Have I gotten a diagnose? At least im on my way.

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone!

Tonight I googled ADHD, as ive done so many times before, and surprisingly, this website popped up as first on the list. I clicked cos it mentioned something about adult ADHD, and I was expecting either one of these “dont touch the drugs and sort it out by yourself” sites or the “we are the drug company, and we are best at informing you what you might have so you can take our drug” sites.

But this is…by faaaar..the best and most informative site I have ever seen, and has made me so much more confident and assured that “this is ok” and “medication is ok”. So thank you so much. It had to come from Canada

That said, I am still unsure whether or not I’ve gotten the diagnose. I’ve been to two different physicians and two sets of psychiatric “institiutions” some years ago because i suspected ADD. in both instances they concluded that i was just “borderline” ADD, and that it would probably work itself out. Now, some years passed by, i finished my studies and started working as a pre-school teacher (lovin that chaos ). i thought; “sure, its probably the disorganized student-life thats making everything chaotic, and makes things so difficult. But when i started working, it was just worse, because it became so much more obvious what i couldnt handle. So i went to a new physician, and without holding back i told him all the difficulties I’d been having. He referered on to a psychiatrist, who said after a short 25 question test said that we should start the process of medicating, after a few more medical tests (EKG, blood pressure and so on).

So thats where i’m at right now. I’m waiting to have a heart ultrasound done, but after that, im probably starting up with ritalin. But my question is, if anybody has managed to read through my incoherent ramblings; Have I got the diagnose, or are the drugs also a part of the diagnostics? and how open should I be? I have a serious problem holdning information like this back..

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[Anonymous]

Of course I am a far cry from a medical expert… I am a lot better with numbers then people! But intuitively, I’d have a tendency to think that if someone prescribed you medicine… that’s to treat something they found. Which implies a diagnostic…

Of course the simple answer is: Ask your medical practitionner when you next see him/her.

Then again, that’s just my 0,02 $

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[Anonymous]

Hi Alain!

Well youre 0,02 bucks is cheaper than the psychiatrist, thats for sure. Anyways, I tend to agree with you. Just being an impatient patient Most of all I just wanted to unload whats been going on for the last years, and especially the last months. And what better place to do it here. Really great site. Gonna refer everyone with questions to this site, like “silence ignoramus, go visit totallyadd.com”.

Anyways, gonna update this thread as things progresses. Next step is heart ultrasound.

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[Anonymous]

Good luck!

(or is it bad luck to wish for good luck? if so.. break a leg!

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[Anonymous]

Ok, so I’ve been speaking to my psychiatrist, and he/we decided ADD is my “process”diagnosis. And since then my mood has been swinging like crazy. Im probably starting medication around 20th of may, and since the phonecall where we decided to “call it ADD, I’ve sorts of just dropped everything. I’ve stopped trying to live like I did before, and just let myself go. Im depressive at one moment, and in a super mood the other moment. And my mind cant stop thinking about everything. “Why didnt someone sort this out 15 years ago when I lit my room on fire?”, or “why didnt someone get it when I broke into a mall when i was 13?”

I dunno, but I’m kind of justifying my current behaviour with the fact that im starting with ritalin in two weeks, while at the same time I know I should try to “behave”. At the same time I want to “feel” what ADD is, if you get my drift. I have such a bad conscience about it, especially since my girlfriend gets the worst of it. Which makes my depressions worse because I know I should “behave”. So its a bad cirkle.

And at the same time, I have no idea what the medication is supposed to do for me, which frustrates me even more. It doesnt change who I am, but it is supposed to do me good. But what is defined within “good”?

I am proud of one thing though; i’ve been open about it. Almost too much. Telling everybody about it. But then again, Im afraid that my social status will in the future be “the guy with ADD”.

So, currently, I am emotionally unstable, taking it out on my girlfriend, doubting the relationship, doubting everything really, see myself as a failure, waiting for medication, dont know what to expect, and more or less just f***** up.

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[Patte Rosebank]

Hey, that sounds like what we all go through when we first get the diagnosis! It’s like we’ve gotten a great new toy, and we’re excited and scared and happy and sad, all at the same time. And we want to tell the world about it. I’m told that new parents are the same way. I wouldn’t know. I’m a confirmed singleton, and I wouldn’t have a child in my home.

You don’t need to do anything to “feel” what ADD is. It’s your “normal” state, and has been for most of your life. You can now understand why you did stuff like setting your room on fire or breaking into a mall, but it’s a waste of energy to give in too much to feelings of having “wasted” years because nobody figured out that this was the reason for your behaviour. Acknowledge those feelings, sure. But if you focus too much on them, you’ll make yourself feel really bad. Better to think of all the great years you have ahead of you, now that you’ve been diagnosed and are starting treatment.

Medication is supposed to stimulate the parts of your brain that need stimulation in order to give you focus and clarity. It’s kind of like when you put on a pair of glasses for the first time and realize that this is how you’re supposed to be able to see things. “Normal” people are calm most of the time, but fall apart in a crisis. A person with ADD is the calmest person around in a crisis, but is a nervous wreck when things are calm. It’s just that our brains need stimulation, and when we don’t get it, we have trouble functioning. Medication will not do everything for you. It’ll just make it easier for you to implement the other coping strategies to deal with your problems of impulsiveness, concentration, organization and motivation.

Having ADD is exciting, as well as frustrating. “Normal” people’s brains work in a very linear, boring fashion. They go from point A to point B to point C, and so on. They get where they’re going, very efficiently, but they miss a lot of scenery. An ADD person’s brain is like the internet. We start at point A, go to point B, then see that point Q looks interesting so we go to it, then see that point 47 is interesting, so we go over to it…and before we know it, we’ve gotten many steps away from our original journey, but we’ve discovered some really cool stuff along the way.

So you’re not “the guy with ADD”. You’re the guy with the “internet brain”!

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[Donna Jean]

I too am learning that I have always had ADD and now I have started medication, it has helped but there is so much info that the speed of my mind that usually goes 100 miles per hr, is now at 200 miles per hr. The medication has allowed me to focus enough to read and retain the information. I am halfway through “Delivered from Distraction” and I bought the book called “Scattered Minds” to read (my therapist told me to read it in 2007) when I finish the one I’m on now. I could never finish a book in my life before.

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[Anonymous]

I haven’t been depressed a single time since figuring all of this out and educating myself about it.

I still obsess over conversations, meetings that didn’t go perfectly, or stuff I haven’t finished doing yet–but now I spend about 1/10th of the time doing it than I used to.

When bad memories from the past resurface–you know, the stuff that some of us tend to beat ourselves up about–I’m able to recognize the reasons for my own past behavior and reactions and bury it for good. I’m also sometimes able to figure out why other people reacted to me in the way they did. I’m not being haunted anymore.

It’s almost as if my inner-child is finally able to listen to my inner-adult. Or is it that my inner-parent finally knows the right thing to say?

Whatever it is, I’m happy again. But it’s not that manic euphoria. It’s a contentment that isn’t fleeting. I’m okay, just different.

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[Anonymous]

I have read “Delivered from Distraction” and it was one of the best books I have read. I have been living in hell the last 3 years and could not figure out is it me or the rest of the world. I was just recently diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and started medication which I must say that now I know it was me and not the rest of the world! Not knowing why I was failing at my jobs or my marriage was killing me along with trying very hard to see what others were seeing and just couldn’t. I could not describe what was going on with me to my wife, could not develop a picture to show her what I was actually seeing compared to what she was. I am now educating myself, and with medication, the grace of God and my beautiful wife I will be able to be ME in life! My wife is also educating herself and understanding they what’s and why’s for ADD/ADHD which is helping me tremdously. By no means am I using this as the only excuse for my behavior but it explains a lot as to why acted in the ways that I did. Just happy that I have a direction, a clear vision from this day forward.

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[Anonymous]

Ok, I’ll keep posting on my original thread.

Well, its been two months since I started using medication (ritalin). To begin with I got a prescription of 30 tabs and a scheme to follow, to slowly up the dosage until i found those doses that fitted me best. What I’ve learned during that process is that dosage is really individual, which also makes my own personal responsibility greater. And also somewhat more difficult to explain to family and friends that you yourself decide how much drugs you are on, in difference with other drugs where the dosage is already decided by your doctor. Currently I’m on 20mg at 08.00 and 12.00, and 10mg 16.00 and 20.00. 20.00 depends if im at home or in a social/work situation.

What have I experienced?

Positive effects firstly then

Calm. Focus. And effectivity. Last one bothers me to some extent, but I’ll come back to you on that one. Firstly, I feel calm. On 20mg it takes effect after about 20-40 minutes, depending on if I’ve eaten or not. You know the feeling that youre juggling a million balls in the air, and your afraid to loose them when everybody is looking? Well, now im not juggling. And I’m not afraid. Now tasks are like dominoes lying down. You just put them after eachother, and remove them as you finish the tasks. Focus is there too.

And here comes the sliding transition to the few negative effects. I mentioned effectivity as a positive effect. And it is. Definitly. You get stuff done much faster than before, you make decitions better AND faster than before. And best of all, you know it. But sometimes I feel like “maybe im on speed?”. I’ve never tried “speed/amphetamine” as a recreatonal drug, but sometimes it feels like things go so fast that I’m thinking..do i really have add? But again I’m convinced I have it, because..well, look above on the other positive effects.

Negative effects?

Few. Dry mouth, so remember to drink a lot. This probably is different from person to person, but for me its a lot. well, not a lot, but when spitting, the spit is like cream. But I’ve read that its mostly temporary, and that when I start on concerta (when ive found my optimal dosage) it goes away.

Second one is lack of appetite. This has a negative side, but I guess its normal.. Now, we dont have a scale in our house, but I’m fairly sure I’ve lost a little bit. I feel a bit skinny. Not to much, maybe 5 kilos..but I feel I can see it. Now, the explanation is probably that when I was not using ritalin, my body needed more food becaue my metabolism was higher. Now its normal, and i have to remember to eat right. Lack of hunger makes it easier also to eat right. But be careful! Also, after a 2 day special forces tryout (in the homeguard ), where I worked out a lot, my muscle mass seemed to increase..my GF was like “WTF?!”. Me as well. So I guess the energy from food goes where it’s supposed to go, instead of being used for something else…dunno, this is just thoughts. If someone has something to add to this, then be my guest to share your thoughts.

Also, from being someone who was constanly trying and then giving up, Ive become someone why tries, completes and gets a better self esteem. The house still looks like a mess, but i contribute, and it doesnt look like a mess just because of me My realtionship and my view of it is great. I just feel….complete. And self confident. And right, not wrong.

Well, gotta stop there. I have things to do (of course). Any questions you have, or views, feel free

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