Functionality… is but a dream. Or is it?

[Anonymous]

So, after talking to my friend on the phone a while back just about life and what’s been going on [who also struggles with ADD] who lives in Oregon [lots o’ miles away, hence never really getting to chat with her], she asked me, “Have you ever suspected you have ADHD?” … kind of got the cogs rolling. Anyway, after letting it ‘rest’ for a while [read: obsessing about at least three other projects and wasting a lot of time on Pinterest and FoodGawker], I finally took the leap and read up about it. I really feel like this describes me to a T!

First, I was excited about it. Maybe I’m not — as the book title states “Lazy, Stupid or Crazy”? Maybe it’s just wiring. Or genetics, or what have you. Maybe there is a way that I can become a functioning human being and keep a clean house and finally finish the millions of half-started, half-finished projects I have [or maybe lose some weight, or learn a new skill, or just be AMAZING at the trillions I already ‘possess’].

I wondered why when I first got into web design and set up my first personal website I needed to redo the layout every two months. Or how, even though I felt I was smarter, I was in the dumbest reading group in the fifth grade. Or why I couldn’t finish upwards of 21 missing assignments I had in middle school [my mom had to hover over me while I completed them all one Saturday], or why I have open seven tabs while surfing and why I can’t seem to keep appointments with people or forget or lose interest in going out or why I can’t relate to anyone I meet or … just so many things.

But now I’m scared–ish… what if I don’t have it? What if I do? Am I always going to be this way? Is there any hope? I don’t know. I can’t wait until Tuesday / Wednesday next week when I have off so I can go to the student conselling center with my brokeness [anytime I have over five dollars in my account I need to spend it… which isn’t often] and maybe talk to someone about it who knows a little bit more. Maybe I can fix myself? As I’ve been trying to do for… as long as I can remember [Every new year, making lists and plans about who I want to be and how to get there… but never being able to actually follow-through on any of them for more than a month]? Maybe it’s the reason people call me scatter-brained and flaky and absent-minded… and clumsy. And stupid. And lazy.

… I dunno. [Sorry, just kind of needed to get this out there… Maybe I shouldn’t post this…]

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[kc5jck]

Hi bonnieinpixels, no reason that you shouldn’t have posted the above. Sounds like you have come to the right place. Now, pretend your brain is a ten year old, you are the mom, and go read http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2368 for good advice from many of the members on this site.

Welcome and please continue to contribute and ask questions.

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