Disability AND ADHD

[ksmith]

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, 5 of them as he has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. I helped with that diagnosis after I read “You, Me, or Adult ADD?” And got it confirmed by a psychiatrist. He is now on Adderall. But add to the fact he has spine abifida and in a wheelchair and on Medicare. So he has been beaten down by his disability and the probs with ADHD. It’s hard to be an advocate when he is frustrated or thinks himself a failure most of the time. He has these great ideas, but loses interest after a few months. Because of some of these ideas and having a low paying job, I can’t keep funding these ideas. So I guess my question is, how can I help keep him interested in staying with ONE idea and telling him he’s not a failure? There are more questions, but I’m starting with that one…

REPORT ABUSE

[Patte Rosebank]

@Ksmith, that’s a really difficult situation for you and your husband. How’s he doing on the Adderall, so far?

For me, I’ve found that a positive “return on investment”, in the form of interaction with others, and positive comments from them, keeps me interested in pursuing a particular interest. If I have to do a project all by myself, the responsibilities and complexities (and risks) become so overwhelming that, even though it *was* something I really enjoy doing, I lose interest and give up, because the pain outweighs the pleasure.

Are there friends or colleagues who could meet with your husband, to help him develop his ideas? Even sitting with him and discussing them will help draw the ideas out of his head, and form them into something more concrete. This needs to be ongoing, maybe a regular weekly get-together, because we ADDers tend to have terrific ideas, but they stay “ideas”, stuck in our heads, because we have trouble turning this motivation into activation…unless we’re working on it with other people.

What do you think?

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts