Dr. Umesh Jain
is now exclusively responsible
for TotallyADD.com
and its content
Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! My Story Has anyone else had their entire life affected?

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • xephier

    When I was a child I remember being told that I “may have ADD”. I went as far as finding out what it basically was but never really put much thought into it after that. But just the other night I looked it up and it would appear that there is a good chance that I’ve had ADD my entire life and I’ve never taken medicine for it, never had any form of treatment for it.

    I have a good feeling ADD is what sabotaged my education when I was young, made it difficult to form social relationships with “normal” people and overall has left me a 33 year old male with few friends and working at McD’s for shit pay and fearing what limits that my future may hold because of ADD. I have a lot of ambition but fail at the follow-through on just about everything.

    Having ADD has been a plague upon my life and I personally find it worse than if I’d just been born straight up retarded. In a sense it’s like being retarded but with without the government benefits. Not as bad though obviously, no offense intended to the others on this site. It does largely affect my way of life and disable a lot of the potential that I could have without it.

    I mostly asked the question in the topic line cuz the first few threads I noticed were of somewhat successful people, people that did well in school, some person that ran their own business, people with friends .etc.


    Apparently, ADHD doesn’t affect IQ.  There are some really sharp people on the site, some of whom have gone on to be successful business owners, doctors, lawyers, etc.  Unfortunately, ADHD does severely impact the ability to “cash in” on one’s brain power.  It’s as if after ADHD shaves off about 20-30 IQ points, you work with what’s left.  Mildly retarded for those with average IQ to above average for those with “genius” IQs.  All perform below their potential, particularly when undiagnosed and untreated.

    The more I learned about ADHD and reflected upon my life’s choices, the more I could see how ADHD had impacted my life.  The diagnosis also explained a lot to me about myself.

    Be thankful that you found out at 33 instead of 63.  Even without an official diagnosis and medication, there is a lot you can do by educating yourself about ADHD and putting in place strategies to help compensate for your symptoms.

    I could write more, but it’s late now and last night I got distracted on ancestry.com until 2 am.  That happens a lot that I stay up too late and then get up at 7-8 am, thinking maybe I’ll take a nap in the afternoon, but I usually get busy with something and next thing, “surf’s up” on the web.

    Occasionally I think I’ll go in and throw the breakers on everything but the refrigerator just so I could sit in the dark and do nothing.  But then there’s that pesky old iPhone.


    Okay, let’s try this again….

    Hi @xephier, welcome to the forums.

    If you have ADD then you have definitely had it your whole life. You must have been born with it, unless it was caused by a brain injury. In most cases it is genetic so there would be signs of it in other members of your family as well.

    The answer to your question is yes, most of us have had it affect our whole life. The diagnosis of ADD didn’t exist when I was young. I was assessed by a psychologist at my school once and he determined that I may have a learning disability and/or emotional disorder and made a whole bunch of recommendations to the school, none of which they ever followed.

    I have never worked at anything except minimum wage food service and retail jobs. I have even resorted to telemarketing and door-to-door sales. I have never been really successful at anything. I don’t have any real world friends at the moment. The only social life I have is in cyberspace.

    I wouldn’t say that having ADD is like being retarded. Quite the opposite actually. Though there are some learning disabilities associated with ADD there is usually no significant intellectual impairment. Many people with ADD actually have above average intelligence.

    But I know what you mean. I have been frustrated my whole life by the lack of help, or even a bit of sympathy. People are more sympathetic towards an alcoholic or drug addict than someone they see as just plain lazy for no reason. No one ever seems to see that I’m drowning here and I need them to throw me a freaking rope.

    If you believe that ADD has had a negative impact on your life I would suggest you get an assessment done and get an official diagnosis. ADD/ADHD is a recognized disability and getting a diagnosis could lead to getting some help, at least in the form of medical treatment. And you will find lots of info, resources and moral support right here. You are not alone.

    And trust me, life would not have been better if you had been born with an intellectual disability. Especially if you had the misfortune to be placed in an institution. Trust me, I’ve seen what life is like on that side of the fence.


    Patte Rosebank

    There seems to be a link between ADHD and a higher IQ, possibly because when something interests us, we’re driven to learn as much as possible about it.

    With me, it’s the history of: comedy, fashion & costumes, day-to-day life, and advertising…with a minor in Warner Brothers & Fleischer cartoons, novelty songs (especially by Spike Jones & his City Slickers), and obsolete office technology.

    Too bad I couldn’t get a degree in all this.

    I got a B.A. in English at the University of Toronto…but I got my real education from going to radio comedy show tapings at the CBC, and cutting classes to watch old comedy films and read old magazines & newspapers at the reference library.

    Anybody want to hire a comedy historian with a thing for manual typewriters & fountain pens?



    I was just thinking the same thing, more or less. It occurred to me that we could use our above average IQ’s if we could remember that we have one and where we put it.

    And now I am going to turn off the iPad and go take a nap. Really, I am.


    Ya, the comment comparing ADD to being retarded wasn’t a jab at intellect at all. I for one know that I possess more brain power than a lot of those so-called normal mouth breathing bible thumpers out there. However I grow easily bored with any major learning task before I can complete it or even get far into it at all.  I tried to learn Japanese and Filipino(Tagalog) and french but didn’t get more than a handful of words down before I got bored and stopped. I tried to learn computer programing but only got to making a very very basic program before I got bored and stopped.  In my mind the end result is all I see and it seems I always just want to go from step A to step Z and can’t handle what comes in between.

    But I have an inventive mind and I often like to think outside of the box. But without the ability to focus, it’s all gone to waste.


    Completely devastated my life. Destitution, depression, homeless, endless underachiever awards. This ADD mind is not all about cracking jokes at the local comedy club. Although it can be if you catch it early-on.

    My hunch is that the Chronic Homeless population would have this faulty thinking in spades. As one ages, the neglect and incomplete projects take a massive toll on the self-image. It’s commonly known as Toxic Shame. Afterall, an entire life wasted with nothing to show of any real substance is undeniable even to the most delusional — at a certain age, you will look upon your life and wish to vomit.

    Everything is unfinished. You will never be successful in any endeavour unless you actually complete what you start — great start, lousy finish is a hallmark of ADD ADHD. I actually have a trunk filled with unfinished screenplays, product ideas, concepts up the ying-yang. Brilliant. You know what? They don’t mean a damn thing. Useless. Although they may hint at talent, they are useless. Very haunting feeling.

    Don’t take this lightly. Take corrective action immediately. Learn how to stay focused. Develop self-discipline. Finish what you start. Read and take ACTION. Don’t Take This Lightly. Have fun of course, but you must understand the results of un-bridled ADD ADHD and faulty thinking in general will truly deliver you a regretful human experience.

    And now that you know, what will you choose? Will you deploy the tips/tricks/strategies/medications ? Or will you also loose interest in that as well? There’s the true test now that you know. You may even decide to put this off for awhile. Get back to it later maybe.

    I say that as someone who hits 50 years old… devastated and destroyed. Former newspaper editor, copywriter and smartass self-medicator for many years.  Potential unrealized is a terrible legacy — I wish I could turn back the clock and Begin Again.

    But for now, because I now know, I’ll stay focused on small do-able tasks with a Dollar Store Egg Timer and hope like hell I can rise above Toxic Shame to see into next week. Giving-up is no longer an option. Although it seemed like a good one for 50 years.



    Right there with you. Except for the homeless part but that’s only because my parents never kicked me out, even when I was unemployed and digging change out from under the couch cushions to pay for my comic books.

    You clearly have some talent with words. Maybe you should dig out some of those unfinished screen plays and see what you can do with them. Or scrap them all and start fresh. I have found that letting go helps a lot. The weight of all that unfinished stuff really slows you down and holds you back.


    “And now that you know, what will you choose? Will you deploy the tips/tricks/strategies/medications ? Or will you also loose interest in that as well? There’s the true test now that you know. You may even decide to put this off for awhile. Get back to it later maybe.”

    You got me there, as much as I hate to say it, there’s a good chance that I’ll end up putting it off for a while. Although with summer kicking in (finally) I may get up the energy to hit up the doc and get it diagnosed. In the winter I have no energy for anything at all, there’s three places I go, work, home and wal-mart for food.


    Affected. Yes.

    I was diagnosed with Dyslexia at 8,  ADD at 50 and Asperger’s at 56.

    Since being diagnosed and treated, my life has improved TREMENDOUSLY!

    I am still kind of mad at God for giving me a defective brain, but that is mostly because I think these afflictions are a curse, and see no purpose for having them.

    KC5JCK may be on to something. I think a refinement of his formula might be:

    BASE IQ * (.80)  =ADHD adjusted IQ

    That is just the ADD/ADHD factor.

    ADHD adjusted IQ * (.95)^N  = Perceived IQ

    Where N is the number of additional persistent developmental disorders you may have.

    I haven’t thought about this much 😛


    Um…Okay, yeah. I don’t do math.

    It’s not really so much that ADHD shaves off IQ points but rather that it makes it more difficult to use all of what you have. Or something like that. It’s bed time.

    But what I wanted to say was that putting it off, what you learned….. I forget.

    Yup. Brain gone bye bye. Night Night time.

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