Could it be a Mistake?

[Anonymous]

My son, who is 8 years old has been diagnosed with ADHD and “possible” sensory processing disorder.

I guess my queastion is, could this be a mistake? Almost all the literature I have read about ADHD points to a child who cannot self regulate; a child who angers easily, and who can be destructive. In my mind (and I know that it’s probably stereotyping) a child with ADHD is often uncontrollable even as a toddler, a child that is difficult to take anywhere, or leave with anyone. I know this is wrong, but even when I listen to your webinars it rings so untrue of my child.

My son was an awesome baby, he slept through the night at 3 months old, hardly ever cried unless he was hungry, hurt, or tired. He never threw any temper tantrum that sticks in my mind as uncontrollable, and I could leave him with anyone. As a pre-schooler he appeared to have little friends that adored him, and when he started primary he was invited to almost everyone’s birthday party in his class; and they in turn came to his.

Does this sound like a child who was out of control? That was unlikeable by his peers? As far as I understand most children can make judgments for themselves even in primary.

When he attended grade one, we had decided to move to Saskatoon from Nova Scotia. Everything my son knew was taken away from him when we moved, his grandparents that he adored, adults in his life that loved him, and protected him since he was born except his parents, were all gone. He started school here in Saskatoon, and immediately had problems. The other kids didn’t take to him, and he was learning very poorly, and at the end of grade one, he had few friends, and an even lower reading level.

The teachers say that he doesn’t get along very well with his peers; in Nova Scotia I was told he could make friends anywhere, and with anybody. He tells me that he wants to be friends with these children, and in the same sentence tells me that some of them want to beat him up. I was, and still am at a loss.

So, I tried to do what I thought was right. I made appointments, I have had assessment after assessment (autism, speech, OT, vision, and more), no answers.

So, the pediatrician recommended medication, and we were referred to a psychiatrist, and started my son on Concerta. The medication made little difference, and at times seemed to make things worse.

It took over a year to get into an appointment with a psychiatrist, and when we finally did get in, they increased the Concerta, and put him on Prozac. The incrrease in medication has side affects that affect sleep; sometimes he is up until after 2 in the morning. He gets headaches, and focuses on things like bruises on his legs, or spots on his skin, and picking through his food. My husband and I find this even more distracting, and to me it’s upsetting. When he is on Concerta he does not want to be touched, nor does he interact well with us, or his sister. Is it just the wrong med?

Are the typical markers for ADHD just a guidline? I need help to understand this, and so does my husband. My neices and nephews have written him off as someone to play with, and I just feel as though I have failed since we moved to help him be his old social, confident self. I never, ever in a million years would have thought that my son would not be able to have relationships. Almost all the kids he ever met in Nova Scotia loved him.

Please help Us

REPORT ABUSE

[kc5jck]

I’ll not get into a big long ramble here. Much of what you write reminds me of my son. Slept through the night, easy going, moved when he was four and again at eight. Difficulty in first grade, occasional trouble finding friends, etc. Grew into a really nice young man who just couldn’t seem to function up to par. ADHD presents itself in many different ways and forms as well as degrees.

I felt there was something different but would never have expected ADHD. Like you, I thought ADHD was uncontrollable kid, etc. He was diagnosed last year at age 20; and myself this year, age 59, after learning about ADHD and recognizing that I had it as well.

College was a big bust for him. This past semester on Adderall, he made a B and a C. Adderall has made a huge change in him and his ability to function.

It’s possible your son could have some of the SCT type of ADHD. I don’t believe the proper meds should should have adverse side effects. If you are seeing a lot of or even a few side effects, I would go with a different med.

Don’t give up. Learn all you can. Good professionals with a knowledge of ADHD are not easy to come by. So beware, you may be given a lot of bad advice. Don’t pump him up with meds that are going to make him act weird and feel bad.

There are some you tube videos of lectures by Russell Barkley that you should watch. Use google to find them. There are two of about an hour and twenty minutes that I like and you should find interesting.

http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2083#post-18417 has some information on the site.

REPORT ABUSE

[billd]

My youngest was never “out of control” never threw tantrums, could be taken to church and was one of the better behaved kids there, same for restuarants, etc. We could go to card partys at the neighbors place and at 9pm, he and his brother came and asked where they could bed down until we were ready to go home. My youngest has ADD really bad – remember, there’s ADD and there’s ADHD – not all kids have the hyperactivity part. My son was not really destructive more than others his age, got along brilliantly in day care – the sitters I hired loved to be with my kids – they were charmed by them both.

My youngest was/in a real charmer – charismatic. But there’s the problem with his ADD – he’s charismatic, calm, etc. – and a con artist.

i believe you’ve been exposed to too many stereotypes, personally.

kc5jck gave some good thoughts – and frankly, the post hits home with me in several areas. My son is a sociopath in some ways, no ability for empathy. He wasn’t hyperactive, but had all the traits of ADD and was formally diagnosed. The meds worked miracles on him when he took them. Like was said already – ADD/ADHD is something I compare to pain – there are different types, different levels, and not all respond to all treatments. Different meds treat different effects and differet types.

I was recently told that meds will act in as many different ways as there are people. Each body is different. Some folks take a small dose of the same meds I take and have such a huge difference they feel it the same hour they take the meds. I take a big dose and my body has adjusted now and it’s as if I took nothing. It’s not working on most symptoms for me in my case. The strattera all said would be a really good one for me did nothing but cause side effects. Nuvigil did nothing at all for me after 2 weeks – it totally stopped working.

Different drugs are used to treat different symptoms, different drugs will act differently in different people, and for some people, I’m probabl one of them, no drug will help.

For my son – he ended up in a hospital in a far away foreign country (yeah, I know the feds are monitoring every move I make or things I say – HAHAHA how else did you happen upon me at home when most folks would have been working. ) and we’re not sure what they did for him – but last his brother heard, he’s totally settled, speaking with logic and not at all like the ADD person we knew him to be. His brother told me “I think they put him back on some meds or something”.

For me, I’m still pretty crazy ON meds.

Ignore the stereotypes or things you hear about ADD kids all being out of control little brats. It’s not that way, not for all anyway.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I came accross this post through a search on sensory processing disorder.

JollimoreM, if you still moonitor this I’d be interested to know how your son is doing now.

My son is probably the posterchild for your definitions of ADHD, but like yours, slept through the night as an infant (2 months actually), was not difficult to take anywhere, and could be left with others (though brief period of separation anxiety when left at daycare for the first time). He grew into a very sweet but active toddler). Now at 6 the impulse control is a huge concern, and he has some possible sensory challenges.

But ADHD is based on a spectrum, from inattentive to hyperactive and everyone is different.

One thing I’d add is that sometimes when you remove someone from the environment that has addapted with them and put them in a new environment, that persons “differences” will be more aware to the new environment (like when someone hasn’t seen your child in a while and comment that “they’ve grown/changed” and you hadn’t noticed). And it might be a generally socially acceptable difference but the new environment (especially 8 year olds, they can be so mean) still won’t accept it. Does that make sense?

I guess what I’m saying, is whatever is prompting the ADHD diagnosis (whether the correct diagnosis or not) may have always been there. Your son was just loved and accepted as it developed so there was no problem.

REPORT ABUSE

[shutterbug55]

The way you describe your son is almost exactly how I was, when I was little. I was quiet. I was very withdrawn. I was never performing to my potential. The list goes on. I am sure you have read this on many different posts. ADD is a spectrum dissorder. it affects everyone differently.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts