Frustrated!!!

[Outoftune]

Why are people quicker to assume than they are to learn?

Most people in my life are so quick to assume that I am lazy, careless, just not trying hard enough, just not focusing hard enough, making excuses, saying I don’t understnand intructions to get out of doing soething. And they are full of such ‘helpful’ advice such as if I just focused on slowing down my brain like they do when they are stressed/rushed or just think harder!!!!

hat I will magically transform into the focused attentive caring person they ‘know I can be’. Even my Mother thinks these things even though I displayed symptoms right from age 3!!! She never had me tested or would beliveve there was anything ‘wrong with me’ I am so intelligent I just don’t try hard enough or care enough!!! I can understand that people tend to dismiss anything they are not familiar with and that because I don’t have the Hyperactive kind (not body wise but my mind sure is hyperactive lol) and have never been one to scream and run about that I ‘couldn’t possibly have ADD’. I’m really struggling with this today it’s just one of those days where I’m feeling totally alone in this and thought I would vent on here to hopefully get some feedback that I’m not the only one who feels this way!

Thanks for any sympathy lol

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[Anonymous]

I totally feel your pain. My parents did have me tested, but didn’t want to accept that I had a learning disability/ADD. They did send me to a tutor that wanted to label me as L.D. so she could get more resources, butI told her and parents NO! I was already awkward enough and often picked on and teased. The last thing I needed was a label too. No where in all of the bad grades and being yelled at during report card time, did anyone tell me I had ADD. Until last year at the age of 42. My mom told me she thought I knew all along, but NO! Things made a lot of sense after that. I can’t even imagine how I got a college degree, but I did and it only took 6 years. LOL…I remember as a kid, my parents telling me I was lazy too. But my excuse was always, “I forgot.” Anyway, about 2 1/2 years ago, I had a miscarrage after several fertility treatments. I sort of went on Auto pilot and into a depression. My mind took over and was so jumbled (which I now realize it always had been). I had these self created thoughts that I believed to be true, Such as how people perceived me or that they were mad at me. I wasn’t feeling with my heart. I eventually had a panic attack and got so overwhelmed that I freaked out. I ended up at a behavioral therapist that gave me hope. Dr Mike is the best thing that ever happened to me. It is all about having your mind and body in balance. Been going for over a year and about 1 month ago, in therapy, I realized my mind is clear…no more jumbled mess of thoughts and things to remember. I can literally just sit, close my eyes and my mind is quiet and it is wonderful. This has also helped with my ADD, I have more focus because I can concentrated on one thought. I am not perfect and never will be but since getting my mind and body in balance, things have fallen into place for me. I am thankful to have a good full time job and 9 1/2 months ago we adopted a son after 2 years on the waiting list.

Anyway, just wanted you to know you are not alone in all of this and I am thankful to know I am not alone either.

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[Zita]

My experiences were the same growing up, I was told I just had to “apply my self” as if I wasn’t trying!! I’m 33 and just found out in May, I’m on adderall now, I did have my meds all figured out, but I decided to throw wellbutrin into the mix and it messed me all up!! I can’t get back to where I was now at all. I really hate having this……..I guess I’m just feeling sorry for my self today, I’m just so frustrated, I had it all figured out, and then I had to go and mess with it!!

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[Anonymous]

I have to agree ShinyS……..my counselor and years in counseling did more for me in every way, than anything I have done, before or after. My experience mirrors your. It lasts a life time…….no regrets

toofat

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[munchkin]

Feeling your pain Sherri, just started meds and hearing comments of, if I’m not suddenly fixed then obviously I’m just always going to be “this way”. I’m trying to get into counseling with the right person. I consider myself to be extremely optimistic, resilient and have done my best to find creative ways to get things done and politely thank the people for their totally un-useful but well meaning advice. Still – – my view of myself and others has been very confused and distorted by not being aware of my ADD and thinking that other people were screwed up for having such absurd rules and expectations.(Just because I can now focus doesn’t mean I can agree with anyone on what I should be focusing on!) I’m hoping that I can start on a new journey where I can re-evaluate my life story and forgive and be able to coexist with the non-ADD world in a more mutually respectful way It helps to hear from others – nice not to feel so alone 🙄

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[Anonymous]

Munch…..I believe there is more than one drum beating, the world is actually full of rhythms. Others have tried to convince me that I should/must dance to their drum….but I can’t hear it very well, and…. I get anxious…..it feels awkward.

I hear what I hear…….and it feels good…..sounds good too….to me…….. particularly if I listen.

toofat

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[munchkin]

What you hear is what makes you unique and special. To dance another’s dance that you can’t hear is like going to an Indian restaurant and thinking that’s the same thing as going to India. You would be untrue to yourself and the others you would seek to please. There must be an honest way to coexist where you remain true to yourself, and honor others without having to pretend. People have a habit of thinking everyone thinks just like they do. People who are different sometimes end up with the burden of shaking up the naive normal people’s realities, which, as it turns out, is doing them a favor often times. If you can get someone to question their assumptions in a way that is enjoyable for them, you open their mind to a richer life experience and create a positive association with seeing things from different perspectives. Knowing how to interact, being an outsider, yet having a positive effect on people, making your differences a benefit and not a liability – that is the trick. If only I knew how other people think, maybe I could pull it off more often… I don’t know… does that make any sense?

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[Anonymous]

It does to me Munch……I relish “The Edge”……..and as Mickey Hart says in his book “Drumming at the Edge of Magic”….. “there is magic there, at the edge”.

Some prefer the safety of the middle of the flock…..it’s just not for me. I prefer the magic!!

toofat

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[Author]

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