Finally…

[Anonymous]

A few years ago I was finally diagnosed with ADD. I am 52 years old.

Years of underachievement, various careers, failure, doing just what I enjoy l, procrastinating… The diagnosis was a relief. I am a schoolbook example of all the symptoms and impairments.

The documentary was so refreshing. Yes, that’s me, totally. and this leaves me angry, really. So what if I interrupt, I am not a great listener, I never shut up, I toss and turn at night. I never finish a task. My taxes are always late. True.. But that is my genes. Does the world stigmatize diabetics? So why have I always been stigmatized? yes, I am angry. I am not stupid, lazy or crazy.

And relieved. The people I saw on the documentary, and on WNED, are just like me. Not being alone is good. Wow. Great program, and perhaps even life changing.

I’ll be more open now with people about ADD. No more hiding.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

I’m glad that you now realize that there has been a reason for some of the issues and problems that you’ve been dealing with for the last 52 years. It’s good to know that you weren’t intentionally doing some of these things that have perhaps been driving you or others crazy.

Just remember that although we don’t stigmatize diabetics for being diabetic, we don’t applaud them if they ignore trying to keep their blood sugar levels/insulin levels under control.

Likewise, knowing we have issues is a bonus for us! Once we’re aware of some of the reasons we are always ‘messing up’ on things at work or in our home life, we’re supposed to try to do something about it.

I’m not saying that we have to go crazy and try to make ourselves perfect but we can’t just ignore problems once we’re aware of them. I look at knowing I have ADHD as empowering. Now I’ve got the power to make some changes for the good in my life. I’ll still have problems but doesn’t everybody? I think a lot of us are guilty of feeling ‘poor old me’ when in fact, everybody has something they are dealing with but often times, we’re just unaware of the ‘burdens’ they are carrying around.

I don’t often tell people I have ADD/ADHD. It’s not really there buisness and usually they have a very poor understanding of what it is all about. (SOMETIMES, I give people the spiel to better inform them but that is on a case by case situation.)

I use my knowledge of ADHD and its effects to empower me so that I might take better actions. I don’t use my ADHD as a reason I can’t, I won’t be able to, will not succeed, might have problems, better not get involved, ….. you can see what I’m getting at. I’m responsible for me and for ALL of my actions. My ADHD is nothing to be angry about. It’s just part of me.

It’s probably prevented me from achieving a lot of the things I had dreamed about doing and goals that I had for my life but, hey! Life isn’t over for me yet! I’m still planning on accomplishing some great things tomorrow!

You will not need to hide because you ARE NOT stupid, laxy or crazy. We’re just people who find it a bit harder to get merged safely into the fast lane without hitting every car we meet in the collectors! Ah, isn’t life grand??.

REPORT ABUSE

[Anonymous]

True enough, zsazsa. But I am not going to be feeling bad about being who i am. I can work on some things. But I think perhaps there are also some that I may not work on. I’m OK being who I am, in many ways – more than before the diagnosis. ADD is not an excuse for anything, I quite agree. But it is a reason. In that sense, the diagnosis is cathartic. Why must everyone be the same? Work for hours on the same thing? Stay silent while watching a movie? Happily stand in line? Be good at filling out tax forms on time? I happen t be ba at those. But good at other things.

REPORT ABUSE

[Wgreen]

Hey Oakville…

Welcome to the club.

You are right, there is some catharsis that comes with a diagnosis. You feel like some of the puzzle pieces begin to fit together. But I suspect diagnosis is just a “mile marker” for most of us. Soon, relief at finally knowing what’s going on can give way to confusion. There is, unfortunately, no real epistemology of ADD. It upends so many notions we (and others) have about life, theology, philosophy, our own self-worth, so many things. And it’s often difficult to find something meaningful to fill the void. That exhilarating “ah-ha” moment can be followed at some point by the deeply unsettling sense that our neurological realities have overwhelmed our hopes and dreams.

You’ll read here and on other sites how different people respond to that. Everybody has an opinion. And there’s no consensus that I can discern. (Hey, Buddhists would argue that dreams, success, and desires are all vanities anyway.)

In any event, some seem to have little problem muddling through—an adjustment here, another there. Then there are people who find some relief with medications and therapy. But there are others for whom understanding ultimately leads to an even deeper sense of frustration and alienation. You sound like you’ve got the-glass-is-half-full attitude. Good luck.

REPORT ABUSE

[sdwa]

Oakville – I hear you. I’ve always felt like an alien visitor from another world, but since I was an artist, I didn’t let non-conformity bother me too much, as there is some built in license to be weird for creatives. When I got the diagnosis, it didn’t mean that much to me, because they (doctors, therapists) didn’t spend much time educating me about the condition – they don’t really do that here. So I scoped around on my own for a while, but the classic books didn’t give me much of a sense of what living with ADHD means experientially, on the level of day-to-day functioning. It wasn’t until I recently got into a support group with other people who have it that I began to appreciate how typical and ingrained are certain challenges for people with ADHD. In a book or in medical terms, it can be pretty dry and vague – I mean, what’s executive function? Not very relatable. But in a room full of people who are chronically late, can’t shift into high gear unless they’re under deadline pressure, find themselves buried under mountains of clutter, procrastinate on paperwork and bills, lose their stuff, are smart but underachieving, etc…I realized that this is not just an abstract, clinical diagnosis – it’s a real impairment which has affected all aspects of my life. This takes a lot of the guilt out of being me – like why I can’t remember what I’ve read, why I keep making the same mistakes over and over, why I can’t handle money, why I take crazy risks and get myself into difficult situations, why I can’t manage my moods, and so on. Understanding the true nature of the problem (i.e. not just being an irresponsible, self-centered jerk) means being able to begin to look at setting up external support that can actually help. I think it’s good to understand what goes on in the ADHD brain because that helps put the challenges into perspective. How to work around them? Not sure yet, but have a few ideas.

Oh, and check this out: A book called Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman, pioneer in the field of positive psychology. He writes, “I do not believe that you should devote overly much effort to correcting your weaknesses. Rather, I believe that the highest success in living and the deepest emotional satisfaction comes from building and using your signature strengths.” (He has a section on identifying strengths, too.)

WGreen – I just wanted to tell you, a few days back you posted an Albert Camus quote about needing to imagine Sisyphus as a happy guy, and I thought that was perfect. I’m now using it as my email signature.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts