Feeling Antsy!

[Carrie]

I have seen a lot of other posts like this, and have read them but I really just need to vent right now.

I have a love hate relationship with the sun! Of course in the winter (I live in the Rockie Mountains of British Columbia) its always cloudy from October till this time of year. And when it is so cloudy out, its next to impossible for me to get any motivation to do anything. I just want to stay in bed all day! Now this time of year the sun finally makes an appearance which makes my day! I wake up happy and ready to go! But here is the frustrating part! I have all this excitement, all this energy!! I want to get out! I want to do something!!! But then I have nothing to do! Its still very very cold out (I HATE the cold), cant landscape, ground is frozen… So… YES! Why dont I go somewhere?? Well, I live in the middle of no where, I commute 40mins to work, 60mins to get groceries… Theres nothing to do in this small town.. not even a town a “village” UGH! I have no friends to visit, they all live out of town…… I just feel so locked up! I NEED something! ANYTHING!

I NEED change!! I just want to get out of this place! Im already tired of my job… been there since October, and its a great job! Pays well and they love me there… But as you all know, get bored easy. Ive never stayed at a job for more than a year. And I just got out of school so I CAN work this job, and I need a change in pace.

I want to live somewhere different, but my husband on the other hand HATES change and doesnt want to move! I just need something! Hobbies dont work. I have so many oil paints, water paints, and have done a painting here and there, but meh. Tired of it. I have a kiln and clay, and clay working tools, but am sick of that too! I animate, but another common frustration of ours, I get AWESOME ideas, start them, get bored and onto the next. I have sooooooo many unfinished cartoons. Go back to them? No… I just cant!

Im just so frustrated that I have all this energy and motivation, yet… at the same time dont know what to do with it, or how to deal with it. Ive now dyed my hair twice in the last month, repainted my kitchen. Bleached my whole house… It just gets me really down. I really need something to work towards. A goal. The moment I make a goal I run as far from it as I can without knowing. If I dont make a goal, I just do it. As soon as I make a list of things I need to do, or something to work towards, it never gets done. I never know where to start, or feel so overwhelmed by the dumbest things and then get bored and move on, then feeling like I never can finish anything and ive wasted my whole day! I understand this is apart of the ADD, and I am on meds (which are not working), but I dont know how to overcome these things! I went to the Mental Health clinic here (well thats 40mins away too) and asked if there are any support groups for adults with ADD or any coaches, and of course there are not (the joys of living in the middle of no where).

I just feel so trapped right now! There are also all these things I could do! Im really good at many things, but where to begin? How to begin? What should I do? How can I do it? I race through all of these thoughts and then just give up. Frustrated that another day has gone to waste… Meanwhile people are on me to finish the things I told them I would. I still need to finish up a logo, a drawing of a buffalo, record some recipes, make a phone call, and much much more… yet I just cant bring myself to do them! For the life of me I cant! Simple things that could be done within hours! Just cant do it. They get frustrated with me, and I am frustrated with myself!

Usually I would just shut down play some video games, watch some videos, browse the net, but even now I am sick of tired of that! Just dont know what to do with myself!

Phew! Sorry this is so long… I just really needed to vent somewhere. Normally I talk with my friends, but of course they dont really understand, and my husband always says “well just do it”. I WISH I could! In order to do something so simple like making the phone call I need to today, it feels like im pulling 1000kgs and it just wont budge!

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[Anonymous]

oh my goodness. you’re me. only a me that actually gets some things done. please come and paint my kitchen, bleach my house, dye my hair, etc….! its not that far to ontario… you can even bring the sun with you if you want (we got cloud)…..

you might wanna try what my mum does to get her school paperwork done- just commit to doing a smidgen of the horrible things for 15 minutes- a quarter of an hour- thats like almost 100th of your day- thats all. pick the horriblest thing on the list….cos its all uphill from there!

then take a deep breath, set a timer (your phone or oven has one, i bet) stretch out, get on your marks, put the old stereo/ipod/musicplayingthingy onto something fast paced and motivating, then get in there, throw yourself at it with all that energy, and do it for 15 minutes- you can stop when the timer sounds. then do something completely different to reward yourself- go for a run, plan how you’re gonna plant the garden in spring, play a level of supermario… whatever.

then do another 15 minutes. and so on.

its gotta get done, this dreadful stuff. once its actually started, it won’t weigh down on your conscience like a 1000kg weight, and you won’t feel guilty or exasperated any more- it’ll be way less daunting, acheivable- it will have lost all power to make you stagnant. you might even find that you get really into it once you’re started, don’t hear the timer, start to enjoy it, and get it all done at once- then you’ll be free! yay! success! get out the soda and icecream, put on your sunnies and flipflops, and have a little coke-float partay in the livingroom to celebrate!

*makes a feeble attempt to follow own advice by prying self off computer chair and away from the internet.*

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[Anonymous]

I so feel this right now too! I am bored with everything in my life right now and want a new adventure RIGHT NOW! No one understands me, especially my husband, who thinks up things to do like watch a movie or go tobogganing, and this doesn’t help! Then he doesn’t understand when I don’t want to do those things. I want to go somewhere warm, but I am stuck in Alberta in -20 weather with cleaning to do (uggg!) and so I sit here being miserable and feeling like a lump! I also hate cold and winter, and I always gain weight, so when spring comes, I feel like a whale when I get the motivation to start exercising again. Any suggestions to alleviate the antsy boredom? The only thing that has helped is going to bed and hoping for a better day tomorrow. That is, when I can sleep!

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[Carrie]

Hahahahaaha yes! Exactly!! I managed to entertain myself with playing my video game again.. some friends came online, so thats kept me mind busy!

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[Carrie]

So happy to say since the Ritalin ive had no feelings of being antsy but actually getting things done and feeling good.

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[laddybug3]

When I feel antsy I usually do so many different things.

1) Run on the tread at speed of 7mph and forget that if I stop the treadmill keeps going. (Did that today only pressed three before I stopped. Just long enough to remind me treadmill won’t stop, because I did) 😯

2) read a book, usually on the tread or those bikes that don’t move :

3) take a walk

4) work on writing my novels (my friends and professor saying one day soon, I should look into a publishing company. Research publishing company and get scared. Go back to working on it. I have decided it my work will never be publish unless someone does it for me.) 💡 :

5) go fishing

6) pick up musical instruments and play 😆 (The smilie moves)

7) knit ❗

play with pets. Take dogs outside for a walk

9) Scream into pillow then have pillow fight with myself (I do that often) 😮

10) Count to 100, very hard todo 😯

11) Write a list of things my future self would do. Daydream my future self doing them. Look at the clock and think wow

That is all I got for now. I have been a little antsy today. Probably doing to many things and then again another day of hyper focusing for three hours, and I got antsy after the fact of hyper focusing for three hours. Oh the smilies are my down fall. They are just so much fun. Uh-oh. I have to feed the pets

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[Anonymous]

Carrie, I just noticed the part about it being cloudy from Oct. on. We are very light sensitive in my family. We get very depressed and grumpy during the winter. I finally bought a “happy light” from Verilux to simulate the sunlight. What do you know–it works!! It at least gets us through those dark days!

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[Carrie]

Ive been thinking about purchasing one… But how much do they cost? SAD does play a role thats for sure!

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[Anonymous]

I live in Newfoundland so I spend a lot of time alone or near few people and these winters really are killing me. It started snowing at the end of Jan and it’s been nothing but storm week after week. It’s all a dry cold out and it’s always full of ice. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself outdoors.

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[Anonymous]

I think the light I bought cost 84.00. You can probably find them more cheaply now. I’ve had it for about 4-5 years

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[Author]

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