Feeling over-diagnosed and over-medicated…what to do with diagnosis soup?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, I’m new here…kinda feel like a trespasser because I’ve never been formally diagnosed with ADHD. But I’m posting anyway, because I really need some insight, advice, anything.

A few years ago a learning psychologist said I had ADD “secondary to depression,” i.e., once I fix the depression, then the inattention, lack of focus, procrastination, etc. will all go away too. I’m not sure about that.

I’m in a treatment program at a mental health centre and have just been “formally” diagnosed with depression, social anxiety, and PTSD. They also think I have sub-clinical OCD. But a different psychiatrist said he thinks my energetic bursts of organizing are manic periods and I’m bipolar. I’m pretty sure that all these diagnostic boxes are meaningless and that diagnosis depends more on who you see than what you actually “have”.

I’ve been through about 13 meds now (mostly antidepressants) and am currently taking 4. Psychiatrist keeps piling them on and has just added an antipsychotic, which makes me feel like shit. I’ve been in therapy for nearly 10 years. I am just feeling totally overwhelmed with all this “treatment” that doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Sometimes I think it just makes everything worse. I’ve been off work for a year trying to find the right meds because constantly changing my brain chemistry made me so unwell.

I grew up in an abusive home and I’ve been depressed and anxious my entire life because of it. I think the child abuse wired my brain screwy and I don’t know what I would have been like had I not had to experience that. I was always the quiet kid with her nose in a book, always a daydreamer, creative, living inside my own head, slow to get moving for anything. I loved school and got straight As (except gym, always a C), but as I got older and my mental health started tanking, my grades tanked too. I think if people knew then what we know now, I’d probably have been diagnosed as inattentive subtype.

I have a lot of trouble with concentration, motivation, memory, procrastination, going to bed early, waking up on time, getting out the door on time, I’m late for everything, I lose track of time so easily, I go on hyper-focused organizing sprees sometimes but my apartment is total chaos, I start lots of things and never finish them, I always have a zillion web pages open at once…etc. etc.

A lot of these can be attributed to depression, and I’m definitely depressed, so how do I figure out a proper diagnosis? How can I tease apart everything that’s going on here so I can find the right treatment?

Because I can’t keep on with this so called “treatment”. I feel way over-medicated; I feel like absolute shit. The drugs make me feel literally stupid. I just want to sort out my brain so I can finish my masters degree, get my job back, get my life back.

Any ideas?

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[Anonymous]

Hello, I too am new here, after reading this, I have to reply.

I was first diagnosed as a kid age 5. My mom put me on Ritalyn (sp). 12 years, it’s a wonder I’m not addicted to drugs. After a long time, and needing answers for the odd thing that just seemed to happen. I made a appointment with a head doc pHD. She diagnosed me as being bi-polar. The cocktail of drugs made me into a zombie. After 2-3 months my cycling would end with a trip to the hospital. Phycotic break, attempted suicide. My last attemp, I took 92 thorozine. I did not succeed. I looked for help, the drugs, to me, I thinkwas making me worse. In the Washington DC area, the National Institute of Mental Health, I took part in a study, 2 years, took me off the drugs, monitored my ups and downs, charted them, changed my diet. To my surprise my illness got easier to manage, without the drugs. I still don’t sleep as I should, I still have racing thoughts, still can do multitasking on a maniac scale. I actually like my mania. I really think, it’s being more aware and in-tune with me, that is the key.

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