Facebook Tug of War!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I have Family that want me to run a Facebook page, I think I touched on another post that I was very much unpopular and a loner.

I had my page up 3 months ago and then took it down.

Its nice to talk to family I don’t get to talk to often, but high school brings back a lot of pain and hurt for me.

I have been out of school for 18 years but the pain is still there, lots of former I can’t call them friends so I’ll just call them people want to reconnect with me that I still have a grudge against, really everyone.

I don’t want any of them on my friends list, I have my page up right now but I may suspend it again after the holidays.

Your comments or stories will help, Thanks

REPORT ABUSE

[gforcewarp9]

You can just ignore all those people. They don’t become your facebook freind unless you click on the “confirm friend” button. Don’t click it! Tell people if you want, that you are just using your f.b page for close freinds and family. If peoples feelings are hurt, oh well… they weren’t nice to you in the past so oh well! Anyway, that’s my advice for what it’s worth…!

REPORT ABUSE

[vikki9]

Yes, Ed2020, I agree with gforcewarp9. When someone identifying themSelves as a potential Friend, and you feel differently, don’t add them. It’s facebook and You are in charge of your page.

It’s life and You are in charge right now! (Don’t you love that?)

Happy New Year!

REPORT ABUSE

[anniea]

I agree with gforcewarp9…I only confirm people I actuallly WANT to keep in touch with..(family/friends) I actually ENJOY NOT confirming people…classmates in particular…we have a face page tho so I go there sometimes…but not often…

I have a bunch of distant family I do not know, I haven’t confirmed them either…this is MY PAGE…MY RULEs….I haven’t blocked anyone yet…(cause I haven’t confirmed I think.)..what power…you ticked me off…so you are out!! take that!! evil giggle inserted here…

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

To Ed2020: Just my two cents worth of past experiences. Having pain and/or grudges from the past is perfectly normal. High School and JR. High are not always fun because many kids do not know how to treat other people. Instead of avoiding and blocking out your past here is a different idea…FORGIVENESS. Acknowledge the pain and hurt feelings, (write a letter to the person that hurt you but don’t send it), and then forgive them for their ignorance. Dr. Wayne Dyer has several books (Spiritual Solutions) about forgiveness and the art of letting go.

When your in your car, at work, or back in your past, never let an unenlightened person have any control over your feelings.

Peace.

REPORT ABUSE

[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Good point, Johnny Bravo,

I’ve discovered that the popular kids in my high school were stressed from trying to be liked and maintain their position, the jocks were stressed because they felt lousy at academics, the smart kids were unhappy because they felt like outsiders, the pretty girls hated having to look good all the time…

Of the hundreds of people I know, maybe 5 loved high school.

Everybody hurts. But I was so caught up in my own misery I failed to notice how everyone else was putting up a brave front too, but feeling alone, stuck in a clique, and trying to look good and fit in.

R

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Rick makes a good point as well. I was also miserable in HS, but now that I’m almost 40 years removed, with much more life experience under my belt (literally as well as fuguratively!) I know now that everyone I knew hated high school. As teenagers we have precious little life experience, and social situations are awkward at times. We want so desperately to belong, and we’d sell our souls to belong! This is the primary reason I played sports as a child, the feeling of belonging and camaraderie, even though I wasn’t any good at it.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much, you are all my friends. thanks again

REPORT ABUSE

[billd]

I avoid facebook like the plague………

Rick has made some great points – and my last reunion (I only ever went to 1! HA) I discovered:

Geeks and mechanics like me are NOW more happy than the straight-A most popular kids.

Several who were flagged for greatness are unemployed and/or divorced. The “popular” ones were constantly griping about work, family, you name it. Man, those people were really sad right now.

Several (of us) who were known as loners, failures, no one will ever amount to much are quite happy with life, we smile a lot, joke a lot, etc.

Some of those who THOUGHT they were number 1 spent most of their time with their drink, head hanging at the bar.

So what – I’m a happy geek, oh, AD/HD means I have my days, and I’m really scatter-brained (yeah, I was known as that, too – NOW I know why, though, and am a bit proud of it!) but over-all, comparing myself – I feel for those people, including the ones who picked on me!

How sad – I may not forget, some of my memory is waaay too sharp for that, but I’m not against walking up to them and saying hi and getting them a drink or something. I will NOT stoop to the level they once were.

Life is just too short – I’d rather collect friends than dwell on the others.

LOL – Rick, pretty can disappear – but what’s inside the girl, that’s forever. We need to keep that in mind as we get old and gray – very few can keep up “pretty” forever.

Ed if you ever travel I80 through Iowa, give me a shout.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

thanks man

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Hey Ed2020, don’t sell fb short! Don’t reconect with those for whom you do not wish to know what’s going on in their lives, but keep an eye out for people you may have a fond memory or two of. Just this past spring I reconected with a woman I went to school with k-12. We weren’t great friends in school, but now I count her as a close friend. It’s nice having someone outside your family who shares some of your memories from before you could vote Some openness and a little bit of forgiveness can bring you joy.

Peace & happy facebooking

REPORT ABUSE

[Curlymoe115]

Facebook can be a great tool, but remember it is just a computer tool like anything else. I always think it is funny that someone that made a point of tormenting me in highschool and elementary want to reconnect with me. And they remember me fondly (although I doubt they remember me at all) and want to reminisce about the good times. I didn’t have a fabulous time in high school (at the time it seemed endless). I have always been great at amusing myself so I went out of my way to only do things I wanted to do. I didn’t get invited to any of the popular kids parties but most of my circle of friends (there were 4 of us) did get invited and did go. It meant a lot of weekends by myself but I am a great believer in “Better to be alone then wish you were” so I read one of my books and didn’t let it bother me too much.

Now that I am much much much older I can honestly say that I feel pretty good about my life. I am still married to a guy who thinks that I am the greatest thing that ever happened to him, my kids are healthy and I have a great many opportunities to make my life fun and fulfilling to my own standard. I go to the popular kids pages and they are mostly unhappy, most divorced and they are always trying to recapture that magic of the best time of their life, which is now 25 years in the past. So Ed2020 just think about the great things you have going for you now and know that having found this place the future is much much brighter then the past and these people are always going to be searching for someone who remembers how great they were in high school because for the most part that was the greatest thing that ever happened for them.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the most pathetic people I know are the ones who are still trying to recapture the good times they had in high school but those days are long gone. I think I’d go ahead and friend them, unless they were truly awful, b/c of 3 reasons: 1. forgiveness, as stated above 2. B/c I don’t think they have the faintest idea how mean they were but remember, they were children then (and may still be) 3. so they can see how great you’re doing now–he he. I have reconnected with some people who were mean to me back then and was pleasantly surprised by how much we now have in common and they may become real friends after all–I’ve developed some social skills and they’ve developed some sensitivity. Anyway, it’s never healthy to stay stuck in the past and hold on to old grudges b/c we’ve all changed.

REPORT ABUSE

[Ivriniel]

I agree with what Johnny Bravo has said about forgiveness, but also want to add that as long as you don’t do things because of things that happened to you in the past, you are letting the past have power over you. Do you really want all that annoying High School crap have power over you now?

Forgive if you can, and if you can’t ignore the people you don’t want to friend on Facebook. They aren’t going to get a message that says “Ed2020 chose to ignore you” from Facebook or anything like that.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

My own experience with facebook is mixed. I got reunited with people I actually care for but I also got spammed alot and someone hacked into my account and started spamming other people. So I terminated the account. I’m not saying don’t do it but if you do get a really strong password. I also quit because I got so addicted that I was up til 2am on it.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts