Diagnosed last week

[jlacroix]

I was officially diagnosed last week, and that was after about three years (give or take) of on-again/off-again therapy trying to figure myself out. I’ve been talking to my current therapist twice a month since January, and now that I have a diagnosis, it’s like a long, drawn out chapter of my life is complete. My son was diagnosed with ADHD a while back, and I found this site and learned a lot about it, including the fact that it’s genetic. Then it finally dawned on me, I approached my therapist about my suspicion that I may have ADHD, and she literally said “Yes, absolutely, no question.” So yeah, here I am.

I have to say, therapy was a very interesting and not so great experience. It seems like the media pretends that with therapy, you walk in, talk to them, and walk right out with a diagnosis and all the answers you need. But it wasn’t like that, and the problem was, I thought I was depressed, and that probably confused them. I thought I had little to no interest in the things I normally enjoy, and that is the definition of depression. But when I realized I don’t have diminished interest at all and the problem was that I just can’t concentrate (I want to do the things that I enjoy, but can’t make myself) then the conversation changed and everything became apparent.

I really enjoy this site, I find it entertaining and informational. I definitely want to thank the creators for making this.

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[brenda2691]

I had a similar experience years ago I. in that I was initially was treated for depression. In reality It was likely a comorbidity. Anti depressants helped me feel better but did nothing for the other symptoms, I just felt less bummed about them!
Once I went through the lengthy process of an ADHD diagnosis , suddenly my life made much more sense. It was such a relief because I was convinced I was just a little on the stupid side despite accomplishments.

It was very confusing because I have always loved life but will oscillate regularly between feeling razor sharp and engaged then totally out to lunch. I think the latter I confuses with depression because , like you said, I’d want to do stuff but for the life of me I can’t get my butt in gear because of the indecisiveness. Do you find that also causes a lot of anxiety as well? It sure can for me if I am not monitoring my thought tendencies.
Thanks for your post, much appreciated.

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[jlacroix]

What you’ve described matches me fairly well. I feel as though after the diagnosis, things make much more sense, I understand why things are so hard. The ADHD diagnosis answers the “why” but it doesn’t answer “what” to do about it. I am at the beginning of the process so there is no way I can know what I should do about it yet, but I can research about it now knowing what to base my searches and reading on. Like you said, life suddenly started to make more sense.

As for anxiety, I feel that not being as productive as I want to be does cause anxiety. Granted, I can have anxiety even without being under-productive, but being a working adult makes this especially hard since there’s a certain level of productivity expected every day. For the most part, I have to force myself, and I do. But I can sometimes feel depressed about it as well, and anxious from not being able to do what I want or need to do.

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[brenda2691]

Hmmm… definitely helps me reflect on some of my own challenges. I think, for me, the first thing I got out of working with the psychologist that did my assessment was to stop trying to function in the same way as everyone else around me.

Self care is really important and discovering what is enjoyable and helps me feel good took priority whenever possible.

I realized I was constantly comparing myself to others who did not share my brain style. Some people are consistently disciplined and productive – how admirable and unbelievably boring! I do things in bursts and when that happens I am a machine! I know that my best focus time is mid-morning and late evening and I get way more done then. Mid afternoon I am fuzzier so I’ll avoid scheduling things then and go exercise instead.

Even just little things from day-to-day that would add up and frustrate me. For instance, keeping paperwork organized. Over and over again I would sit down and neatly organize everything into a file box, because that’s what people do. Not only could I not maintain it but I’d have trouble finding stuff when I needed it because I could think of several great categories that would have been appropriate for any one thing. I finally clued in that for me, the best personal filing system was a big box with the year written on it, toss everything in it and I would know where to find stuff. A perfectly acceptable and effective solution for me. And sticky notes everywhere. I also love my google calendar app because I alarm everything about 4 times so I don’t miss anything. And my bills are all auto-debit. Basically anything I could think of to automate the mundane so they are off my plate and done – or better yet, delegate to someone who’s better at it in exchange for something I do well.

Making a game out of rearranging stuff can provide much needed stimulation and improve function. But on those days when I’m feeling anxious but I can’t get my butt in gear to do what I’d ‘planned’ on doing, what helps my anxiety is to just do ‘anything’, to start as small as taking out the garbage or wiping a counter or going for a walk. Inevitably one action leads into another one and before I know it my productivity kicks in and I feel much better not dwelling on my initial disappointment.

Not sure if that helps but that is where I started. Simple, easy and small step to build confidence and the progress helped ease some of the anxiety.

Above all, keeping a sense of humor about has really helped.

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[jlacroix]

I’ve been meaning to reply to this for a while but I had an issue with my web browser that prevented me from accessing this forum.

Since I originally wrote this topic, I asked another therapist for a confirmation of ADHD. My current one at the time said that she felt that diagnosing was meaningless, that it’s only good for insurance purposes. But a diagnosis is what I wanted. She confirmed that based on talking to me for so long she was convinced I had ADHD, but that wasn’t enough, I wanted more detail so I went to another therapist.

My new therapist had me and two other people fill out a questionnaire about myself. It’s definitely confirmed now, no question about it. Next week we are going to go over my stats and percentiles in more detail, and that’s exactly what I wanted – 100% confirmation.

I noticed that I’m forgetful a lot, I probably always been. My partner sometimes gets irritated with my forgetfulness, but I no longer feel like it’s my fault. With the diagnosis, and a much better understanding of ADHD, I find that I’m not so hard on myself. I try my best, that’s all I can do, and all that should be expected.

I learned a hard lesson though, something that I feel is important everyone learn from. When you suspect you may have a disorder, it’s commonly agreed that you should seek a therapist and get evaluated. However, I learned that it’s not that simple. I’ve been going to therapy for years! No one could help me figure me out until recently. And what I learned is simply seeing a therapist isn’t enough, check their specialties! My current therapist is an ADHD expert, so he’s able to tell someone if they do or do not have ADHD. My previous one didn’t have that specialty, so the lesson is, seek a therapist that specializes in what you want help with. It makes a world of difference, and knowing that ahead of time could’ve saved me years of trying.

Now that I have the diagnosis, I feel so amazing that I finally feel like I know much more about who I am, the way my brain works, and it’s liberating.

I love this site!

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