Help!

[Anonymous]

I’m 20 years old and got diagnosed with ADHD about two months ago. I’ve tried everything and am managing it well enough but would like some extra help with concentration and focus. I would like to try out medication to see if it helps. I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday at home, but I am going back to Hamilton next week for school from Ottawa, so I’m not sure if I should try medication without my doctor close at hand.

The other problem is my family doesn’t support me. I only told them my diagnosis after the testing was over and they were mad that I did it. My mom took my diagnosis papers away so I can’t show the doctor to get prescribed something, so now I don’t know what to do. It is upsetting me that none of my family take this seriously. They keep talking about how I’ll be an addicted zombie. I am trying to grow up and be an adult and choose for myself and take control of my life, but they won’t let me.

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[Anonymous]

At 20 years old, you are definitely entitled to choose for yourself. You’ve raised excellent points, but you need to talk with your doctor about it. And your parents don’t need to be involved. Call whomever diagnosed you and get the paperwork faxed asap to your doctor, or call your doctor’s office and ask them to contact the diagnosing doc to get a copy. They are your medical records, not your parents.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks, I never thought of that! I emailed the psychologist and am waiting for a reply.

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[Anonymous]

I had similar problems with my parents in the mid-70s when I was away at university. I wouldn’t recommend being confrontive with them, but when the time feels right, you might gently but firmly assert your feelings.

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[kc5jck]

No-dope is right, exactly what I would have said. I would further go on to say that Rick has a quiz for your parents which may be useful.

http://totallyadd.com/quiz-for-idiots/

and that any ill effects and bad side effects of drugs used for the treatment for ADHD go away almost immediately after you stop taking the drug. At least, I know this is true for Adderall.

I have a son your age in college and he cannot function without his meds. I am truly sorry we did not know sooner and get him on meds when he started first grade.

Check http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2083#post-18417 for more information.

And let us know how your are doing.

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[Anonymous]

kc, thanks for posting that, although I don’t really think she should ask her parents to do the quiz!

I forgot to mention that I dropped out of university (I was in a honours music performance program), have had about 26 jobs since then, most lasted less than 2 years. It took a long, long time for me to figure out what I wanted to do (work for myself, doing creative work). That wasn’t before paying for additional training and attempting to work in that field, many false starts and stops. Being diagnosed earlier in life and having support and appropriate treatment would have been nice. But my parents were clueless about it and it wasn’t on the radar in the 60s as far as I know.

Scattybird posted to someone in the UK that colleges and universities have support in place for people with this sort of disorder. So Danika, please do check in with your student services when you get to Hamilton and see what’s available, you might be able to get extensions on exams, work assignments, even a tutor to help out. It’s important to know that you don’t need to suffer alone, there is help if you look for it.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks guys!

That’s super helpful! I’m actually a Physical Education major in the university’s Education program, and I do receive academic support in a few ways, which has really helped me. I know I could keep functioning the way I am, but any extra help would be worth a try!

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[kc5jck]

Danica, your phys ed major if it involves a lot of activity is undoubtably good for you ADD brain.

My father, although he is not as sharp as he used to be, is one of the most intellegent people I have known. He will be 92 next month. He was a GP and my motherr an RN. I was ADD all over the place, but it was never mentioned or suspected. Like no-dope says 50-60 years ago it wasn’t on the radar.

Everyone who knew my dad as a child always said I was him “made all over again.” So perhaps he was ADD as well and I seemed normal to him.

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[Anonymous]

That wouldn;t surprise me! You can see it all over my family, but only one of my other family members is diagnosed.

Mom said if I went ahead and did it anyway then she would take me off the insurance so I couldn’t afford it. Lame.

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[billd]

Oddly enough, few ADHD adults who take meds for it get addicted. ADHD can and often leads to addictions of all sorts, but I’ve not seen where it’s the meds prescribed for them that’s the issue – it’s usually alcohol, gambling, sex, etc.

I’m sure no addicted zombie at 40mg of adderall a day, and neither was my son. My then wife and I fully supported the use of drugs in his case to control it. We decided that weekends off the meds might be an ok idea, but quickly found he was a mess without. I only wish as he grew up, he’d have stayed “with the program” as when he stopped any medication or treatment, the troubles began. Sounds to his brother and I like maybe the doctors in whatever country he’s in now might have decided he needed meds as last time his brother spoke with him, he said that he sounded coherent, made sense, was logical, calm, and admitted his troubles were his own doing. WOW, that’s a total 180.

It’s often hard for parents to admit, or accept – as some have this thing that it’s a reflection on the parents or parenting, there’s still stigmas that go with these things, some believe it’s an admission of failure, whatever. And in some cases, it’s a realization that one or both of them might have passed this along………. it’s hard to swallow. In my case, my mother a few months ago simply said “I bet they are right, your son, myself, my father………..” she saw the pattern, admitted it, and said she might even have it. 100% supportive.

(BTW – I’m 54 and my father is 79, my mother is in her 70s as well, so when they were young………. you were simply odd)

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[Anonymous]

That’s challenging, Danica, your mother is really trying hard to control the situation. Is there any way you can afford the meds on your own?

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[Anonymous]

Hi. Just a thought, but check OHIP, if you apply on your own, likely low to zero rate as a student .

[ at least it was long ago when we were ]

Can you get ADHD drugs at a lower / affordable rate through OHIP?

Good luck,

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[Anonymous]

Thanks guys, I went to the doctor today and I decided not to. I got the information I wanted, but I decided to go on meds when I’m not home to adjust them if needed may not be the best idea. But I will look into other options in the summer!

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[kc5jck]

Danica, I think everyone here really wants to see that you get the help you need, even if it’s only moral support and coping suggestions. Please keep us up to date, ask away on any questions you have, and vent you frustrations. This site can be a good resource. Use it.

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[Anonymous]

Good luck with your studies, like kc says, this is a good place to come if you feel you want to ask questions or vent.

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