happened until my mail starts coming in red envelopes and the landlord’s hung a note on my door asking about the rent!

This time, I scheduled time in to work on chores, and had several friends that I am sending pictures of my progress to. (As suggested by a coach) For some reason, it seems to be helping.

For me, I don’t know if changing my meds would make a difference. The most important thing is catching myself when I’ve strayed from a healthy routine, and putting things right as quickly as possible.

Once I’m actually committed to getting something done, the meds help me follow through. If I’m completely apathetic, I think they just help me focus better on Star Trek episodes – Lol!

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[blackdog]

LOL @munchkin Me too!

I also have depression and things can get out of control very quickly without me realizing it. Two years ago things had been bad for awhile I guess, I’m not really sure. But I remember Halloween day came and I hadn’t put up any decorations. I finally started carving the pumpkin late in the afternoon. Husband grabbed the decorations and put a few out, which was a clear sign something was wrong, because I never let anyone do that. I’m very particular about how it’s done.

My uncle died the next day and that was what really sent me into a tailspin. I don’t remember much after that until Christmas. I came home from work one day and Husband had left a box of decorations sitting on the couch in my spot. I shoved it off onto the floor and plunked myself down as usual. The next day he brought out another box, dropped it in my lap, scowled at me, and walked away. I sat there staring at it for a few seconds then thought “how much time is left before Christmas?” The answer was  3 days.

I called my doctor in January and started meds again. Just before my dad died. But that’s another story…

The fact that I am still pretty much in a state of chaos all the time with the depression being treated is the best indicator that I also need something for the ADD. I am trying desperately to get some kind of strategy going but it just isn’t working. I feel more disorganized than ever.

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[ProshopperLinda]

I feel like I’ve found my place…between depression and ADHD I fit right in. I’ve always been unorganized but we moved in 9 years ago and we still have plenty of unpacked boxes in the house. It’s not a home – it’s a storage space.

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[jojosephine]

I have been away for a while.  I was actually “pulling the trigger” on a couple of unfinished projects. The medication has definitely assisted. I, also, had to put a few strategies in place too. The biggest one was not coming here or do anything on my computer that wasn’t work related. The one was a video animation project for a client. I had run out of excuses and they gave me a firm deadline. That definitely got the ball rolling.

Another project that I decided to make was an 8′ wide, 6′ tall, 1′ deep piece of furniture that runs along the wall by the front door. It is divided in 4 sections (each 2′ wide-one for each of the family members). With a cubby at the bottom for shoes/boots, the middle cubby has hooks for coats, jackets, and a top cubby for hats, mitts, etc.  I sketched it out in my sketch book with proper measurements, I made my list of supplies and when to the hardware store and bought the supplies. I started building it and realized it was more work than I had initially thought (like always). I didn’t tell my husband because I thought he was going to shoot my idea down, and reject the notion of it. I had the frame done (I was building it in the garage). I wanted to have the complete project done by the weekend (I started it on the Tuesday), so that he could see how great the finished product was. Friday came and the frame sat in the garage. I had to show him because he would see it for sure over the weekend. And of course I got the reaction I had expected. He was pointing out the flaws. Telling me “shouldn’t I be spending my time doing more important things, blah, blah,”. I was so hurt. It sat there untouched for 2 weeks.

My motivation: to finish this project and show him how great it is. So I did it and it is great. and my husband has no problem enjoying his cubbies. My kids love it. The have their own sections and it really helps with the organization at the front door. There is no heaping pile of shoes to trip over and you don’t get buried by an avalanche when you open the closet. I still have not received a complement from him. I really wish I could post a picture of it (starting with my sketch in the concept stage).

Getting these 2 projects accomplished has propelled me to finish more and it feels so good.

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[blackdog]

@ProshopperLinda – You have indeed come to the right place. Welcome. 🙂

I got the same feeling when I first came here. I was only part way through one thread when I started to laugh.  Any one of the comments could have been about me.

@jojosephine – Welcome back. Glad to hear the medication has been helping you. 🙂

I made the same decision yesterday- that I was going to stop going to forums and playing games so I could get going on things that need to be done. As you can see, it’s working well so far. LOL 😉

I do the the same thing with hiding my projects to avoid the criticism. And it would be nice to be complimented once in awhile wouldn’t it?

So congratulations on a job well done. I can’t believe you got something that big finished so quickly. It certainly would have taken me much longer. You should be proud of yourself. And your family is lucky to have you. 🙂

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[dithl]

@jojosephine Ha! Stealth projects…sounds familiar…easier to fail quietly and bury the evidence than in front of an audience, no? Glad you stuck through …post your pics as your avatar over a few days?

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[jojosephine]

@blackdog Well thank you. I did stall on the project for a couple of weeks. I had to get it done so we could get it in and mounted on the wall because if I ever left the garage open and one of the kids decided to play on it, it could have tipped over and it would have seriously hurt them. I had some strong things motivating me. (and to show my husband). I started this project before I had started my medication. It sat in the garage for the couple of weeks that I had started my medication. Then I was able to complete it when I on the medication.

@dithl Thanks for the tip. I really hadn’t thought of using my avatar. So here it is.

I have also begun to clean my house. (and I don’t mean organize the mess and chaos-that’s another story). I mean the dirt and the grime. I moved into my house 8 years ago (a few years before I had met my husband-and no children). I had never cleaned my house ever (except vacuuming-not often, toilets-not often, the tub once and a while).

I mean I am really starting to notice just how filthy my house really is. You can barely see out the windows. The walls are unbelievable (the doors, baseboards, light switches, door handles. And the dust. no wonder I have been having sinus issues. LOL I think my kids are pretty healthy because the have built up strong immune systems from living in this bacterial cesspool. There is so much dust on the floor behind furniture. Can a blanket of dust on top of a power bar start a fire?  What I don’t understand is how I couldn’t see how bad this was. Almost like I had avoided seeing it how it really was. I think about the people that i had here over the years. I am absolutely mortified. I mean I had to use a non-scratch scouring pad on my windows yesterday. I go to clean something and I take notice of something else. It is really starting to feel great that I am chipping away at the grunge. I would have zero motivation to do this (or even notice how terrible my house had gotten) if it weren’t for the meds.

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[wanderquest]

Guys, I have a confession. As hard as I’ve been trying to not start a new project, I caved last night. I’ve really really really been wanting to redo my pantry with lazy susan turn tables in the corners. But I want to repaint it too, and in order to do that I needed to make sure the paint scheme I had envisioned for the front room was going to work with my new vision for the kitchen so of course I had to do some test patches…so now there are 8 rooms with partial paint. But I’m going to finish this one  I swear 🙂 My husband has kinda learned to roll with the painting punches. Good thing he’s colorblind.

@jojosephine Good for you on your cubby project. I did something like that for our closet so we’d have divided laundry with a place to sit down to put on shoes. Hubs was nonplussed when I started, but he sure doesn’t mind using it now that it’s finished. Well, not painted yet or anything, but it’s sturdy!

And after I get the pantry done, I’m going to construct a cabinet for my shoes that has a giant mirror on the front that opens up to reveal them.

So, ADD with some basic carpentry skills=trouble. ha ha

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[blackdog]

@jojosephine Wow, that is big. I just went back a read your description again.  I kind of read it wrong before I guess and I was picturing something much smaller. I can’t really visualize things from written measurements and I missed the part where it said there is a middle section for hanging coats.

Thank you for posting about the dirt and grime in your house. It makes me feel so much better. 🙂

I am sure my house is worse than yours. I usually only say that it’s “cluttered” out of embarrassment, but the truth is it’s downright dirty. I understand completely about how it can build up without you even noticing. I don’t know how it happens either, but it does.

I was reading something in a magazine in the doctor’s office awhile ago about the “hygiene theory”. Some researchers did a study and came up with the theory that our kids are getting sick more because of being raised in overly hygienic conditions.

Reminds me of an old Ma and Pa Kettle movie. Pa is reading the paper and he says to Ma how it says  that there’s this new thing that you can raise better kids with. It’s called hygiene. And Ma replies “Well let ’em raise their kids with it. I done just fine without it.” 😉

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[blackdog]

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have any basic carpentry skills. At least not that I know of. I could always try….

But I get myself into enough trouble with the skills I do have. I am now constructing papier mache bones, in addition to painting styrofoam headstones, and instead of cleaning the house. And I am really, really resisting the urge to try to make an entire skeleton.

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[shutterbug55]

@norrinradd

First off you will hear time and time again, that medications will not cure your ADD. If you haven’t heard that before, there it is.Unfortunately, there is no magic pill that will make it all go away. However. There is a medication out there or a combination of medications that will lessen the affects.

ADD is not curable in any sense. Our brains are wired this way and we have to learn to work with that wiring.

The right medications will help you step back from the symptoms and reign them in a little so you can redirect your thoughts, your activities, or what ever. Medications don’t do this all by themselves. Councilors and coaches and support groups work as well, by giving you the tools you need to identify and redirect behaviors that negatively affect your life.

Your support system will help you pull positive traits out of the ADD condition you have and maximize them while minimizing the affect of the other traits.

It takes work. It is worth the effort. You will have to stay on top of it. That is why I look at ADD as a curse, not a blessing.

A little about me. I still have many projects that have gone unfinished. I add to them all the time. It’s OK.  Now, instead of acting on them imediatly, I write them down, draw them out and when something else captures my attention, I put it in a file folder and put the folder in a (full) cabinet. I am out a little time, a few sheets of paper, and I can always go back to the project, if I want. No fuss. No muss. Couldn’t have done that, before.

Hope that helps.

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[blackdog]

Once again I find myself wondering what it would be like to live in an ADHD community. A place where everyone has ADD/ADHD and everything is set up to allow us to just be ourselves. No clocks, no strict schedules, everyone just floating freely wherever the wind takes them…..

And everyone looking out for everyone else, helping them to stay on track when necessary, working together to complete those projects. Get bored with your project? Go work on whatever your neighbour is working on for awhile. A lot could be accomplished that way.

My brain is tired right now. That’s where this is coming from. When I started reading about how it’s hard work to live with ADD it started begging me not to make it work anymore for today. So I better stop. Maybe take a nap. That sounds good.

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