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Getting them to understand!

Getting them to understand!2015-03-02T04:51:24+00:00

The Forums Forums Parenting & ADD Getting them to understand!

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  • #126725

    Post count: 2

    Okay. Hello, my name is Sam! I am 17 years old and live in Australia. For a while I’ve always had trouble concentrating in general, although it goes much deeper than just concentration. I notice my mind travelling, constantly linking unrelated things together eventually getting distracted, extreme time travelling (especially at home when I should be studying), trouble focusing on one task, often hopping from one incomplete task to another. You guys get the drill. I’m currently undertaking my final year of high school and its a big deal. I’ve decided to bring up my worries to my parents and I haven’t had the best of luck.

    My first attempt of bringing up the subject of just a mere doctors visit to at least try and understand why it is I am having these troubles was completely shut down. My mum says I’m being stupid i should just focus on my studies in stead of focusing on such ridiculous theories.

    I’m starting to get very worried about my performance in my final year, as i am already finding it hard to get motivated or even commit to solid study for more than 30 mins.

    Just wondering if anyone has had a similar situation, or has any words of wisdom that might help me get some relief with my situation. (I’m not necessarily looking for medication, although I’ve tried almost everything I can do myself. Also, in Australia doctors can prescribe medication to children 16 years and older without parental consent)

    Thanks guys,



    Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD
    Post count: 473

    Hi Sam,

    Hope you are having a warm winter down under.

    I suspect that every member on this site can recognize some aspects of their own stories in what you’re going through.  It’s a familiar pattern.

    At a number of the ADHD conferences I have attended people have talked about how hard it is to get a proper diagnosis in Australia, how it is dismissed, and so on.  I’ve also heard a few people say they have found help. Though I apologize for not being able to remember any specifics.

    Have you done a lot of reading on ADHD?  Have you watched videos?

    Some suggestions.  First, before you try to change your parents opinion, which sounds like a long shot at the moment, learn as much as you can about ADHD.

    Take the Virtual Doctor test on our site, read about it, learn what it is, figure out what particular challenges you have.  Some people are not that restless or impulsive but really struggle with focus. Others may have problems with Dyslexia, or over-sensitivity, procrastination, losing things…

    The second thought would be to look at your parents, at both branches of your family tree, mom’s and dad’s sides of the family, and see if you spot anyone who has struggled with this in their lives.  It looks different in adults.  Sometimes the ADHD is due to a specific issue, a head injury perhaps, but the vast majority of us came by this mindset fair and square through our family’s genes.

    If you find someone who has struggled with uneven attention, restlessness, impulsivity, and memory issues, talk to them. Perhaps get them to take some of the tests and watch some of the videos.

    Third, suggestion: though this is difficult to do on your own, start adopting some of the strategies that work for ADHD folks and see if they make a difference for you.  If so, that’s good, right?

    Perhaps get copies of some of the better books and read up so you know what works. And you can explain what this is in a way that doesn’t have people dismiss it as a bunch of non-sense.

    Trying to argue with people never works. Believe me, I know. But when you start making changes and seeing results, you may be on firmer ground in dealing with the dismissal of other folks. And do keep in mind, you may not have ADHD. And people are dismissive because, well, there was a lot of bad, harmful, and misleading stuff written about ADHD in the past.

    It’s getting better. And I’m thrilled to be a huge part of bringing awareness to people, but for every person who gets it, there are still a dozen who don’t.  It’s going to be ongoing.

    Fourth suggestion: Get exercise.  Hugely helpful according to many of the doctors we speak to.  It doesn’t eliminate ADHD, but it can be hugely helpful with focus and restlessness.  Read John Ratey’s book Spark.

    Fifth suggestion: Try mindfulness meditation.  More and more studies are showing it helps reduce the symptoms, and a recent study out of Harvard says it actually changes the brain.

    Last suggestion: don’t start using marijuana to ‘self-medicate.’  Last week a doctor pointed out to me that the ONLY disorder that marijuana may help some conditions, and make no difference for others, but there is one disorder where it is actually counter productive, or what the doctors call ‘counter indicated’.  And that’s ADHD.  The marijuana can reduce anxiety, which makes regular users feel less stressed, and feel like they are better at focussing, but the studies show that that feeling they have is just a feeling.  The studies show marijuana actually lowers memory.

    Do these suggestions help?


    Post count: 2

    Thanks a lot Rick, this information is greatly appreciated. I’ve done extensive research on ADHD as well as an online test on which I scored a 39/50. Although I’m almost the polar opposite of hyper-active, I do have a very difficult time focusing. I’ve begun a cycle of multi-vitamins and the school counselor suggested Piracetam which I just ordered online. Although my friends smoke marijuana occasionally, I’ve never been interested in the idea and I like to keep my distance from drugs.

    You have given me lots of suggestions and I can’t wait to put them into practice! Thanks a lot!

    also, it’s summer down here haha 🙂

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