Denial

[Anonymous]

Ok so I was diagnosed in Oct 2009. Tried several medications until we found a great one (Vyvanse). took it for all of December, had a great work production month. January, stopped taking medicine. I just felt, well maybe I don’t really have ADD the medicine just gave me an extra boost, but I really don’t need it. Then stopped taking it for a couple months, work went into trash. Took medicine for a few days in April, felt great and decided that that meant that I really didn’t need the meds and was just diagnosed by the doctor just because I knew and had looked up too many sympoms of ADD before our meetings and he diagnosed because I pulled the wool over his eyes.

Now, I haven’t taken meds since April, i’m having a tough time at work, I feel extremely overwhelmed. I know I should just go back on the meds but now I’m just in denial that I even have ADD. I know the symptoms and I can look back and see it as a child too.

I guess I’m in a pretty stupid space right now. I mean I think I don’t have it, but then I do, but then I don’t, but then I’m just making excuses by saying I do have it, but then if I don’t does that mean I’m really just that lazy and useless……. Ahhhhhhhhhhh

So my question, has anyone else experienced this emotional crap associated with their diagnosis?? Any tips or thoughts?

REPORT ABUSE

[Ivriniel]

I think you need to figure out why you want to deny the diagnosis. Is it because you don’t want it to be true, or do you have some sort of compelling reason to think it might be something else?

If it’s because you don’t want it to be true, you might want to figure out why that is. If you keep denying that there is an elephant in the room, then the room is going to keep filling up with elephant manure. Acknowledge the elephant is there, and then you can start to deal with the situation.

REPORT ABUSE

[Patte Rosebank]

This “I feel better, so I don’t need my meds” is typical behaviour in those with a mental condition. And it’s one reason why it’s so difficult to treat mental conditions. As long as you’re on your meds, you’re fine. When you stop taking them, without your doctor’s approval, very bad things happen. You could have withdrawal symptoms. You could become a danger to yourself and others. How many terrible crimes are committed by seriously mentally ill people who have been off their meds? ADHD isn’t in the same league as, for example, paranoid schizophrenia, but, untreated, it can lead you to do things that will screw up your life. Or, at the very least, make your life extremely miserable and seriously limit your ability to fulfill your potential. That tough time you’re having at work—Could you be fired over it? Or would you just suddenly decide to quit? Either would be a seriously career-limiting move. Not to mention an income-limiting move.

The bottom line: See your doctor, and discuss all this with him. Figure out why you keep going off your meds, and why you’re resisting the diagnosis. Second, you MUST take your meds, every day, as directed by your doctor, unless you have a serious side effect. Even then, you should discuss it with your doctor before stopping, especially if you’ve been on it for a while. This is a very basic, essential responsibility. People wait months to see a specialist and begin treatment. By not following that course of treatment, you are taking up time and resources that are so desperately needed by others with ADHD. It takes only a few seconds to swallow a pill. And maybe, if you keep taking those few seconds, you’ll discover your doubts are going away and staying away.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Wow, OK. I agree that I need to take my meds. My response would be top end up randomly getting frustrated and quitting work.

REPORT ABUSE

[BAM123]

I have had similar thoughts – I take a low dose of Adderal. My biggest concern is that bit elveates my B P – I tried welbutrin inconjunction with adderal and the results were not good.

My current startegy is to take adderal every other day to limit the exposure and B P risk and basically I don’t usually take it on the weekend.On the alternate days I usally supplemnt with a couple of cups of coffee during the day for stimulation. I find that if I am off it for 2 or 3 days I start to have symoytoms reoccur and I start up again.

I know adderal is different than welbutrin or straterra, so not sure if that is somthjing that would work in conjunction with your doctios advice

I would take the med every day accept for the B P concern and adderal is more topical than other meds as it leaves your system after several hours. But having taken it for a while some times I feel so functional that I convince myself, maybe I don’t mneed it – but after a couple of daysd I realize I do.

I would love to find an alternative – like meditaion or diet to control symptoms biut until then it looks like the meds.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone

New to both this web page and ADD so be gentle!! Have been on the medication since about this time last year.

I too struggle with the diagnosis as it almost feels like the “easy way out” or “excuses everything”.

Being an amateur athlete, stress head and idealist predisposes me to being reactive to subtle changes in my diet, medication or surrounding personal and business environment. I take vyvanse after being on Aderral XR and find my BP is borderline high 150/90 but 125/75 in the morning before and at night.

On top of all of this my year has taken me through a traumatic divorce, assault and being left as a single parent to my 3 year old son. I suppose you might as well get all of the change done in one go!

Last week and for the first time since taking this combination of medication I was able to whole heartedly work a week. After many years of sales and all that comes with this I was left with no interest to go back and have struggled with the purpose and what I wanted to do with my life.

I noticed that during this period of work (7am to 12pm hard stressful work) my blood pressure was lower than being sat at home on my own and with some brilliant counselling from the few friends I have feel I am starting to make progress. I am ADD, I have embraced the massive negatives and also the huge positives and for the first time a glowing report of me at work was given.

“On 29-Jun-10, at 9:11 PM, R wrote:”

“So glad you could make it Lee – you were indispensible. I can’t thank you enough for all that you have contributed to the film and I know Rick feels the same way.

Robyn xo”

“Thanks Robyn and after the year I have had your comments mean a huge amount.”

“Awe… you’re awesome babe.. so glad you were there! We are going to postpone our wrap event for when we finish the last day and do it in a few weeks.. stay tuned

Xo R”

To finally not have the feeling of frustration and to be needed I think contributed to the BP level and I am learning no medication in the world can eradicate that. Finding the right career choice is pivotal to me and I am sure has been spoken about lots, I just wanted to contribute to this post to say we are given the tools we have as ADD for a reason and don’t stop looking for what is right for you in both medication or counselling but the starting point was my acceptance of who I am and not only the ADD part.

Lee

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts