Driving, and dealing with anxiety

[munchkin]

laddybug – When my anxiety kicks up, I become a nervous driver too! Sometimes I just have to park and get a hold of myself for a few minutes! To drive or not to drive – I’ve gotten rid of my car and stopped driving several times, but always end up needing a car sooner or later to get to work. Now I live in a place that has almost no public transit, so that’s that. (At least it’s a place with almost no traffic – yay!!!) Maybe you can time your driving during low traffic times if that’s part of the issue… Also – do you have the option of not having passengers? Passengers make me more nervous, more distracted, and more self conscious. Heave ho with the passengers 😆

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[Anonymous]

I won’t drive on the big Interstate highways. Traffic and blending scare me too, and when we DO have to go to Seattle for something, DH drives and I “co-pilot” and it takes both of us to get there in one piece. Traffic there is terrible and the people who drive it all the time drive like they’re possessed!! I’m just hoping their light rail comes a bit closer to us and we’ll take that and ditch the traffic headaches!

I drive easily around our small town, it’s just Interstate driving I hate.

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[Anonymous]

I have a sister-in-law who has ADD and whose sharing of experiences leads me to think I have it, too, I hate riding with her, as she does a lot of unnecessary braking, which makes me carsick really fast. We, in the family, always thought it was just something she never quite grasped about driving, but I was reading a book on ADD that said “false braking” can occur as a result of ADD. It was news to me! I told her about it, as she knows she does it. She was surprised, too. Neither of us ever made a connection between ADD and that.

One reason I am seeking treatment at my advanced age (68) is because, not only is ADD causing me a great deal of trouble in my life, but that it is also wreaking havoc in one of my son’s lives, as well. The whole extended family is disgusted with him except for his dad and I who know a little about what is causing most of his trouble. They just think he is lazy, stupid, and dumb. I know he’s smart. I bought him the book titled “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?” or something close to that, but he’s not ready to read it yet. I have told my husband many times that our son and I are just alike. I’m hoping if I get successful treatment, it might encourage my son and my sister-in-law to both seek treatment for their ADD.

It’s funny. Now, whenever I read about some banjo player who was an alcoholic and a wanderer, I say to my husband, “He probably had ADD!! ” I look back at all the biographies I’ve read about drunken husbands, husbands who didn’t want to stay in one place, etc. and I wonder how many of those had ADD–maybe ALL of them? People act as if this is a “modern” affliction, but I really doubt that. And of course, the “hunter child” theorists also don’t think it’s “modern.” I know I’m a bit “hyperfocused” on ADD now, but it is fascinating to look back at the stories of many peoples’ lives and see the connection.

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[munchkin]

Fast braking – ugh! I kept blaming it on my shoes

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[billd]

Give me open roads, Interstates (skip KC, Twin Cities, etc.), small towns, etc. I’m a decent driver, but I speed, get VERY irritated at stupid drivers, those who can’t make a decision and skip across 3 lanes to make a last-minute turn, etc.

I’ve hauled my show car around quite a bit – long hauls/drives, hours, miles, no issues, but put me in rush hour – ugh, good thing I’m not a violent person.

Brakes – brakes on my cars tend to last longer than normal/average. My wife goes through brakes like crazy. I don’t false-brake. I can anticipate what traffic and other drivers will do by observation. I can tell if they’ll pass, change lanes, etc. just by being observant. I’ve amazed more than one person with my “watch what this person is going to do” and be right about it. They look at me and ask “how did you know that?”

If others followed the rules, drove correctly, by the law and by the book – blending/merging would be easy. It’s because folks do NOT drive wisely, or by rules and laws today that there are “issues”.

My favorite is one my father told me years ago. He used to car pool to work at the factory. Involved 2 lane roads and Interstate. One day one of the other fellows was driving and coming out of Des Moines merging onto I80. He was having trouble and just pushed out, cutting another fellow off. My father pointed to the yield sign on the acceleration ramp and asked if he knew that that yield sign meant.

The other fellow who was driving said “sure, it means they are supposed to yield to me”

LOL – WOW, this guy was SERIOUS! What a complete idiot. People like that need to either go back to school, or have their license yanked forever for being such an idiot.

Acceleration ramps are so that you can get up to the speed of the prevailing traffic on the Interstate and BLEND IN.

You do not pull into the Interstate at 30 mph THEN get up to speed. That ramp is called an Acceleration ramp for a reason.

Deceleration ramps are exit ramps – you MAINTAIN your Interstate speed until you are on the ramp, THEN slow down. Do NOT hit the brakes and slow while still on the Interstate. It’s called a deceleration ramp for a reason – but today it’s commonly called an “exit ramp” and folks forget the true intent.

Wow, how many people don’t get it? most.

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[Anonymous]

LMFAO! You sound just like me when I am driving, Bill. It’s probably why I am so bad at driving in heavy traffic – I really hate other drivers, and I constantly get irritated by stupid driving. And I get bored and frustrated by the stop-start of peak hour driving. And the stupid things that drivers do will take my attention away from where it should be. I also speed (though I’ve never had a ticket!!), and much prefer open roads, though fast flowing traffic is not too bad. I think the adrenaline flow that occurs, due to the speed and the need for quick reflexes, sort of acts like a stimulant and keeps my mind where it should be. It’s the stop-start slow going stuff that messes with my head. And reversing, cos there’s too many things to watch out for and I often end up overlooking the biggest one (cars, trees, poles!) – I am grateful that cars have horns, cos I would have reversed into quite a few if I hadn’t been honked at!

BUT, despite my failings as a driver, I still find I have a good ability to predict events on the road. More than once I have avoided a major accident because I “just knew” that something was about to happen and I took steps to avoid it before it even occurred. Like the trailer in front of me that lost part of it’s load – I just had a funny feeling about it, so I slowed right down to give myself room, just seconds before a washing machine frame bounced off the trailer when it hit the gutter going around a corner.

I don’t ride the brakes OR false brake…..in fact, I don’t use the brakes unless I really have to lol 😉

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[Anonymous]

Laugh, oh Bild that sounded like one of my rants after coming back from driving down island. Driving boots my anxiety levels,

I am mistified at the strange things motorists will do at 90 mph or more. Saw a T-Bird zoming down our slippery highway, lost

control and drove up the meridian and ended up teeter totering on the concrete barrier.

Trying to learn to relax and not get wound up in other drivers .. just observe and stay away …sometimes it helps, otherwise I

am such a mess of nearves I pull off and rest.

Still trying to cope with ADHD, and fallout from anxiety and whatever else.

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[billd]

Wish it was “only” driving where people are stupid or inconsiderate, etc. Like grocery stores – they can’t keep the cart going straight, or at all while they chat about last nights date on their cell phone, or try to text while shopping. Give it a break already, shop and get out of the way so others can get through

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[Anonymous]

Or when someone picks up the phone and says “do you mind holding for a minute?”. YES, OF COURSE I MIND!!! What a stupid thing to ask 🙄 As if anyone in their right mind is actually happy to wait. If they wanted to wait a minute, then they would have made the call a minute later than they did

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[Curlymoe115]

That putting me on hold drives me crazy. That is why all my phones have hands free. But if I am calling on my cell phone and they do this I immediately hang up. Why would I pay this amount of money to sit and wait on the phone. Let it go to voice mail and call me back. The worst was when I called to make an appointment with the doctor. Called and was asked to wait. 15 minutes later I finally hung up and called again. When I called back they asked me if I minded waiting and I let them have it. No excuse for this. If you are a professional office and you have someone on hold, then you quickly conduct the other conversation, offer to call back with information and get to the next call. Or you put the person on hold, let the next caller know that you will be a few minutes and take a number and call back. You certainly never leave a caller on hold for 15 minutes without getting back to them. But then I guess just like inconsiderate drivers, shoppers and on and on people have forgotten courtesy and expect that everyone is willing to wait on them.

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[kc5jck]

I have found when you get one of those deals where you have to press “1” for English then

“1” for this

“2” for that

“3” to talk to an incompetent idiot who gives you an opportunity to explain the problem all over again to his boss

“4” to listen to irrelevant information

etc.

etc.

It’s takes less of my time to write a letter

By the time I’m offered the “leave a message” option, I hang up and call back when I remember why I called in the first place.

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[billd]

Curly – maybe the person on the other end was ADD and forgot that they had you on hold? Maybe they had 10 people on hold, and forgot………then 5 minutes later – gee, I wonder why all those lines are lit like that?

I have problems with phone menus because of my lack of short term memory. They give a couple of options, I’m not sure if either is really right, so I wait for the next, then that one isn’t right, now what were the first ones again? So I hang up and call back to hear the options again, hopefully remembering by the time I get to number 4 what the first 3 were just in case 4 is wrong.

On the way home tonight I got behind someone who was either afraid to drive (get off the road then) or the carpet was bunched up under their gas pedal and they weren’t able to press it, or they forgot which one WAS the gas pedal, or they were too busy on their cell phone to pay attention (and they say _I_ have the attention issues) UGH, 5 minutes behind someone like that on a 2 lane hilly road. Folks – the speed limit is 45, not 30.

Didn’t help that part of the trip a fellow was behind me who kept finding his gas pedal – he was on my back bumper, sort of drifting left and right, then he’d fall behind, then he was on me again….. again, I think he was texting or on the phone. He got SO close I lose site of his bumper and grill so I downshifted (scares the @#%$ out of them as my car very quickly slows).

Well, technically this state’s driving guide says that if someone is following too closely, tap your brakes a few times to get their attention. Hmm, get their attention, ok, I’ll do just that. I’ll get their attention.

He was a bit further away from that point, but still driving like he was doped or lost or texting. Again, they say _I_ have the attention issues.

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[Anonymous]

He probably couldn’t even SEE your brake lights, Bild, if he was that close. I hate it too when people follow me too closely, or if I am riding with someone who follows too closely.

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[Anonymous]

I understand what you are talking about with acceleration and deceleration lanes build, but when you live in hilly/mountainous area there isn’t time before the lane curves very sharply one way or another so you have to slow down before or you’ve not had a chance to accelerate before entering. Or you exit and the lane doesn’t give enough space to slow down prior to having to stop at a light or sign. This is very common in this area and other places I have lived. Plus some times you have to move over 3 times to get to the right exit because the road engineers should be shot and decided to put more than one exit in the same exit lane. Plus add icy/snow/wet roads and it causes all that much more difficulty.

I’ve noticed that I’m much less anxious or hurried while driving than I was before. I’m not saying I don’t drive at least 5 miles over the limit most of the time, but I’m not as bothered by those that don’t and won’t get over into the slow lane as I was before. I’m also less bothered by waiting at lights than I was before. We have some ‘lunch lights’ that I could consume my whole lunch while waiting for it to change and I would be getting so impatient and practically losing it before.

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[Author]

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