The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Self Medicating/Risk Taking › Finally off nicotine after 28-1/2 years!!!
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September 23, 2011 at 3:09 pm #89671
AnonymousInactiveSeptember 23, 2011 at 3:09 pmPost count: 14413…and my negative ADD symptoms are much-improved, believe it or not.
I’m 47 and I started smoking in the spring of 1983. I spent over 13 years on cigarettes, eight years on unfiltered “cigarillos” and over seven years on nicotine replacement therapy.
My best estimate is that the habit has cost me $25,000. Wouldn’t you like to have a mattress stuffed with dollar bills?
Just before midnight on September 15th, I finally gave up nicotine for good.
What I’ve discovered is that for me, Nicotine was the same as Popeye’s spinach. No matter what situation I found myself in, nicotine gave me the strength to confront it. It was my super-power. Whether it was social, professional, emotional highs or lows, nicotine was the first thing I wanted.
Most of all, nicotine is what I THOUGHT helped me to focus and get the job done. This is day #8 for me, and I’m doing just fine without it, thank you very much. If anything, the highs and lows of nicotine were an impairment to my concentration and temperament. What I was really seeking was an elusive “nicotine equilibrium,” or that small window when everything felt just right… It doesn’t really exist.
Just something to consider–the legal drugs we use to self-medicate are probably just making our ADD symptoms worse.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 24, 2011 at 1:42 pm #104730HIGH FIVE!!!!
REPORT ABUSESeptember 16, 2013 at 12:44 pm #121845Just something to consider–the legal drugs we use to self-medicate are probably just making our ADD symptoms worse.
If the “legal drug” is booze, then it definitely makes ADHD symptoms worse. Our “inhibition filter” isn’t working well at the best of times. Alcohol removes what few inhibitions we have, remarkably quickly.
I’d much rather be nervous but with my wits about me, than super-confident but blitzed & helpless.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 16, 2013 at 2:21 pm #121852I don’t smoke but have used nicotine gum/lozenges from time to time, usually when I’m really depressed. Helps me get through the day, yes. But always felt like crap after.
I never drank much but didn’t really have an issue with inhibition when I did. Might have something to do with who I was with at the time. Or just the simple fact that it required massive amounts of alcohol to get me drunk and I usually never really got there.
September 17, 2013 at 9:12 am #121887Yay, I quit for good too. back in March. I got really sick (with the flu-in my lungs) I honestly though that this is what dying feels like. If I ever got lung cancer that is what it would be like. Have not smoked a cigarette since. I thought I would never be able to do it, especially since my hubby still does. but it doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s funny because he is 34 and he lies to his family. They think he is smoke free. I am so glad I don’t have that burden anymore.
I do however miss inhaling the smoke. just at that right peaceful time. but I don’t believe I am addicted to the nicotine anymore. I do feel the medication is relieving those urges.
Good for you. If you need any support. PM me.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 19, 2013 at 10:58 am #121935First of all, congrats on quitting. Cigarettes are such a powerful addiction. It’s tough.
My mom is 90 and only quit when she moved into a retirement home and couldn’t smoke.
Interesting what you write Jojosephine, about the ‘right peaceful time’.
In our new video on self-medicating with Marijuana Gina Pera tells of watching Mad Men and noticing how everyone smokes. They just did back in the 50’s.
What I’d noticed and mentioned to Ava is that the characters on Mad Men tend to light up when they’re confronted by something, upset, frustrated, need to sort out thoughts, angry, or whatever.
Never when they’re happy. (Not that the characters are ever particularly happy.) Okay, yes, after sex they smoke. Never understood that one. Maybe it’s the thing about guys needing to gather their thoughts after sex. It’s some kind of physiological thing, apparently. Women want to be held, guys tend to need a minute. The theory I recall reading about was that it’s a holdover from the Hunter-Gatherer days, when the male would have to switch his focus from his lady friend to quickly scan for lions, tigers, and bears.
Boy, I love watching where my brain takes me.
Anyway, Gina talks about the self medicating that was going on, way back when no one knew what ADHD was, in kids, or in adults.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 19, 2013 at 7:29 pm #121942oh ya before I lit up a cigarette everything had to be just right. I needed a beverage (not necessarily alcohol, just something wet). I needed to be not to warm or cold. The lighting had to be just right. I think I knew that one day I would never have a cigarette again. Almost like I needed to enjoy every one like it would be the last.
I never realized how much other people needed as a quick fix stress reliever. I did always think it was strange my husband needed to pull over on the way up to the cottage for a smoke. Wouldn’t he rather get up there sit on the deck, over look the sunset reflecting off the lake, and then have a nice smoke and a drink?
REPORT ABUSESeptember 19, 2013 at 8:20 pm #121944That actually makes a lot of sense, since nicotine is a stimulant. It would be a relaxing, calming thing for someone with ADHD.
My husband also can’t drive any distance without stopping for a smoke. When we’re out shopping if we’re in the store too long he starts getting agitated, reminding me of the time and saying how we need to get going. And if I ignore him in a few minutes he’ll tell me he’s going out for a smoke.
I have always thought that the smoking after sex thing has to do with the depletion of nicotine in the system from physical exertion. But I don’t smoke so I don’t really know.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 20, 2013 at 7:17 am #121951It also took me a lot longer to smoke a cigarette. If I was every having a smoke with someone, they would just suck that thing back so fast. Most of the time I would have to, sadly, end my smoke time halfway through.
I find that my husband is always in a hurry to go and I know the underlying reason because he needs a smoke, always. I am so glad I don’t have that dependency on cigarettes. It really can make you an undesirable person.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 20, 2013 at 7:44 am #121952Congrats @jojosephine. I forgot to say that before. It’s always a happy day when another smoker becomes an ex-smoker. 🙂
I don’t mind the crankiness. I just wish he’d quit for the sake of his health. And mine. He’s not allowed to smoke in the house but he does smoke in the car and refuses to stop no matter how much I cough and sputter and glower at him. At one point I even said to him “you know I could die because of your smoke.” hoping that would shock him into butting out. It didn’t work, which makes me feel kind of unloved.
So I guess you’re right, it really does bring out the most undesirable qualities in people. Not to mention the horrible smell and the disgusting nicotine stains.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 20, 2013 at 8:14 am #121956Thank you. It feels incredibly great to have quit. Especially if you asked me a year ago. I thought it impossible even though I really didn’t want to. I didn’t smoke a lot maybe 5-8/day.
Ya, it really bothered me that my husband smokes (not so much anymore-it is his choice i guess). I think it was because I had quit and plus how angry, irritable and negative I was. Oh ya smoking in the house and in front of the kids are forbidden and definitely not in the car. It is not right that your husband exposes you to second had smoke in the car (even if the windows are open). BTW, coughing, sputtering, glowering, waving your hand around and complaining only makes him want to do it more. I know from personal experience. Addictions are selfish, you should have just said that to a brick wall. Please don’t feel unloved. He won’t care that it kills you at the moment when he really wants that cigarette. Maybe if you are in critical condition and he actually sees the true physical effect of it and a professional tells him it is due to second hand smoke.
The crankiness really bothers me. It kind of triggers my irritability.
My husband reeks. I can’t believe I stunk like that. He thinks that spraying himself with cologne or chewing gum masks it. It actually accentuates it.
September 20, 2013 at 3:56 pm #121964My husband was baffled when I first complained about the smell. He has no idea. When we first met I would go and stay with him for the weekend and there was him, his brother, his sister and her boyfriend all smoking in the house. It was horrible.
I would often leave Monday morning and go straight to work. I was so embarrassed when I noticed how bad I smelled. So I started wrapping my clothes up in plastic bags and keeping them in my backpack. Then just before I left I would toss them in the dryer with a fabric softener sheet to freshen them up and shake the wrinkles out.
His mother started on him before we were even dating, telling him he would have to quit because I don’t smoke. I don’t think even me being in the hospital would be enough to make him quit. I’m not sure he would quit even if it was him in the hospital. He did get scared once when one of his friends had a heart attack and he quit cold turkey. But it only lasted 2 weeks.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 21, 2013 at 8:06 am #121974It is such a powerful addiction and even as a smoker, as smoking became less acceptable indoors, I couldn’t stand the thought of smoking indoors. Second hand smoke is brutal.
REPORT ABUSESeptember 21, 2013 at 8:37 am #121975Yeah, it is a powerful addiction. I can’t understand why because it’s so disgusting. But then I never got addicted. When I was about 4 or 5 years old I think my dad left one burning in an ashtray. I decided I was going to smoke just like daddy. I remember rinsing my mouth out over and over trying to get rid of the taste of it. And that is probably what turned me off cigarettes for good. I have tried it a few times but could never get past that awful taste.
I grew up with second hand smoke. My father was a heavy smoker, 3 or 4 packs a day, and there were other people in the house smoking constantly too. There used to be huge ashtrays full of cigarette buts everywhere.
And I was sick all the time. Constant respiratory infections, ear/nose/throat problems, plus I caught every virus there was to catch.
I also worked in a bingo hall and a coffee shop before the ban. I got really, really sick once with a bad respiratory infection and my doctor kept telling me I had to stop working there. And my cat didn’t recognize me when I came home. He would always hiss at me until I said “It’s okay JoJo, it’s me”. I had to strip my clothes off and throw them in the washing machine right away then go shower. Even the food in the coffee shop smelled and tasted like cigarettes.
I’m very happy that you realize the dangers of second hand smoke and protect your children from it. And that you are setting a good example for them by quitting yourself. Hopefully your husband will be able to give it up someday.
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