CURIOUSITY! – Questioning Everything for the BETTER

[iamroy]

I’ll save a lengthy post for the “My story ” channel as this theory of mine will probably be enough of a blunder.

Thoughts: As an avid mind who never knew of “ADD” , I have always questions things for the worse, my notion being of remarkable similarity to a “symptom” …. I HONESTLY DON’T think it is all that bad.  Consider the example of a good thought? & a bad one(that I have been used to since the age I could conjure them up) … I ask you if you have any similar thoughts that have helped people recently…Neither good nor bad in its most basic sense …but more-so , actively helped people? I’m constantly considering certain variables that may change people’s lives for the better or question our “social norm”…I’ll leave you with a short-story and example.

I grew up chunky, wierd, shy…and every other negative inconsiderate term that children throw around… I’m always full of energy though I only recently started SHOWING IT (talking socially … I lost a ton of weight and so I’m not sure but certain situations arose at my University which carved out a way for myself to become a true “promiscuous person when it came to finding women…” …Every guy would relay their very basic “thought” onto me ,that I’m so lucky …that they cannot figure out how I do it …Every women conversely, would consider me either fun, an asshole, or both , or some other term that people would so love to throw my way , apparently as if it was a compliment or something….They truth is I’m only starting to understand my uniqueness (Add most avidly prioritized ) and I feel like many people make a quick decisions that are based on some preconceived phallacy… WHY? I enjoy thinking through the differences between social dynamics…(if you’re wondering , wth? How did he overcome social anxiety with ADD??) believe me I absolutely didn’t as I realize new situations will present themselves that will excite dormant factors relating to our apparent anxiety…. I Still have a speeding mind and heart and etc. when I’m around people but I ALSO HAVE THAT FEELING WHEN I’m ABLE TO THINK FREELY ENOUGH…. I can produce vivid thought processes that excite my brain into similar processes(NOT NEGATIVE but actually positive) …IN A PHRASE, I’ll Take It…

My Theory to Ponder.. Why are people so accepting of the theory that one should have one partner only? Is it wrong to enjoy multiple partners (safety considered of course) if you are safe and sensitive to the overall well-being of our population? If you need clarity on my stand-point or just want to ponder along , feel free to provide feed-back as well!

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[deebee]

I’m not sure whether you’re talking about dating/sex partners or life choices. Either way, one person is certainly easier than juggling several, unless they are all one-night stands, in which case you’re cheating yourself out of interpersonal everything. Serial monogamy works for some people, too (as long as they don’t have to marry and divorce). I did lots, from hooking up for a few hours to living with a partner for a few years.

Novel concept: Perhaps people should be free to do whatever works for them, as long as they are honest about it.

But I don’t think “theory” is the best label for belief in permanent coupleship. Many historical customs, religions, social and political organizations have heavily influenced that pattern. Perhaps for some, societies moving from extended-family group quarters to mobile single-family domiciles created a concern about how to provide children with sufficient socialization to become healthy adults. If/when a woman has children, she could likely use the help of at least one other adult with a personal interest in the offspring. And a bunch of monogamous couples are probably (at least theoretically) simpler to govern.

Most likely because I was raised without religion, I’ve never felt pressured to marry, or to be monogamous, nor did I grow up expecting to ever have a permanent mate. In fact, the very idea of living with one person forever filled me with horror. How would I ever deal with the boredom that would surely set in almost immediately? I had a hard time spending more than a few hours with anybody, no matter how much I liked him or her.

I ended up falling into a relationship that didn’t bore me, then when I was 62, we began to call ourselves married so I could share his health care plan. We have an uncommon relationship, though. We both are wildly ADD, which is sometimes advantageous and sometimes disastrous. We are both smart, highly verbal, well-educated (at least in our own minds!), each of us usually able to “win” encounters with others. We both hate noisy environments – emotional or physical, and need long stretches of time alone to read, daydream or socialize with others.

Shortly after we met and realized just how complementary our psyches were, we made a pact not to yell at or belittle one another. We have never had a single fight in 15 years. We disagree plenty, argue fairly often and get pretty competitive sometimes – but NEVER insult or degrade each other. And I never get bored.

One thing I can tell the sexy young, footloose and fancy-free: Going out hunting for companionship can get old – and exhausting – as one ages and responsibilities take their toll. Also, there is something to be said for having someone who is tickled to see you even at your ugliest!

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