Daisy chain of problems led to discovery

[Anonymous]

Being new to this forum, I wanted to toss in my 2 cents to see if anyone else went down this path to discovery. I will be brief and not too detailed, as I can be prone to tell long stories…

I’ve been sleepy since I was 13. Not tired, but sleepy. I would sleep 13-15 hours on the weekends straight when I was a teen. As an adult I was always yawning and craving a nap. It hurt my relationships and employment. I finally talked my doctor into referring me to a sleep clinic (being on HMO, this was a challenge). I did a sleep study when I was 32. Slept fine through the night…but my daytime sleepiness was “off the charts”. Doctor diagnosed me with “Idiopathic Hypersomnolense”. Informed me that there was no cure, but could be treated with stimulants. I went through a myriad of prescriptions, most that usually treat narcolepsy. From provigil to (yes, quite literally) methamphetamine. Nothing was working. The meds would wire me or hype me up kineticly, but I was still in a fog in my mind and wanted to sleep. My GP was amazed when I told him I would often get up on days off work, take my medication, and go back to sleep for a few more hours. Then I was prescribed adderall.

Something changed. Not only was I awake and alert, I was focused and productive for the first time in my life! At my job, I started working up to 88 hours a week without a problem. And I was still able to lay down at night and drift right off to sleep without problem. I actually got a BIG promotion at work during this time because of my new found productivity. Laser focused and untiring. But this led to other issues, mainly relationshipwise, which unearthed a ,what I discovered later, a deep seated, long lasting depression. I sought out a therapist who, in time, referred me to a psychiatrist, and I stared antidepressants to go along with my adderall. Another myriad of prescriptions before finding anything that worked. Lexapro for a long time, then a high level of prozac. Eventually, I went into a major depressive state that left me unable to work for almost a year.

During this time, I began seeing a new therapist. She focused on my general issues and not just the depression. She put me through a battery of personality tests and other psychological tests to try and find the root of the problem. Her summation: ADD, OCD and depression dating back adolesence. She began pointing out alot of my ADD symptoms and behaviours as the problems in my teens which led me to want to sleep and escape the world. When my ADD allowed me to focus on one task, the OCD took over and I would have to look at every aspect of said task until I exhaused all possible problems. My frustration in not finishing tasks, my reduced self esteem from being accused of being lazy and getting poor grades throughout school, and overall anger management issues induced by my ADD, cause the depression to grow and become an integral part of my behaviour.

Having now recognized all these traits through therapy, and seeing how much my life has improved on Adderall, things for me have been better then ever. I am not immune to problems. Currently going through divorce…been laid off 5 of my last 6 jobs…still battling depression…but I now have tools and tricks to get me from day to day to cope with the issues. Over these years my profession has morphed from a software tech to a data analyst, and when I unleash my ADD/OCD on a sales forecast, I run the rist of OVER analyzing the data, but the results are always impressive to those ordering the reports.

So the battle goes on as does my learning about this issue. I”m glad I found this site and look forward to participating and reading from others.

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