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crippling anxiety when talking to women: the worst

crippling anxiety when talking to women: the worst2011-01-03T06:58:55+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey Is It Just Me? crippling anxiety when talking to women: the worst

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    I got diagnosed with ADD at a very young age and have run the gamut of different medications, currently not taking any medication… I’m now 27 years old, and even though I like to think of myself as a good looking and friendly guy, I’ve been utterly single for six years straight. I work at a constantly crowded rock venue / bar, I play in a band, and am always around cute girls that I notice are looking my way and smiling. I’m pretty sure a lot of them want me to walk up and start a conversation but I almost never do, the thought process being “what the hell do I talk about?”, or that whatever I say will just come off as either cheesy, desperate or even creepy, which will ultimately lead to them quickly losing interest. The race cars in my head don’t allow me to relax enough to just have a conversation with a woman… unless I’m drunk, in which case I’m much more sociable. I’ve been with a few women here and there but nothing that I would consider a healthy, long term relationship. Either I lose interest, or I become so afraid of losing THEIR interest that I just cut it off. Sometimes I feel like I’m making excuses not to be happy, and I have come to expect disappointment when looking for relationships.

    Right now I’m just starting to see someone new (our third date will be this wednesday), and already I’m feeling the anxiety start to boil up. Our last date was a bit more awkward than the first because I started getting anxious and nervous, and the awkward silences got my mind racing to think of something funny or clever to say, all the while drawing a blank and starting to sweat. It’s brutal I tell you. I’m wondering how much of this is due to ADD or anxiety and/or depression, or if anyone has noticed a difference in self-confidence with different techniques or medications? This problem also extends out to large gatherings of friends, even family gatherings.

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