The Forums Forums Emotional Journey My Story Good Morning!!!

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  • mkc1968
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    I am hoping to connect with others!

    I will try and keep my story short.  When I was 30, found out I was ADD inattentive, I did nothing about it at that time since I was doing pretty good in my career and learned to cope. I always knew I wasn’t super smart and had a hard time understanding stuff etc., but some things I was GREAT at!! Fast forward, I am now 46 and last July was fired from a job. Reasons being were, too many careless mistakes and not catching on fast enough for their standards. I believe this has happened in the past with other jobs, but these folks were very blunt!!!  This floored me…I already suffer from mild anxiety but this put me into a depression. Went to doc and said I want to try medication. Wish I would have done this several years ago.  So at this point, I am 46 (soon to be 47 lol), unemployed, single and I live with  my mom. I have no self esteem, and really stuck in a rut. Looking for fellow members who are in the same boot or was and can offer some advice.

    Thanks a bunch!!

    Good morning.  This is going to be bit long so feel free to ignore.  No hurt feelings. Totally new here, just registered figured I would take a look around. Not sure why I am posting I can count on one tail the number of forums I have posted on (I am not a dog). But I am 46, other than that not what we have in common. Never been fired but I have have always had jobs that were probably lower level than I was capable of and reviews were usually of the he has great potential but needs to get it together.  Married but in past year it is hanging on by a thread.  Have my own house but so far in debt that without a wife working that would not be case.  So why write because 6 weeks had some changes.  Over the years have have depressive episodes. Spiral down start taking Prozac feel better go off Prozac.  Accepted it until a real bad episode that could have been hospitalized but a saint of my wife was able to basically do home care with new psychiatrist and add bipolar to diagnosis. Back on my feet. Fast forward nearly 15 years Of religiously tAking meds and seeing psychiatrist regularly but over time marriage gets more strained, stay at same level at job and performance rating goes down.  But all not dramatic and same time we had kids so figure just stress.  Eventually wife gives ultimatum so add weekly therapy sessions for almost two years.  Faithful to sessions and meds though homework fr sessions less faithful.  Then few things happen.  Boss at work moves on and I am natural replacement but passed over by someone with less experience (in fact no experience) who makes lateral move from somewhere else.  Wife starts to ask “are you really doing well at work?”  Go to refinance for a better rate on house turned down. Wife finds out that me taking care of money is new credit cards and transferring balances.  Psychiatrists retires and my wife has another ultatum. Get a new shrink in next week or move out.  So scramble and basically pull name out of hat.  Session 1 go through background and history.  First question as a child or at any time anyone talk to you about add?  Nope.  Never been hyper.  Did well in school, real we’ll.  gives me questionnaire. And looking at she says what do think about trying Ritalin. Ok. At this point kind of who cares as in who cares if I do that who cares if I drive car off cliff.  Take a month and seem to feel better but the bar pretty low.  Up dosage twice and stay there for few months.  Any change?  Holy crap.  Does everyone else’s brain work this way all the time?  They do not think about about all 25 steps of project when they are trying to do step 1?  They do not have 4 inner voices and your can only silence 2 at a time?  Not everyone agonizes over a decision until you just throw a dart because you can’t take it anymore?  It seems like that might be the case because over the past few months it is like a new brain with same memories and learning.  If you are posting here because you think maybe adhd then I say run not walk to a psychiatrist who will prescribe meds and give story and if need to beg them to at least give you 6 months on meds to see if they work. You know quickly if they work and if they don’t not supposed to have long term effect after only short usage.  I am not sure how long the effect will last. One of reasons registered is to see experience of others over long haul.  Is it going to drop off, will it help with that “homwork” from therapist?   Will my wife see a difference eventually?  All that up in the air for me but if I stay here “thank god”.  Give t a shot.  I tried few things and this one has been totally different. On the past it was like my brain but better this is new brain and I like this one so far.  I hope o can keep it.

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