Feeling like a failure as an adult

[Anonymous]

Got a ticket for expired tags and no insurance. Got insurance same day, took care of tags next day. Went to court, took care of that, have started making payments on my fine…and today in the mail I get a notice that my license is suspended. *headdesk*

I messed up, I will admit that, but then I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do…now this

Add to that the fact that we just spent $325 on new tires because mine were slick. And Christmas is coming up and I still have people to buy for.

AARRRGH!!!

I feel like a failure as an adult.

I have an appointment with my primary doc for this Friday to talk meds. Am hoping that will help a lot of things.

At least I can look at all of this through the lens of ADHD. It’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

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[Anonymous]

since you did everything yo were supposed to do, you should be able to get your’ license reinstated quickly and for a small fee (in California it’s $25-ish) Same thing happened to me…twice!

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[Anonymous]

I ma 28, I am couch hoping between my dads and my bf’s (who lives with his parents) My job has fallen apart. It’s hanging by threads and every other job before that…there has always been some kind of issue. I got through college but I honestly don’t know how, I owe tons of money in loans, I’m lucky that I still have a car….my relationships with almost everyone in my family are strained..It’s been one thing after another. Things like you have described. My job falling apart $400.00 worth of car repairs, drove around for months before I could get the money, but in that time got a ticket for not having my car inspected, Took me 5 days to get it together enough to go to the garage and not take a million detours and before I know it my day is over, garages are closed. Drove from my dads to the state that I am originally from to have it inspected, they wouldn’t pass it for some minor thing, drove all the way back to my dads state had the garage fix it then drove back and they finally passed it. It’s so confusing…lol….My dad told me that he doesn’t doesn’t understand how I haven’t “Given Up” That I have worked so hard and I have nothing. Living out of someone else’s place, going from place to place, everything is falling apart, some family turning on me, friends forgetting about me….everyone progressing in their lives while I’m trying to sustain some sort of sanity….

After a long road of research and contacting the right people I have been going to counseling and have appointments to talk to someone about meds.

I didn’t share this to say “well, there are people who have it worse” But to let you know that failures are those who “Give up” I’d fight the suspension. You gatta keep fighting. Becuase one thing I’ve learned in all these years is that so many people act like they NEVER mess up…but no one is perfect…people mess up all the time. I know it doesn’t feel ok, but it is. I would totally say “Hey wait a minoute….this isn’t right, please, I did everything i was supposed to.” and if there is one thing that my mom always said to be it’s “Your to hard on yourself”

Hope my rambling helps some.

Thanks

tinylittlroom

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[Anonymous]

Thanks guys. It was simpler than I thought (go figure). I called my insureance company, they sent the SR22 to the state, called the state this morning and they said that was all they needed and I was reinstated. Now I just have to make sure I keep up with my insurance and maintain the SR22 for a year then I am good to go.

I have a doctor’s appointment for Friday to discuss meds, and am hoping that will help some of the issues that caused this whole situation to begin with…*eyeroll*

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[Anonymous]

yay! see,it’s not that hard after all!

You know, it’s a lot harder on us nowwith the economy as it is…when I was making bunches of money, my distraction and disorganization was less visible, becuase I had a bit of a cushion to cover it up when I did things like forget to pay my insurance on time…now, that’s just not possible, *sigh*, and I sure wish I had the $200 to replace my cracked windshield…

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[gforcewarp9]

O.k strugglers:

Do I know where everyone is at! In my 30’s, I was in and out of court for no insurance, suspended licenses because I either couldn’t pay or once I actually forgot, and my licsence is still supsended in the state of Washington because of it. I’ve had a d.u.i (yep, been in the clink for a weekend!) and I’ve been fired from about 95% percent of all my jobs–and yet I have an above average i.q, and there are a number of things people seem to think I’m pretty darn good at, etc-etc. (just like the rest of you) I’ve never done anything of that much note with my talents because I didn’t think I could, and I was always to busy just trying to #$%^&! survive. In the past I’ve lived on couches, a shelter, the street a few times; once I even snuck into someones attic to sleep for two weeks because I had nowhere else to go. Oh, and in my van –though I was kind of a punk gypsy, so this was acceptable in my circle of people. Many times I’d open my fridge only to see mayonaise and bread. I still joke about mayonaise sandwiches. I went through all that and I’m not even a junkie. Now I’m 40, a wife (we’ll see for how much longer) and a mother, and although my marraige may not survive, I have learned so, so much about myself, just trying so hard to be a good wife and a good mother. What I see in so many posts in these forums is how just how damn hard everyone tries. Don’t give up! This isn’t your fault for cryin’ out loud. If I had a dollar for every person who’s ever said to me, “Oh, A.D.D is just an excuse,” or “You’re just using it as an excuse” Firstly, I’d like to slap all of those people, and then I’d like to take their dollar. Everybody I’ve ever known, with A.D.D, including myself, just tries like friggin’ CHAMPIONS as far as I’m concerned. I would lose my third job in a row, some friends would say “why don’t you just go on disabillity,” and I would say no, and I’d start job hunting, again. My life has been job hunting. So don’t give up your fighting spirit. Just, instead of fighting blindly against an invisible enemy, try to get some help.

As a side note, having some routines I do every day helps me remember shit. Every night I write a list of stuff I have to do the next day. I then put important stuff like when all the bills are due into Google Calender, which syncs with my ipod touch app, that rings a very loud alarm when stuff needs to be paid. Right now I’m lucky to have access to a computer and other gadgets, but I used to use my old cell phone’s calender with an alarm on it to remember bills and appointments and all that crap, and I religously used my day planner, and wrote the list at night. In fact, I would spend at least an hour every night going over my week. I stopped doing this for a few years before and especially after I had my baby, (duh, who has time for lists when you have a baby!) but my life disolved back into chaos, so I’ve been trying to get back into the habit. It always feels overwhelming at first, but the more you keep at it, the easier it gets, and the calmer you’ll be. Hope that doesn’t come across as smug. I’m not saying it’s easy, I still struggle, but this routine has helped me.

Keep on keepin’ on everybody

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