Feeling like a roller coaster

[Anonymous]

Diagnosed about 3 weeks ago and been on concerta for the same. I’ve been suffering for months though dealing with depression and anxiety. As soon as I was diagnosed I immediately felt wow that’s a relief now I finally know why I have felt crazy for all these years. I finally had answers. That feeling quickly disappeared about 2 days later and was replaced with anger, why the hell didn’t someone discover this and treat it 30 years ago when I was in school, what opportunities did I miss out on or screw up because of my ADD? The anger didn’t last long either but was replaced with the feeling of being lost, what happens now, where do I go from here, does it ever get better? Now the last week or so I seem to have good days where I actually feel focused get stuff done and feel like everything in my life is going good but more than not I find my thoughts drifting and my brain racing, feeling sorry for myself in short I still feel crazy.

To make matters worse nobody in my family really understands what Im dealing with, my girlfriend is probably my best allie and tries to understand but I find myself hiding some of my feelings from her and saying everything is ok even when they arent because I worry that she will get tired of all of my problems and move on because she has problems of her own. Im supposed to start counselling but despite my phone calls they still havent set up my first appointment which frustrates me because I cant get off sick leave until my doctor says I am able to go back to work. Not that I feel like I can go back to work yet but I need too because money is quickly running low. Some one please tell me its going to get better because I want this roller coaster to at least slow down.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

Tried to commit suicide right before I was diagnosed, in fact the psychiatrist who treated me diagnosed my ADHD. The roller coaster feeling still hasn’t stopped despite being on concerta and seeing a counsellor and have noticed when I get completely overwhelmed I shut down and don’t want to leave the couch, I curl up in the fetal position, wrap myself in a blanket and turn up the television and try to block out all of my thoughts but when I do this I get really down and have noticed that I think of suicide constantly, not really about doing it but almost convincing myself that it’s not the answer, thinking about how it would hurt my family and friends. I go see my doctor tomorrow and am hoping he has some answers for me. It’s weird because I read the messages in this forum and realize that I am not alone and how over the years I built up coping mechanisms to deal with a disorder I didn’t know I had and now that I know what is wrong with me I am constantly second guessing those coping mechanisms. Feeling lost, scared and alone.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts