Doubting yourself

[firechild]

Does anyone else feel a sense of worry whenever you make a decision? I don’t know if its related to past impulsive acts or if this is completely non-add related and just my own hang ups but whenever I make a big decision I always end up with a sinking feeling that I’ve made a terrible mistake. For example I officially applied to adopt my foster kitten tonight. My parents ( who are helping me out with money while i’m in school) are fine with the idea, i usually have two cats so a second cat isn’t a big deal, she’s young and healthy, and there is really nothing wrong with the decision, despite maybe taking on a bit of adversity in the future ( ie finding a place to live, taking two cats eventually to the uk) but I know I can handle this. And yet as soon as I submitted the application I started panicking and second guessing myself. And this isn’t the first time. Sometimes this leads me to drag my feet in order to avoid actually making decisions, which is not a great strategy.

I’m just wondering if anyone else feels this? Does anyone struggle with second guessing their choices as a result of bad impulse driven choices in the past?

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[kc5jck]

I tend to postpone making decisions for as long as I can, unless it’s something trivial. I think I do this in order to have the benefit of any last minute information that might become available and, for example, making purchases that I do not need. (Impulse buying.) I suspect ADHD figures in somewhere, perhaps a desire to avoid making a decision altogether, or making an unpopular decision. So when I make a decision, I feel like it is the best decision that can be made with the available information. Some turn out good, . . . really good, some turn out bad, . . .really bad. But they were the best that could be made at the time so I don’t beat myself up over the bad ones. Hopefully they are learning opportunities for next time.

Now for an ADD sidetrack: People who have had brain damage to the area of the dealing with emotions are unable to make decisions. I would have thought that decision making has to do with logic and ability to analyse a situation, but apparently this is not so. Someone with such damage cannot take pleasure in music or a pet, does not get angry at injustice, cannot decide between Pizza Inn and Kentucky Fried Chicken when they are hungry for pizza. I think this is most strange.

The problem I have, to get back on topic, is that I often have this feeling that I have forgotten something. Did I remember to:

Set the alarm? Tighten the lug nuts? Take depreciation on the tax return? File the return . . . or an extension? Turn off the burner? Eat? Write down what I wanted before entering the room so I would not forget?

And then there is: “Did I do that today . . . or was it yesterday?” as it applies to everything in my daily routine of which no written record is kept or incriminating evidence remains. How many of you guys think what you did six months ago has actually been two years? 😯

Oh, by the way, getting another cat is always a good idea.

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[allan wallace]

Making decisions is something that I’ve never been particularly good at, and I’ve contrived to have others make my decisions for me as an easy way out, I think to try and absolve myself from having a bad decision hung around my neck as yet another wreath of shame to hang with the rest of the doozies that are exclamation marks for my idiocy. I am certain that I’ll eventually develop enough confidence to be able to not nourish those too familiar feelings of impending doom and derision from the hecklers (led by oneself I might add ) that haunt after a lifetime of screwing everything up…as for the kitten, you clearly love the tiny thing, and that alone shows that you’ve made a good decision.

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