finding someone to share life experiences

[Shadow Nexus]

I’m so sick of doing everything alone. I’m so sick of meeting endless women whom I have nothing in common and/or not attracted too. I’m so sick of laying back every night wondering if tomorrow will be the day when she comes into my life. I’m so sick of hearing, “You’ll find someone, just put yourself out there. Go here and there and that place.” Been there, done that, many times over! I’m so sick of being emotional exhausted with no support system. I’m so sick of the women i’m not attracted to making the moves on me, but the ones I am turning me down. ARG!

If didn’t have the imaginary girlfriend, i’d have an emotional breakdown. I know this is a defense mechanism, but it works. I sometimes I wish were “normal” so I could have had the relationship experiences of most teenagers and adults. If that weren’t enough, I have serious money problems and get help from relatives. Taking a handout really bugs me. Alright, vent over.

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[Lindstr7]

*scratches head* You’re sick of being hit on? wow, never heard a guy say that before.

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[Carrie]

You saying “Whom I have nothing in common with/or not attracted to”, made me think of my husband and I. When I first met him I thought he was the biggest creep and wanted nothing to do with him. Of course he liked me and he chased me for a year nonstop, I felt flattered and then went out with him. He and I have NOTHING in common. I come from a loud household, I am very loud fast paced. He comes from a very slow, quiet home. He used to think I was yelling at him when merely I was just excited haha I LOVE my music loud and I LOVE to be around people, he would hide in my basement almost in tears when ever he came over to my house and there were about 10 of us there. We have different tastes in music, movies, hobbies. Complete opposites we are! I gave it a chance however, and really he is the best person ever! We have been together for 7 years now, and I think he is the most attractive person in the world when really he was the complete opposite of what I found to be “attractive”. Even though we have nothing in common and are total opposite, we work so well together. Of course we have had our ups and downs, but when we got married we said through thick and thin etc! We meant it! Anyways… Im just saying not to rule out those who you dont find attractive or have nothing in common with!

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[Shadow Nexus]

>*scratches head* You’re sick of being hit on? wow, never heard a guy say that before.

I need to clear this up. I’v chatted with tons of women over the years. There have been crushes for me, but never a true connection. So, I get bored and move on. Physically my tastes are very rare. When I say nothing in common, I mean NOTHING IN COMMON. She has nothing interesting to chat about.

Finally, I managed to write it all down, all the things I needed and what was turning me off. What you describe would never happen with me. All fit that opposite realm. I’v shorten it as far as it will go. She doesn’t meet the minimums. It’s a massive turn off. Meeting someone with ADHD might be person who matches up, a few dates at least.

The few that have hit on on me(I could count it on one hand), are physically a total turn off and nothing in common. So, I see ones that are fun to dance with, but no chemistry and/really boring when chatting. It’s very frustrating. I have better chance of winning the lottery than finding someone from my planet.

I’m trying the female friend idea who can look for me. Female friends are interesting to hangout with, even if no sexual chemistry. Still waiting to hear back from them.

Seriously, I thought I was gay until I saw images of women on the internet that, well, turned me on(nothing illegal, just unusual).

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[Anonymous]

I honestly was thinking about this tonight as well!!!!!! So weird. And I thought I was a lesbian until I thought of what they had to do and how much I like guys hahaha. You will find the right person!!! It will just happen when you least expect it and that’s what I’m hoping too!!!!

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[Anonymous]

i did hear something one time. i m not sure of it being true or not but i heard tha people that date other people with add can make very good realationships. i also heard that 15 percent of the population has add or adhd if this is true where do people meet these people?

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[Shadow Nexus]

No offensive intended, the opposite thing works for some. To me it means being a lemming, settling for the first warm body that comes along. I don’t settle. Relationships are NOT the center of my existence. They are the desert after the meal(no pun intended).

-Being with a political conservative makes me sick, let alone kissing one. GAG!

-You want to get married and breed?? Euuuuuuuu(running away at top speed). I’m childfree for life. I’v known since I was seven that neither was for me. I need long hours of quiet isolation in order to function.

Lianne you are cute. Can’t imagine you having trouble. Good looking or not, “finding someone is so dam hard”, from movie “hitch”. “It’s long road when you face the world alone.”, “hero” Mariah Carey. Also, I got those statements over the years. I’m still looking, good luck to you.

Being ADHD has some advantages, were single minded(hyperfocus). No matter how discouraged I get, I keep trying. We’re like the energizer bunny. We just keep going and going. Singing and typing at same time, normal people try this.

Check out the website videos, I think it’s about 5%.of the population. Checkout my ADHD dating and convention topics.

Been singing since 1987(not in public), nothing like singing to get rid of the blues.

(singing as finish this) “Beauty_and_the_Beast”, Celine_Dion.

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[Shadow Nexus]

I must add this. Those are just two of a number of requirements. When these are added together, you should understand why I say it’s like trying to win the lottery. My doubts grow with each day. I have hope, but there isn’t much left. I’m going to pursue the ideas, but i’m not holding my breath about finding someone.

Funny note, it’s not just about sex with the imaginary girlfriend, no really!

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[Anonymous]

The more I get on the forum, the more I want to shout “THANK GOD! I’M NOT ALONE!!!” I have gotten to the point where I believed I was defective. I have family members who I swear have entered a pool as to when I’m going to come out “36 year old single woman with no kids…getouttahere!” Meanwhile, I’ve had 2 cousins come out to me. I’ve told them that they owe me a debt of thanks because while everyone’s got their eye on me, they are free to run towards the rainbow flag…I kid. I even attempted internet dating for all of six days before I was completely and utterly freaked out and overwhelmed. If I had a dime for every person who said “I just don’t get it. Why are you single?” I wouldn’t need a job. I’m told I’m initmidating, and even overheard a guy at a bar a couple of weeks ago assessing me to a friend and concluding: “She looks mean.” Hmm…I mean, I didn’t sit by my beer with a crazy smile on my face, but MEAN? I dunno…I am incredibly ‘picky’ My family is LITTERED with the remains of horrible and abusive relationships and even in the best case scenario, like my own folks, someone has to say goodbye. My mom passed away after 31 years of marriage to my dad, but that dude was able to remarry within 5 years of losing my Mom and he is a HANDFUL. I also consider my weight and all of the external ‘stuff’, but I know that it’s all just excuses, if I really and truly wanted to ‘find’ someone I would play a more active role in GETTING OUT THERE. All that I’ve concluded is that the ‘problem’ is me. I meet the same type of person. The candy coating may be different, but the gooey, nugaty, douchey center is all the same. I try to chalk it up to the Universe telling me that I needed to get my own house in order. There are SO MANY things that are chaotic in my life, I think that maybe there isn’t a guy out there who wants to date both me and my “Calamity Jane” alter ego, so for now, I just take the questions, hit the gym to lose the lbs and hope for the best. Really, that’s all I can do, be good to myself or else I can never be good to or for anyone else. It all sounds very ‘new agey’ or whathaveyou, but I find that when I’m not so focused on “WHY!!!!??? AM I DESTINED TO WANDER THE EARTH ALONE LIKE CANE FROM ‘KUNG FU’?” I just focus on enjoying the things I do have cause to be honest, sharing your life with someone is great, but just having a life is pretty fantastic too.

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