emotional disregulation?

[sdwa]

@trashman

Thanks for that – I feel like that often – why is my husband still with me? And I get despondent, like why do this whole life thing when it would be easier not to. You are definitely not alone. Sometimes I remind myself that I didn’t exist for billions of years and I’ll be gone for billions more – being alive is brief, anyway, in the greater scheme of things. I just want to say I’m glad you’re here.

 

@Carrie

Bags are nice. I’m stocking up on books by comedians, which will be for emergency use only. I made a clove orange to carry around for instant aromatherapy (although it might look a little weird, sniffing it at the bus station – ?). There is no root to this thing…I am the root to this thing. I’m 50, and I’ve been like this all my life. It’s more a management issue than anything else. I love your energy.

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[trashman]

Sorry gang, I did not want to be a downer just wanted to say I could relate!!!!

I spend alot of time in a dark place , but fear not I always say even jesus dosn’t want me. just don’t have a lot of purpose for my life. its all good!

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[sdwa]

@trashman

You have nothing to be sorry about. And what you said struck me mostly like you were saying you could relate – not like we had an imminent need for the national crisis hotline. But if we did, that would be fine. You won’t get any grief from me about that, because I’m not a zombie.

I know the feeling: I never felt like the world wanted me. Never feel like I have anything to give that anyone actually wants. Don’t feel like I belong anywhere. And mostly feel empty in a way that can’t be fixed. It’s not wrong – it is what it is. What response to the universe is appropriate under those circumstances? In my opinion, a loving god wouldn’t create that situation.

My best way to fix it was to try to get creative…but even that can be depressing when I’m creating stuff no one cares about. Then it’s like a contest between creating something good, and creating something that will lead to validation. Which can seem like mutually incompatible goals. I don’t have a lot of purpose, either, but so far, that’s been the easiest one to choose because it’s an arena I can control.

Nobody needs anyone dumping on them for feeling bad. Anyone who does that has their own problems. As they say, may you be who you are, and may you be blessed in all that you are. I want to live in a world where everyone can feel like who they are is enough.

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[seabassd]

@trashman, @sdwa, Yep.. I  jumped the gun a bit throwing the hotline number out there.

I definitely don’t want a place where we can’t share our feelings or where we feel judged for our feelings.

I wouldn’t want people doing that to me if I’m just sharing my feelings.

Sorry about that,

Damon

 

 

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