January 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm #89034
trashmanMemberJanuary 25, 2011 at 3:23 pmPost count: 546
I was just woundering if any one has been put on disability for there emtional state. my doctor is thinking of this for me because i am over senative about to many things . it seems that every one and every thing seems to hurt my feelings. and yes I know I am a odd duck. quak. lol . thanks for your thoughts.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:34 pm #99627
Shadow NexusMemberJanuary 26, 2011 at 8:34 pmPost count: 181
Well, I have. I posted on x-stream forum. I got on for a complex number of reasons. I’m not odd, i’m a creative genius.
You need to develop emotional control. Were like the Vulcans from Star Trek(TV/FILM). Very intense emotions. They use meditation to control them. In reality, deep meditation can balance your emotions out. As part of my spirituality, I do it and feel a lot better afterward.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:33 am #99628
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:33 amPost count: 14413
My employer wanted to put me on disability last autumn after a big anxiety attack but my doctor (who doesn’t believe in the diagnostic about ADD and severe anxiety) didn’t agree. She refused to sign the papers. She tought it was a problem to be solved by the employer. So I had to get back to work.
I’m very lucky in the fact that my employer is concerned and tries to help me. They took me off the phone for a few days and gave me the help of a coach for a while.
Filmbuff1984 – Even before I knew I had ADD, Mr Spock was the character I most likely wanted to be! No emotions! Just intelligent reasonning! So cool and practical at work if it could be done!REPORT ABUSEJanuary 27, 2011 at 5:01 am #99629
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 27, 2011 at 5:01 amPost count: 14413
i was on disability in the UK for major depression for a fair while. i just couldn’t function at work, i had a hysterical meltdown at the mere idea of going there. the money really sucked. honestly, i think an intensive CBT course (like one i just took this summer) would have been much more help to me.
trashman- i don’t know if you’ve ever had cognative behavioural therapy before, but if you can get some, its really good stuff. basically you learn about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviour, and how they all affect each other- for example:
if you choose to think “he’s laughing at me because i suck” , then you’ll feel paranoid, hurt, and inadequate, and act submissively (or just hide away at home, crying under the blankets, thinking about how sucktastic you are)….
….. if you choose to say “oh my god its a huge vicious looking spider! i’m frightened of spiders! this is a crisis, i’m gonna have a panic attack and i might die right now!” you will feel really bloody scared, and you’ll have a panic attack- cos you just told yourself to do that… and then you’ll tell yourself its dreadful, and you’re dying… and you’ll feel dreadful, and like you’re dying.
if you feel angry about losing a parking spot when driving, you’ll think really unhealthy hurtful thoughts at the other driver, and behave in a hostile and agressive manner behind the wheel…. get a headache, have a rubbish afternoon….and so on.
once you start to learn about the links between what you think, feel, and do, how your head works, and practice being in charge of your feelings and thoughts and behaviours instead of falling victim to them, you can start to challenge a lot of the negative crap you tell yourself in your own head (we all do that) – and you can become active in changing stuff. you can learn to not have your feelings hurt (cos they’re YOUR feelings, you don’t belong to them- they’re in your head, and you control the thinking, and changing the thinking changes the feeling that goes with it- get it?).
so instead of the examples above, you’d think:
“he’s laughing at me because i su…..hang on a minute…. i don’t really know why he’s laughing, i’m guessing. maybe he’s thinking about a really funny joke he saw on tv last night. even if he does think i suck, who gives a damn- he’s not the worlds authority on sucking, and i’m good enough for ME, thats what counts- damnit, i rock…. i’mma go get myself a cookie for being so awesome- i deserve it!” , then you’ll feel pretty chipper, and act way way happier….stroll off munching a cookie, and have a nice afternoon….
….. “oh. its a little spider. this isn’t a crisis, i can handle this- i’ve done it before. i’m gonna put this huge mug over it carefully, slide a bit of paper underneath, take it outside, put it down, knock over the mug, and wait for the spider to run away!” you will feel confident, in charge, and proud of your ability to cope- cos you just told yourself to… and you’ll breeze through the spider-relocation.
you can say to yourself “just relax, its only a parking spot, i’ll get another one, he must really need it… no big deal! when driving, you’ll feel relaxed, and behave cool, calm and collectedly behind the wheel…. not get a headache, have a nice afternoon….and so on.
in CBT you get to learn stress management, to practice and imagine scenarios that you tend to find hard- before you deal with them for real, do relaxation, plan doing stuff differently to help you succeed, how to be aware of your thoughts as they wander about, and stop them when they’re going somewhere bad, and turn them around etc.
being able to say to yourself “now hang on, i’m making this worse than it really is!- is that thought really 100% true and accurate?- how do i KNOW that what i’m telling myself is true? could i be wrong? is it really that dreadful if it is true? what else could be going on? is this feeling helping me? what could i do differently?” when you’re thinking “they’re all arseholes, everyone hates me, i might as well beat myself over the head with the office stapler and put myself out of my misery- its never going to get any better, i’ll always be a failure and a freak, waaaaah!” after someone walked past you with a scowl on their face in the office, is really cool. cos it really is quite funny how we tell ourselves crappy stories, decide they’re true, then get all pissed off and feel hurt- when we could be telling ourselves nicer stories, not taking them too seriously, and having an alright day instead.
i’m really LOVING the change in me after my CBT course. stuff really doesn’t bother me any more, cos i don’t see the point in letting it bother me, i don’t encourage my thoughts into ‘poor little me/i’m no good/this is scary and i’m doomed’ territory, i see when they’re going that way, and reel them back in, sort them out, replace them with better ones, and i’m the mistress of ‘deciding not to get pissed off or freaked out by silly people and pointless crap thats really not worth my while”.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 27, 2011 at 11:26 am #99630
trashmanMemberJanuary 27, 2011 at 11:26 amPost count: 546
jen, I think you are right . I need to find out what I need to fix and then change. If I did not work it would give me to much time to think. in the long run how I veiw my self would get worse, if that were possible. so I think I will tell my doc I will try to find work and keep pluging along. thanks for all the advice.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:01 pm #99631
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 27, 2011 at 6:01 pmPost count: 14413
too much thinking time ALWAYS gets me into trouble- so does too much of my own company with nothing to do- i need to be around sane people and be busy some of the time!
perhaps you could start with volunteer work- you might be able to claim money and do that theraputically- the pressure is way less, the stress-levels can be lower, and you tend to work with nicer people cos they actually *want* to be there. plus volunteer co-ordinators are used to supporting people who are using their placement as a step up to get back into work, and those who might need a bit more support one way or another than the average staff member does.
its really great for your self worth to do something that you can see is making a difference to a little corner of the world, and for self motivation, self esteem and confidence too- plus you get to practice all those workplace skills like time management and resisting the urge to whack annoying people over the head- and it looks good on a resume that you’ve been doing something constructive with your time!
and don’t forget that change is a process- or beat yourself up for not fixing everything overnight. its taken us a long time to get to where we are, we’re not gonna get back from there in a weekend, you know? if you can get a therapist or social worker to help you work out some goals, and take it step by step with them supporting you, its much easier to organise a plan, and mark your progress along the way- and to feel like you’re getting somewhere. you’re more likely to acheive with a coach helping train you- especially with ADD, that sort of structure can be really important.
you can do it! (and sorry for the essay earlier!).REPORT ABUSEJanuary 28, 2011 at 4:34 pm #99632
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 28, 2011 at 4:34 pmPost count: 14413
I am on Disability in the US for bi-polar disorder. Although My healthcare needs are met it wouldn’t be if I weren’t on Disability it can be very frustrating if I let it be.
KREPORT ABUSEJanuary 28, 2011 at 11:42 pm #99633
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 28, 2011 at 11:42 pmPost count: 14413
I am currently on disability for ADHD and anxiety. I am trying to get back on the horse. Let me tell you how it is. You will have to save your money wisely because it’s just a paltry check per month. YOu get great benefits under medicare and medicaid in that you don’t have to pay anything or at least very little and you’ll be seen instead of dying in the waiting room. It’s not something that you will be able to tell people because you’ll get the response “You don’t look disabled” because you’re not in a wheelchair. So keep your mouth shut about that because even in this economy the whole bullshit about the rugged individual still rules. I would say do it despite all this shit about it because in the meantime you can get all the help you need so that eventually you can get back on the horse. Make the most of your time on it.REPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 5:24 pm #99634
trashmanMemberFebruary 3, 2011 at 5:24 pmPost count: 546
Iam ,told that I will be put on a disability for my low IQ and my problems with dealing with people with an inability to deal with someone thinking for themselves. I was just woundering if I should go along with this or am I giving up my rights. my wife seams to think it’s a good idea but Iam not sure if she thinks that will keep a roof over my head when she sends me packing, its more about dealing with her guilt. to be fair I would not blame her because this is not what she signed on for when she married me. at that time I was young and thought I could ruled the world if I worked hard enough. no such luck, she ends up with a middle aged brocken down failure. so I think she would be better off if she would tose me out, but she has a soft heart and has not been able to come to terms with it yet. she does not want to admit to people how crazy she thinks I am . because for her there is shame if she keeps me and she thinks same if she throws me out . I don’t blame her I never thought I was going down this path and end up in this lost place.REPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 6:44 pm #99635
dspiceladyMemberFebruary 3, 2011 at 6:44 pmPost count: 71
Trashman, I hope you read this with the good intentions that are meant, but honey, if she can’t see the wonderful human being that you so clearly are, then it’s her loss! You have to stop with the low IQ crap(I say this lovingly) because there are people out there with enormous IQ’s who are horrible people. While IQ has some value in this world, it does not make anyone worthwhile in the grand scheme of things. Kindness, patience, caring. Those things are infinitely more important and have nothing to do with IQ, and you have those qualities in abundance.
You have struggles? Do you actively try to work them? Do you try to improve yourself everyday? My guess is, yes! Do you have some failures? Doesn’t everyone?
I really hope you can see that I’m not trying to yell at you. I really want to come over to where ever you are right now and give you a shake, though. lol! Because, I read your posts, and you make me smile. You make me see that others are going through similar things and aren’t giving up. YOU ARE GOOD!
I have people in my life that aren’t ready or willing to understand my ADD. Maybe as a concept, but not a reality. They think, I should be able to take a pill and their lives will be great. They are not willing to learn about it or understand, truly understand, and maybe even help me with it. I’m guessing that’s true with your wife. So I feel ya. (By the way, my IQ is high average and people close to me still think I’m crazy, so go figure!)
One thing I’m learning for me, is that I can only learn for me. If your wife doesn’t want this challenge, you can’t force it on her. I am sad for the both of you, if things go bad. But remember we ADDer’s do tend to see the worst case scenerios, and maybe if you do go on assistance, some of the $ stress would be lifted and you could focus on something that would be blissful! Maybe she won’t kick you to the curb at all.
I understand when you say you would need to work or do something productive. Maybe this could be an opportunity. I’m trying to look at the bright side here. Before you make any decisions, please look at some of the positives of being on assistance because there are some. Volunteer work, can keep you grounded and structured. There is sure to be something you like to do, but have not had the time because you were too busy trying desperately to earn an acceptable living.
I do not presume to have any answers for you, but hope you start viewing yourself in the positive light I see you. Having you here on this site, and reading your posts helps me everyday. Thank youREPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 7:03 pm #99636
trashmanMemberFebruary 3, 2011 at 7:03 pmPost count: 546
thank-you dspicelady, for all your kind words I get overwellemed with my self some days this is a time in my life it is a hard time fitting in someplace . when the people at E.I keep telling me Iam not worth the investment it bugs me to the point that I blame my self. sad , but true. I have a hard time seeing the good in me but I have no problem seeing the good in someone else. I have a bad habit trusting more than I should just because thats how I think people should beable to trust me. not always the case.
thanks again for all your kind words I don’t know if I could get through this stuggle without all of the kindness on this site.REPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 7:39 pm #99637
dspiceladyMemberFebruary 3, 2011 at 7:39 pmPost count: 71
Doesn’t E.I. stand for Enormous Idiot? Sorry, was that out loud? If those people(meaning service employees) are treating you disrespectfully, then they should be ashamed of themselves. Unfortunately, there are too many people all over the service industry that are lacking in basic manners let alone customer service skills.
Don’t let them get you down! They don’t know you! Their treatment of you says more about themselves than about you. When you come across someone like that, use your imagination. Inside your head, anything goes, remember? I like to imagine things happening to them while they are being so rude. Like a giant fly going up their nose or spider camping out on their shoulder or a sneeze attack that makes them pee themselves. (Ya so I’m weird and not always very nice. I didn’t make these things happen, just imagined karma at work.)REPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 8:00 pm #99638
AnonymousInactiveFebruary 3, 2011 at 8:00 pmPost count: 14413
Please… Is there a way we can distinguish between the US and Canada folks here ….. The disability of ADHD apears to be recognized differently in both countries. As such the opportunities that may be afforded to help us through the many resources in each country appears to be quite different between the two. Hence that said Please if TotallyADD.com is lstening… Can we denote each persons Login with a flag of some sorts to clearly indicate what country the poster is from…I strongly believe this will ease some of the information gathering frustrations and help combat this syndrome of ADHD and those that needlessly suffer from it….
Oh does anyone know if I can change my njadd login name to njaddoftheUSAREPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 8:19 pm #99639
trashmanMemberFebruary 3, 2011 at 8:19 pmPost count: 546
good one . do you need a good laugh, well here goes. after feeling like an old dog I said I have a box of hair color that will help me feel a little better about my self. Well no such luck , here I sit looking like my head is on fire because the color all I wanted was to take out the grey and then it would all be dark brown again. but not in my would know I am sitting here as a carrot top. O well. then just to top it all off, I am cleaning evevry thing up and I can’t find my cell phone. and yes you all know where this is going and you would be right as I sit here and typ my mind keeps wondering off to the sound,(and yes you all would be right again I can hear the washing machine in the back round) to be fair to me if that was karma then that was not fair, because I was not talking dirty on the phone with any one so it did not need abath. ha ha lol.REPORT ABUSEFebruary 3, 2011 at 11:01 pm #99640
has any one be put on disabilitytrashman2011-01-25T15:23:47+00:00
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