GRR Highly Suspect I Am…BUT Questioning Assessment, She suspected otherwise

[skippingrock]

She said that I have sever procrastination with my depression and anxiety but I also have perfectionism. That my perfectionism usually helps me overcome the fact that I don’t feel like doing things. But lately I’ve been more depressed and it is cancelling out my extra focus that I get from my “fear” of not having people see me or my work as perfect and that is why things are slipping and not getting done.

Well, I have an appointment with my GP in a couple of weeks. She has known me since I was in junior high school. This psychiatrist has “known” me for what, one and a half hours?!

My GP just wanted me to go to see what the psychiatrist said and see about going to another psychiatrist, don’t know if I should have switched the medication now… second guessing this whole thing I don’t want to get stuck on this stuff (Effexor XR) if I shouldn’t be on it in the first place.

I’d be really interested in what has happened thus far with the original author of this thread, @moime3d how are things going with you?

The thing that bugs me is that there are many times, like even now, where I don’t really feel depressed, but I just can’t focus and get things done. I haven’t been depressed all of my life. I’ve been a relatively content person until recently.

REPORT ABUSE

[Bibliophile]

@skippingrock

As an exercise, try mapping out/listing a number of the more important failures and successes in your life. Then, list the top three reasons you believe that you failed/succeeded. For me, this exercise quickly brings my ADHD symptoms to the forefront. Also, the number of failures grows to be quite large (and not just because of an overly critical nature as some failures are quite empirically measured).

Two items that might be throwing flags that you might not have ADHD for the professionals are:

1.) You are no longer getting things done now that you are in your 30s. This would imply that they were getting done before. Now stresses change and that can impact attention, but it is curious that the symptoms were not so apparent prior.

2.) School performance was good. I am sure that there are some ADHD sufferers who excelled at school. Based on the anecdotal comments from forum users and my own experience, school performance for ADHD sufferers is quite erratic as external factors (i.e. quality of the teacher, environment and other stressors) will heavily influence performance, regardless of intelligence. The ADHD symptoms tend to prevent what we know from coming out effectively on a regular basis

I am not saying that you are or are not ADHD, just giving you some things to consider. Whether it is ADHD or something else, I hope you are able to come to terms with it and get it under control. The label doesn’t matter, the outcome does.

REPORT ABUSE

[wanderquest]

@skippingrock I tried to talk myself out of having it before I went to see my doctor. Because of that very reason: did well in school. But the more I read, and watched, and researched, it just clicked.

I did my own family history before I sought a medical opinion, thinking they’d tell me I was not remembering my childhood correctly. Much to my chagrin they all pretty much said they were not surprised at all. Not hyperactive, but a major space cadet.

http://totallyaddconnect.com/forums/topic/did-anyone-else-actually-do-well-in-school/

And like @Rick said, you might not be impaired in clinical terms, just affected.

Coping mechanisms/self-developed strategies can hide it too. Who has two thumbs and loves Post-its? This gal!

REPORT ABUSE

[blackdog]

Wow, @skippingrock, I think we might be twins. Either that or our psychiatrists are. 😉

The one I saw didn’t even spend half an hour with me and didn’t even want to hear anything about ADD. And my doctor is just going along with him. Unfortunately, the doctor I had as a child is dead and no one knows what happened to his records.

Now, that being said….

1) It is very important that you stick with the medication long enough to know if it is going to help you or not- at least 4-6 weeks. It is not good to suddenly stop taking it.

2) It is possible that you have both depression and ADD. If that is the case, it might be best to treat the depression first. If you do have ADD, it should become more obvious if the symptoms don’t go away when the depression improves. And there is a strong possibility that the ADD will actually become worse, which will make it more obvious and easier to diagnose.

Have you taken any of the online self tests? That could be helpful. Also, ask your family and any friends who have known you for awhile the same questions. When I went through one of the self tests with my mom she answered all the questions the same. And when I first came to TADD I had only read about 3 posts. before I started to laugh. Then I said to mom “tell me if this sounds like someone you know…” and started reading them to her. And she started to laugh. Even when we watched “ADD and Loving it”  and I didn’t think it sounded like me, mom said “oh no, that sounds a lot like you”.

I just realized I’m repeating myself. But my point is, if you have ADD, then you have always had it, since the day you were born. And the signs would have been noticeable to those around you. So try the self tests and talk to your family and make some notes to take with you when you see the doctor. And ask to see another psychiatrist if you think that is what you need.

REPORT ABUSE

[skippingrock]

@blackdog, yes, I’ve done the self tests. I’ve done the ASRS-v1.1. For section A in May the first four questions were “often” and the last two “Sometimes”, in August 1, 2, 4 were “very often” 3 was “often” and 5-6 still “sometimes”. Part B was similar for both dates with questions 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 16, and 18 on the first grey box and 12, 15 and 17 on the last white box.
The psychiatrist had me take the Wender AQCC Scale which is where she said that she didn’t think I had ADD.

Another test I did at psychcentral.com gave me a score of:
You scored a total of 31 (which means Moderate ADHD)
Inattention Subscale: 20 (which is High)
Hyperactivity/Impulsivity Subscale: 11 (which is Low)

REPORT ABUSE

[skippingrock]

On a lighter note…
Does anyone else pump (shake) their leg a lot? I’ve always done it. Sometimes I even do it whilst driving if I’m stuck in traffic. I’ve been doing it all morning sitting at the desk. My wife is always telling me to stop because in her culture it symbolizes the shaking out of the luck that person has. lol.

Also Twitter seems to be the death of me, a continuous source of distraction, that and Mountain Lion email notifications.

Crap, I keep forgetting to eat my lunch. Getting late, still haven’t done any work today… groan. So much for the lighter note.

REPORT ABUSE

[skippingrock]

@Bibliophile
Could you clarify what you mean in point 1 in your note? Are you saying that it seems strange that I am not getting things done now in my thirties or something else?

Is the flag in response that I could have ADD or a flag that there is doubt that I do?

Thanks.

REPORT ABUSE

[blackdog]

@skippingrock– I continuously shake my leg, wiggle my toes, tap my fingers, rock etc., especially when sitting and reading something that I am not reading for fun, or waiting for a long period of time, or doing something frustrating… I was worse when I was a kid and constantly got told to stop it.

There is a thread around here somewhere about Twitter and ADHD. The general consensus is that the two don’t mix.

If I may answer one of your questions to @Bibliophile, I believe the point was that if you suddenly started to struggle more with getting things done as an adult,  then it is likely that the cause is depression.

REPORT ABUSE

[skippingrock]

@blackdog @bibliophile, no… I’ve always struggled to get things done. I remember my mom helping me finish things when I was a kid. I always had these awesome title pages with some picture that a kid my age would surely not have been able to draw.

Speaking of titles, I would often come up with the title first and then think… now what?? But I’ve always been pretty good at writing. Once I got my head into things and was interested I could write prose like the world had never seen. I was often helping my sister with her assignment proofreading and would gleefully tear her reports apart and rewrite entire sections, often getting her great marks. But if it didn’t interest me… it would just sit there until I got a kick in the butt by mom to get it done (often with her helping me late at night the day before it was due) or I was begging for an extension in which my perfectionism would kick into overdrive and I’d get it done because I hated getting bad grades.

Talking about this is helping me remember these things… thanks.

REPORT ABUSE

[blackdog]

That’s good, that you’re remembering things. I don’t know about you but I don’t usually remember things in detail. I need to have something to trigger the memory. Which contributes a lot to my tendency to hoard. I can’t throw things away because they remind me of someone or something that I might forget otherwise.

I was late for school almost every single day and rarely got my assignments done on time. I would always leave things to the last minute and struggle with figuring out what to do with them. Then when there was no time left I would finally sit down and focus on it and inspiration would strike like lightning.  Then I would sit up all night to get it done.

I was almost never mentally present in class, always staring out the window, daydreaming or doodling. Teachers would have to call my name several times before I heard them. When I was paying attention I would blurt out answers and interrupt teachers and students.

At home, mom would pester me to clean my room until it got so bad she finally gave up and cleaned it herself. And I would zone out regularly and they would have to shout at me to get my attention. I had to be woke up several times in the morning before I finally got up and was always tired and crabby. And I never knew what day it was. I don’t know how many times I woke my father up on a Saturday or Sunday to tell him he was late for work. When I was getting dressed I would frequently forget an article of clothing. I can remember being halfway down the stairs when I realized I had no shirt on. And one time in the winter when I left for school and part way down the sidewalk realized my feet were cold. I had forgotten to put my boots on.

Wow, after typing all that I think there is no doubt I had ADD when I was a kid. The only question is, do I still have it?

 

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts