Diagnosed 9 mos ago, still in denial, scared about meds, studying problems… :(

[Patte Rosebank]

University/college involves a completely different learning model than we’re used to, and that’s why so many of us who have done well in school up to that point, crash & burn so spectacularly.

In elementary & high school, you learn by discussing the material in class, and doing assignments, which are handed-in and marked. Discussing the material means you are listening, analyzing, and talking about it. You’re involved with it, so you’re much more likely to absorb it. And the daily discussions, plus the short-deadline assignments, require you to keep up with the material, and give you instant feedback.

In university/college, you’re expected to learn by sitting in a classroom with way more students than you’ve ever had in a class before, and taking notes while the professor talks AT you. You don’t have time to analyze the material, because you’re too busy trying to sort-of transcribe it, so you don’t miss anything.

Unfortunately, it’s a very specialized skill to be able to transcribe live material, without missing anything. Even if you use a Stenotype machine (which is a shorthand typewriter) as they do in courtrooms and live closed-captioning—which NO student can afford to buy or learn to use. Trying to condense live material into notes adds another layer of multitasking.

So, at the end of the lecture, you realize that you have pages of notes, but no real understanding of what the hell you just sat through.

There’s no structure or feedback for months, because you’re given assignments with deadlines that are months away, and near-total freedom to complete them—just as long as they’re handed in by the deadline. Nobody even takes attendance, so if you don’t feel like going to class, you can easily get away with it. No structure at all! Classes like that were completely the wrong fit for me.

The few classes I had that were smaller and followed the high-school model of discussion-based learning, were my favourites, and this was reflected in the high marks I earned in them. Even when the subject wasn’t my favourite (such as “The Works of Samuel Beckett”), the discussion-based model and the enthusiasm of the prof (who worshipped Beckett), held my interest and involved me.

If high schools were required to teach students the special skills to prepare them for the university/college system, and course catalogues were required to state whether a course was taught by lecture or by discussion, so we could choose courses that would fit with our learning style, far fewer of us would crash & burn on arrival.

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[Duffie]

Hi to all,  I`m closing in on 65 and wasn`t diagnosed till 2 years ago.During this time I`ve been able to restart my life in ways I thought could never happen.It hasn`t been the smoothest ride but I`m now through most of the regrets and replays  and feeling OK.I want to say this about meds.start low and go slow but do it.Find a Dr. who gets it.LEARN ever thing you can about ADHD, Reach out to others,Stay on this wonderful site. Duffie

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[MarieAngell]

I ditto Duffie’s comments and want to add that I have had to “educate” some of my medical providers about ADHD. Admittedly, one has to be careful with this and provide solid info, but I’m a pretty careful researcher.

Many medical providers only know what they were taught in school, perhaps some updates and what their patients may tell them in the few minutes they have with the doctor. I read a broad mixture of clinical research, books for patients as well as forums like this. Frequently I’ve made some off-hand remark about a common ADHD symptom and the doc will ask me how I know that. It’s from reading forums and books! For example, I mentioned messed up time sense and the doc had never heard of that. Really? Well, let me tell you, sir … .

Thanks to the wonders of hyperfocus, when I try a new med, for example, I will keep notes (messy notes, but still …) of my reaction to it and I don’t hesitate to bring those in. Nor do I ever hesitate to print out an article or study for a doctor and I have been thanked for that (usually sincere).

I am careful not to tell the doctor what to do or make demands, but I try to provide them with data to consider as they make decisions regarding my care.

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[Anonymous]

omg, my username is finally recovered and accessible.

 

help… real bad case of over-active brain into the wee hours of the night/morning! having no definite structure to my week wreaks havoc on my sleep, fitness, eating habits, and house chores.  ugh.  i hate to admit it but yeah, i need external structure to (help me) be happy.  the problem with that is all that structure grows to be confining, suffocating, and it makes me really anxious when i have to come up with results

see y’all in the forums.  i’m back….

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[Patte Rosebank]

The trick is to find or build just enough structure to keep us going, without being too controlling.

For me, the best structures are ones I build & evolve, myself.

But your mileage may vary…

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[haraldbenz]

I’d like to put in my 2 cents here.
I struggle with many of the same problems as you all do and yes, I wish i could turn finally my life around. I hear you guys and understand your pain because I’m dealing with the same sh!t.

Yet, there’s something i’d like to share with you that gives ADD/ADHD a very positive spin. A huge advantage over other, ‘regular’ people. I’d like you to be aware of the positives as well, not just the negative stuff. There is light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s not necessarily a speeding train. 🙂
The first is a simple realization that we can make work for us.

Only very smart people have ADD/ADHD. – No matter how many obstacles we have to deal with, take comfort in knowing we all have something going for us where we excel big time.
We just need to find this strength. It might not solve all the other problems (well, that’s what meds are for) but it’s a huge confidence boost knowing you are really (!!!) good at something. Something that makes you special. Keep in mind, that something might not be just one thing.

The other thing i’d like to share is an experience I made in my live that’s perfect proof to the above. Funny thing is it took me ages to realize it.
I’m not going to tell you this story to pad my own shoulder but to give you hope there’s more to ADD/ADHD than just the negative stuff.

• When I was in school (way back in Germany) I pretty much was only interested in art. I sucked badly at everything else. No matter what if it didn’t interest me I sucked at it.

Having Latin as first ‘foreign’ language was just one big disaster for me. It’s a dead language, unless one is interested in a career at the Vatican.
The other language on the itinerary (only for a year or two, compared to six years of Latin) was English. I was so hopeless my English teacher told me to my face that I would never learn it. Period.

Flash forward gazillian years. A friend who lives in Montreal, Canada invited me to visit him. He had immigrated with his parents to Canada years ago.
The words ‘yes, no and thank you’ pretty much encompassed my entire English vocabulary at that time. Hence I wasn’t really keen on traveling to an English speaking country.
At some point I just couldn’t say no anymore to my friend. So, off I went on my first flight straight into the unknown. The only comfort was that I could speak German with my friend.

Then something strange happened. Within the first few days of my visit a weird feeling grew stronger inside of me that I never experienced before. Maybe because I grew up at a boarding school and the fact that my parents moved while I was away at that school which meant the loss of all my friends at home, or that I later studied in a different city, or that I always have been a loner and found it hard to make friends (I always was the odd ball out) … I don’t know … but for whatever reason and for the very first time in my live, I felt shortly after my arrival in Canada strangely ‘at home’.
So much in fact I made the decision to wanting to live in Canada rather impulsively (after 3 days to be precise).
After explaining myself to my friend and his mother  (who strangely didn’t think I was completely nuts) I asked them first for permission to stay a ‘little’ longer than planned and secondly, i picked up the phone and called my soon to be employer (an ad agency in Frankfurt, I was between jobs) to tell them sorry, I won’t be coming.

To make a long story short, I extended my first visit to 10 weeks. In this time I learned with the help of my friend English. In the last of those 10 weeks I had my first few interviews in ad agencies in Montreal.
I knew full well that my final destination would be Toronto (didn’t want to do french advertising) but I wanted to see whether I had a chance as soon as possible. Little did I know that this turned into a huge confidence boost because I realized quickly I spoke already better English (after 10 weeks!) then the people who interviewed me. – Montreal is more French than English but they all are bilingual.

At that time I didn’t know I had ADD – got diagnosed only 5/6 years ago – but in hindsight I give full credit to my ADD for proofing my former English teacher in Germany so wrong, so quickly. Frankly, without ADD I don’t think for a minute that I could have pulled this one off.

 

PS: I’m living in Toronto for over 16 years now. Not that it applies to all the impulsive decision I made but I haven’t regretted this one for one second yet.

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[Geoduck]

Damn. This must be an ADHD site, because these posts are hella long. LMAO!!!

I can’t read through all the posts, so I’m saying this without being sure what everyone else told you.

1. The war on drugs is a joke, and may be causing more harm than good, by scaring the people who need stimulants, out of taking them. Talk to a qualified doctor. You would be taking small amounts, not snorting huge amounts, which is what people who abuse the medication do. Put it in perspective, it’s all about dosage.

2. Follow your gut instinct. Get that second opinion. People with Hi-IQ’s also have symptoms of ADHD, but not necessarily actual ADHD. If you started taking meds for a condition that looks like another condition, the meds would make things worse, not better.

My daughter has a stellar IQ, and I have ADHD, and while we both exhibit the same symptoms, our management of those symptoms are entirely different.

Of course, it is entirely possible for you to have ADHD and a Hi-IQ- this is called “Twice gifted.” Then meds would help.

3. College sucks muchly, even more if you are ADHD. If you have finally decided that you are indeed “twice gifted,” get the help you need, and if you are American, get a 504 designation to your doc, and bring it to your school administrators. There are special allowances, through the Americans with Disabilities Act (504 plan is under this), that will help you through school. They can include earlier registration, more time on tests, and the ability to get help for that class with which you are struggling right now.

That’s all I know. Sorry, wish I had time or the attention span to read up on all that, guys. Kids screaming, so even without ADHD, I’m a lost cause. LOL!

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[Robbo]

The level of intelligence some [lots] of you folks demonstrate around here is truly encouraging. I feel like just dropping by here for a half hour here, 29 hours there… will definitely rub off on me. It’s taken some time, but the smartening up my cranial apparatus has been enlightening as well as invigorating. I still got a lil air left up between my ears. It takes time.

I’m not even all that worried about my own “dumming down” effect causing you guys any harm these days. Heck, sometimes I see myself helping you folks. Imagine that. I actually have a measureable amount of self esteem to speak of. Fortunately they (the bosses) allowed me the honour of editing my own posts up until a few days ago. For that I’m trying to be a lil more grateful.

Do I get points for trying?

Well heck, I’m just goofing off anyway. Ta heck wit ya.

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[wyowildflower39]

Haha, I had to laugh @ geoduck, I was thinking the same exact thing 🙂
So, hi! I am new here, and just got my diagnoses teusday, its now Friday, and day three of my medication. I am also suffering guilt, shame and a bit of now what the heck do I do?? I am in a relationship with a wonderful man whom I PISS off constantly, but he understood my condition before I would even admit it…and well he is still HERE. Bless his heart lol
I am also a single mom of two AMAZING kids, my daughter 19, who is typical, and my son almost 14, severe ADHD. In trying to help him, I realized, hey I know exactly what it feels to go through that…
I thought i was just a malfunction in the universe. Turns out, I need to help myself haha.
I amazingly graduated highschool, and got a degree in veterinary medicine as a vet tech. With out meds, and many tries of antidepressents. Anyone here take those and they just make you worse, not better????
But here’s to hope, you are not alone and neither am i. Whew.
Nice to meetcha 🙂

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[Geoduck]

Actually, my post partum depression meds, Lexapro, did seem to actually help some of my adhd symptoms. Did wonders for the ppd. The adhd symptom releif was short-lived, though, and at the time, I didn’t recognize them as adhd symptoms. The anti-depressants continued to do their job for the ppd symptoms, and worked well for the next few months. Going off of them was miserable, though, and I don’t recommend that sort of drug when adderall is available, which contrary to popular belief, is not as horrible to discontinue.  In fact, it’s hard for me to remember to take the adderall, because I have no ill side effects when I don’t. I could have destroyed Tokyo with my Godzilla personality when I went off of Lexapro (I went off the wrong way on the advice of a bad therapist. Don’t do that.).

 

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