FINALLY!! Diagnosed this week

[RitaFaye]

Hey everyone!! I was thrilled to find this site, and it helped pushed me to get a diagnosis. I’m 43 years old, and was diagnosed Tuesday and started Ritalin on Wednesday. They’re having me start at a low dose and ramp up, but I’m already feeling the difference!

Here’s the back story (long, sorryy). My brain has always been running on high speed. Tons of information, ideas, deep thoughts, silly stuff, random info, etc. I have an extremely high IQ, and I excelled in school. I managed because of my IQ and my ability to speed read. Also, my parents had really high expectations, and I did not want to disappoint them. And I was competing with my also extremely bright, but non-ADHD older sister, so I had lots of incentive to excel.

The only problem was, I daydreamed through most of my life. I’m inattentive type, and without the hyperactivity and with the good grades, I was written off as “eccentric.” I struggled socially though–I was bullied from 3rd grade until high school graduation.I went to college, had fun, did well, and got a degree I’m not using. I do remember a friend telling me I talked in “ellipses.” She found it frustrating.

Also met a wonderful guy and got married after graduation. He was the exact opposite of ADHD. An engineer, naturally organized, efficient, linear thinker, etc. The true blessing was we complemented each other. He took care of the stuff like repairs and bills, and I made sure we did stuff like vacations and parties. Son was diagnosed as ADHD in 3rd grade. My niece had already been diagnosed. As I was reading up on stuff to help him, I recognized him, but also myself.

So again, things went on fairly well. Son on medication, doing pretty well in school, etc.

Then in 2005, we got hit with a sledgehammer. DH was diagnosed with myelodysplasia (pre-leukemia). In 2006 he went into full-blown leukemia, and passed away in 2007. I managed for awhile, but was getting more and more tired and stressed. I was put on an antidepressant and an antianxiety. I was also tested for ADHD, but they used those stupid peer assessment sheets. No one believed I was ADHD because I’m not hyper. So no diagnosis.

In 2010 I was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea, which helped some. Then that fall, it go worse. I had been a part-time secretary for years with a good company. I worked with a full-timer. Layoffs were done, and she was laid off. So in January 2011 I had to go full-time. Last year was the pits. By the end of last year I was a basket case. I was behind at work for the first time ever. Home was just as big of a mess. (And there’s a clue–extremely high IQ and I work as a secretary and can’t keep up.)

A psychiatrist and ADHD friend had recommended a psychiatrist who specializes in adult ADHD. So two weeks ago I called. He’s not on our new insurance plan, but I didn’t care. My primary doc wouldn’t recommend a consult because “you’re depressed because your husband died.” Yeah, 5 YEARS AGO!! According to the psychiatrist, I’m a classic case and it should have been recognized before now. Hallelujah!! I did tell my boss, who couldn’t believe it but accepted it. And my parents are okay with it too.

Anyways, glad to be here and good to meet everyone!

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[Tiddler]

Good to have you on board. Well done for fighting for your diagnosis. I’m sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like he was a lovely man.

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[kc5jck]

Welcome RitaFaye – I used to think I didn’t have the hyperactivity portion of ADHD until I saw that the hyperactivity changes over time from the “classic” physically hyperactive preteen to expressing itself such as having multiple unfinished projects, hobbies, always busy type.

So for example, adult hyperactivity sounds like this: I have several different types of paint purchased and waiting on different painting projects (some for years), engine and parts for several cars I own needing work (like at least seven – no eight), four or five radio controlled model planes awaiting assembly, piles of books to be read, videos to watch, tequila for margaritas I plan to mix up, …… remind you of anyone?

I think the tequila project will get completed first. Then there’s that project with the Meyers Dark Jamacian Rum.

Stardate 2455982.6431

Oh, and then there’s the record collection, the duet concertina I want to relearn, the drawings from yacht design school, and oh yes those five model ships I bought several years ago which I can put out after I get cases made and clean up the room where I want to display them, after I get that old computer going so I can play Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffa, ……………

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[kc5jck]

…………….. and there’s the overflow of junk from our house that we took to my son’s house a year ago last month that we were going to have a garage sale, but never sat and organized things for the sale, and how did we end up with eleven cats, which would be twelve if we hadn’t given away Mistopholese ………

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[Anonymous]

Hello, nice to meet you RitaFaye! Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your story.

I’m wishing you well and glad it’s been getting better for you!

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[Scattybird]

Hello RitaFaye

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read of the sadness you have had to deal with, but pleased you have a diagnosis now.

I was recently diagnosed as primarily inattentive. I am very inattentive – my psych thinks all my unfinished projects are due to my inattention rather than hyperactivity as mentioned by kc. But I think in my case it’s because I drift off and don’t get around to finishing rather than dynamically starting something new. On saying that I can’t sit still in meetings unless I have something to fidget with so I think I have a bit of the hyper in me. It wasn’t picked up when young so officially I am not hyperactive. When I queried my psychs conclusions she said that although I am primarily inattentive I also show some ‘symptoms’ in the other categories.

I do have the impulsive stuff going on though and that manifests itself by me being a drama queen and bad tempered. Caper helped me understand that part and I am grateful for that because I hadn’t really grasped that aspect before.

Sorry – don’t want to sound self-indulgent talking about myself but just trying to illustrate we all have different versions of it and we all have different quirks as a result.

Good luck with getting yourself on track again.

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[ashockley55]

Congratulations on your diagnosis! Isn’t that kinda weird? ha ha, that we congratulate each other on our diagnosis, but, after struggling for so long feeling stupid, etc. it really is an achievement, especially with what all we have to go through to find someone to hear us and not dismiss us or misdiagnose us. I’m in the middle of that now, trying to get someone to hear me, so I’m happy for you that you got someone to hear you. Also, I’m learning from every time I read about someone getting diagnosed that a specialist really does seem to be the way to go. It seems that many psychiatrists are trained to see nearly every other psychiatric diagnosis in an adult man or woman before they see ADHD.

Anyhoo, congrats, and I hope you continue to make much progress and have many more revelations come your way.

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[Anonymous]

Hi RitaFaye! Welcome! I joined here a couple of weeks ago and find it a great site. Ah, what a relief to find people who understand!

So sorry to hear that your husband died. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship. So often the super organized ones cannot wrap their heads around what we’re like.

I’m inattentive type too. I don’t daydream as much as I used to, but I think some daydreaming is a good thing. I think it feeds my creativity. I’m not sure what you mean by “talking in ellipses”. I know I zip from subject to subject and I know when I’m doing it again because of the baffled look on people’s faces as they try to follow. (What is the matter with them??) It’s taken me awhile to recognize that look.

I leave a trail of unfinished projects in my wake. (One of the reasons I hung my quilt on my wall – ok I got someone to hang it – is that I am so proud that I finished it.) Just looking around me know, I see 3 fun things that I bought the stuff fo months ago and they are still sitting on the dining room table. Also within sight is my stack of reading for school (motoring aklong through that at impressive pace on my new med Strattera) and the books/articles for my 3 overdue papers. To say nothing of the huge number of dust bunnies that need to be captured and sent packing. There is always something more appealing to do.

I was diagnosed about 2 years ago and have tried a few different meds, kind of late in life – I’m 51 now. I am also planning to enroll in yoga. Soon.

Congrats on finding someone who took you seriously. All the best!

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[RitaFaye]

Nice to meet everyone!!

kc–I am the queen of unfinished projects. Mostly needlecraft–I quilt, cross-stitch, embroider, and crochet. I also sculpt in poly clay. Haven’t done much the last 2 years since I felt guilty doing it while Rome (the house) burned. LOL.

I was never hyper as a child; in fact I was quite the opposite. My sister told me last night that I hid it well. It runs in my family; I’m the fourth confirmed diagnosis I know of and there are definitely signs in some others. I think my projects are due to unable to maintain attention on one long enough to finish. And onced I finishe the hard part, getting it framed or mounted or hemmed, etc. is another story.

Bella–I think ellipses means it takes a long time for me to get to a point as I meander through the finer side points along the way. Most of my family talks like this. And yes my husband was a lovely man. I don’t think he ever really got the way my brain operates, but he did love me. Although he often commented that “Freud would have loved to study you.” And my reply was “My job is to keep you from having a boring life.”

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[quizzical]

Welcome, RitaFaye! Your back story reads a lot like mine – until the sledgehammer part. I’m so sorry about your husband – I can’t imagine what that must have been like, but of course it’s human nature to try, especially since your husband sounds very much like mine: engineer, linear, logical, and so on. I rely on him for so much that it is truly scary to think what I’d do without him.

I can only hope he feels I’m contributing something positive in return; that he likes the un-boring that I bring to the table. I sometimes worry I’m the personification of the old Chinese curse, the one that goes “May you live in interesting times.” The other day I felt compelled to begin my response to “how was your day?” with, “Well, you’re getting the story version, so pretend it’s really interesting.”

I’m so glad you got through all the hoops to get to your diagnosis. Your primary care doctor’s dismissive comment made me crazy on your behalf. Even if he thought it was depression, five years of depression is not OK! Glad you didn’t take that for an answer.

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[Anonymous]

Ok RitaFaye – then I talk in ellipses a lot. *Someone* has called it “jabbering” during one of his less understanding moments. My brother does it far worse than I do, but OH NO, he has NOT got ADHD!! Basically if someone asks a simple question ie. What time would you like to leave the house? I can’t simply give the *someone* at time – I must go into great and elaborate detail about all the things that must be accomplished in order for me to leave the house. It’s not that annoying when I do it – because I am not annoyed, but it’s terrible when big bro does it! lol

As for the unfinished projects, I put all my polymer clay on Freecycle and took the unopened counted cross stitch projects to the Sally Anne. They can be someone else’s guilt trip now.

I was never hyper either. The idea of me bouncing off walls is preposterous. I would have been to afraid of someone noticing me.

Gee, I’d better go finish tomorrow’s sermon now.

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