Finally it all makes sense, and I knew it already…

[Anonymous]

Watched “ADD and loving it!” last night and it all made sense. Not being able to understand what I read, addictions, starting tasks and not finishing them, working 24/7, thinking faster than I can talk (but not stopping)………..

I worked on a computer software project in 2000 to 2002 where I worked every waking hour I could. I found I was unable to sleep as thoughts and ideas would not go stop. At the end of the project, I was mentally and physically exhausted and decided to do something about it. I had the idea that it might be ADD, so visited a shrink to confirm. He concluded that I was a depressed alcoholic with early onset dementia, and prescribed Wellbutrin. I could do a Cruise and vilify the psychiatric profession now, but I just can’t be bothered.

I have always had panic attacks, and recently added anxiety to the list now that my breathing has gotten worse.

My mood has improved now I believe that I am not demented (yet), and really happy that the documentary was pretty much talking about me. I have spent 5 years or so attending AA meetings and following their 12 step program. I now realize that I have more similarities with ADD than I did with AA. The time was not wasted as I now follow Taoist philosophy and have a fit myself to the universe approach to life.

This is just part of the adventure, and there is more to come. For now there are other things to do around here so….later

D

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[ipsofacto]

David, do you meditate as part of your Taoism? If so, how do you find it affects your anxiety?

Also have you had any success with improving mindfulness through meditation?

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[Bill]

Could you describe how Taoism has helped? This sounds intriguing. I am fascinated by Zen Buddhism.

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[Anonymous]

ipsofacto,

I do not have a schedule for meditation, I can recognize when I wander too far off my Path. I then randomly open one of my Taoist texts, read and contemplate on it. The effect, in me, brings me right back to sanity. It is similar to driving a car and going into a skid, steer into it, and everything straightens up. I have not used meditation to address specific feelings but more for general malaise, and for that it works for me.

I started this reply about 5 hours ago, I will meditate on the remainder and post again when I have something to say. My initial thought was that my Taoism is holistic so that if mindfulness is needed then my Path will contain it therefore meditation would aid its attainment. I also feel that mindfulness is Boolean, either we are aware of our thoughts and the present moment, or we are not.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Dear David,

Our editor/web wizard/jack of all trades Jimi saw your posting and let Ava and I know about it.

Ava just read it aloud to me. I’m sitting here with moist eyes.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Doing videos and a website is odd in a way. We work, sometimes seven days a week, and don’t stop long enough to know if what we are doing is making a difference. So what you’ve written feels like a standing ovation that never ends. I love that you are not going to let anger, regret or frustration over your mis-diagnosis in the past, stop you.

You might, if you find the time and feel strong enough, let your doctor know it’s not onset dementia. That doctor may dismiss you, as most people do, or maybe he will learn something. There are still thousands of medical professionals who don’t get that this is real. And of course hundreds of millions of ‘civilians’ who think, “It’s just a convenient excuse to be lazy.”

Anyway, that aside, I also know that in our quest to find out information about ADHD we ADDers can become a bit self-absorbed, hyper focused on our ADHD, and we forget to acknowledge the people who are helping us find our way.

On behalf of myself, and Ava and Jimi, and all the others who have made the film, thanks.

Rick Green

(The guy in the film who doesn’t have the goatee)

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[Anonymous]

Rick,

No no no THANK YOU for doing what your doing!

One thing AA taught me is to look for the similarities. That way you know you are in the right place, and at this moment in time this is the place for me. It becomes irrelevant what you call it, I call mine George, the shared problem and the tested solution is what we seek. My George sounds a lot like your ADD, so I want to know what I can learn from your experience.

We are in the middle of a global revolution fueled by the internet and social media, so a website is exactly the place to be.

I would love to help out with the education of the medical profession but I have very little faith in any of them. I am my own primary holistic care provider as I am the only one without any possible conflict of interest.

The chest pains I had at age 11 occurred for no reason the Drs could find, so I had to suffer with it. Probably anxiety. I mean, how difficult was that?

The aforementioned dementia.

The Universe only gives us what we can handle, my problem has been not seeing that earlier.

A couple of years ago, my wife and I put our house on the market for sale in Florida and RV’d back to Kansas City, MO, where we bought an abandoned property with the idea of renovating it. (Remember I have ADD but I do not know it for sure) We have leaky pipes, every incarnation of electric wiring, no heat, no cooling, leaky windows, mold in the ‘finished’ basement, etc. you get the idea.

I cleared out the ‘finished’ part of the basement, replaced all the plumbing, new water heater, and a bit more. Then it kinda hit me the enormity of it all and I just imploded. I have worked on seeking ways to progress, e.g. I told my wife that if she started a project around the house, I would, by nature, jump in and show her how to do it properly, then ( and here’s the key) she slopes off and leaves me to it.

Without a thread to wind around, I’m just a loose end.

Is this what you mean be getting close to the edge, or being over it?

I believe I will find tools here that I can add to my arsenal to continue to where the Universe is leading (perhaps enlightenment ).

David

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[Anonymous]

Bill,

I am not ignoring your question. I am mulling it over. Although I had ADD prior to finding Taoism, I did not know it for sure, so I am having to think how they have worked together in my ignorance. I label myself a Zen Taoist and include the teachings of the Dalai Lama.

David – Still thinking.

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[ipsofacto]

David, Thanks for the reply. I found relief from anxiety in meditation, and I then put other life improvements down to the reduced anxiety. What I am now beginning to understand is that much of those improvements came from the practice and control of focus during meditation; and some other mindfulness rich activities. For sure though, anxiety greatly exacerbates ADD symptoms.

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[Bill]

My experience is similar to ipsofacto’s, except that the vehicle for me was hypnosis. In practice, meditation, guided visualization, mindfulness and hypnosis overlap to a large extent.

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[Anonymous]

The key is to find the key.

Cause and effect, dominos, and chinese whispers.

Alcoholism explained much of me, but not all. ‘Twas easy for the shrinks, my problem (effect) was addiction (cause). My question was “why me and not everyone else?”, i.e. what caused the addiction? That’s easy too, it’s genetic. That was the end of the story except I was doing everything recommended. I’m not drinking, but I still don’t feel normal.

During treatment, I did discover that Science had identified a portion of the brain that was different in addicts, although all addicts are not of the heredity type. I, unfortunately, did not have the resources to confirm this though medical scan.

So perhaps my addiction is an effect caused by something else. Voila ADD (hopefully). Now I am guessing that my ADD is genetic, as I see symptoms in my mother, sister and nephews, none of whom are addicts.

I, temporarily, gain control of focus in the morning by doing the crossword and suduko. I then watch avian bath time in the front yard.

One thing taoism helps me with is the future. Forget about it, the Path is the path, as long as I am near it I am fine (and not the AA FINE). 12 step programs have additional similar mantras,

Make a plan. You don’t have to follow it, you just need to have it.

Feel the fear, but do it anyway.

You are where you are supposed to be.

Ya know I am so happy to have ADD, as opposed to what “they” said I had, Alcoholism with early onset dementia. Who came up with the idea of a disease where if you admit it you have it but if you do not admit it then you are in denial about having it. heads they win, tails you lose. So the only folk that are not addicts are the ones who have never been asked the question. So glad to be out of that loop.

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[Robbo]

FINE = fouled up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. Just in case a few of you guys didn’t know that one.

It’s good to see people with ADHD willing to take on meditation. Anyone with a busy mind can be helped from meditation. There are plenty of great books too. We can find a way to taylor some of the different approaches to meditation to our ADD/ADHD brains. It’s a wonderful thing to have an open mind about this.

Be here now (wherever it is you’re at…) That’s meditation in the simplest language. Possible the smartest way for me to practice it. Maybe you too.

My first book on Meditation was by a Hindu named Eknath Eswaran, simply called “Meditation” He told a story about how a mantra works. In India they have had parades with elephants for years n years. At first there was a problem with the elephant helping itself to fruit and vegetable carts along the way. So they gave it a big log to carry. The trunk was busy, so it left peoples food alone. Our minds imagination is like the trunk, but we’re in charge of the mind/trunk. Give our mind a mantra, it will stray, gently allow the distraction to come and go, fighting it is not always the best solution. Instead, allow it to exist, not fighting it is the same as not encouraging it. Or letting it have any more of your attention than it has already taken. Dismiss it. Gently bring the mind back to your mantra.

Check out Dr. Jain blogs on “Mantra Words”. They’re great.

There are many approaches to meditation. I don’t always have to be sitting Indian style to do it correctly. It’s important to remember that the results come very slowly, so not giving up helps tons. It’s a lot of work taming our ADHD brain. It’s not failure if this becomes too frustrating and you decide to take a break. This is just one of many tools we use here.

Thanks for reminding me to pick back up one of the best spiritual tools I’ve been able to use on my road of happy destiny. The problems I’ve been faced with lately could have been less painful if I remembered to be more committed to meditation every morning.

I have been helped yet again just by coming to this site. Thanks gang.

Keep coming back David, this place works too

6-20-12

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[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone,

I had an epiphany.

I have been mulling over what Bill asked [Could you describe how Taoism has helped?], and discussing things with my wife, when I realized I could not think of the name of the Taoist book, though I remember Lao Tzu “wrote” it. That led me to ask “where are my books?”. Then it struck me.

We have been in this house for nearly 2 years and I have been working on fixing it up, and have NOT READ ANY OF MY BOOKS. This would explain why I was doing reasonably well then suddenly imploding. I guess I forgot. I now have another Bill to thank for his guidance 😆(Bill W, being the other one).

We have been moving stuff about, clearing space to paint one bedroom whilst filling up another with boxes of books. My wife, Carolyn, thought she had seen my Tao books, but they were probably buried deep. No matter, we’ll find them at some point.

This morning I walked into the (now) storage room, and presto there they are on the desk. Tao Teh Ching, Hua Hu Ching, The second book of Tao, The art of war, The Tibetan book of the dead, Bible code 3, The Maya, and Back to Basics.

AND then, I’m sitting on the bed waiting for my coffee to go ping in the microwave, look up and notice one of the calenders on the wall which has in big letters “FOCUS”, and below that “Try to avoid looking forward or backward and try to keep looking upward”.

I wandered too far off of the Path, and the Universe guided my back to it. This kind of thing happens to me over and over again, and I still get goosebumps, think ‘WOW’, and shed tears of joy.

I want to write a piece about how and why I chose Taoist philosophy. It could get verbose, so best type it off-line first. It is funny that the Tau Teh Ching is 81 short verses, one for each year Tao Tzu spent in the womb, and my text is bound to be longer.

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[ipsofacto]

looking forward to reading that David.

It took about eighteen years for the lapse in maintaining my well being practices to make my situation bad enough for a change to happen. In a way I’m glad it did because not only has it allowed me to understand my past, but has opened up many avenues for personal growth in the future. Those eighteen years were not wasted and the balance sheet for that period has more black ink than red.

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[Robbo]

Good idea,

Writing is an excellent thing some of us need to do to find out what the truth is. I almost always copy n paste my posts for here into a text editor, if they get past 6 or 7 lines. That’s the only way I can make sense, and organize my thoughts. Sometimes it works…

Lot’s of what I write never ends up on this site any more. I do it to keep learning, and to keep all the new tricks I’m learning fresh in my brain.

It’s also a good idea to “Give it away to keep it”‘ There’s a cool book by Chuck C. called “A New Pain Of Glasses” He’s an old timer, knew Bill W. and really knew how to share his experience rather than “tell” us how to live. He’s real cool, talks about “The Carpenter” a lot, and says super good stuff about how our Ego hurts our life etc. I got it from my 1st sponsor in july 89, I don’t call myself an alcoholic any more. But I don’t drink either. Your talking about “The Tao” reminded me of watching old bits and pieces of that show “Kung Fu” on youtube, not all that long ago. I’m a little skittish about posting links, so… Run a search on youtube for

The Tao of Kung Fu #1 – “Fear is the only darkness.”

I’ve got a huge folder in my bookmarks just called “Tao” Thanks for the reminder.

I’m a Christian now. That’s where all my spiritual search has lead me. You’ve got your own path to follow. Hope it keeps working for ya.

Peace

6-21-12

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[Robbo]

Rats! I goofed again… lol

That book is called “A new pair of glasses” I bet lot’s of you guys figured out the typo. I was almost late, so I rushed through the editing and whooshed out the door. I made it on time though!!! ***High five*** Thank you! thank you ***bowing, graciously accepting applause*** I hope someone gets a lil snicker outa this.

doh!

Brain flatulence is not a crime! I shall not beat up on myself.

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[Author]

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