Help! Recently Diagnosed ADHD

[catr]

I need some advice. I am 27 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have spent my entire life thinking that ADHD was a myth, which my doctor said makes sense considering that I have been coping with it my entire life. I have horrible self esteem, as I have went my entire life being told what a lazy slob I am. I never finish anything I start, I cannot tell a story without random meaningless details, I ramble a lot, I seem like a jerk because I have trouble really being invested in conversations with people, I have NO control over my emotions, and I over analyze everything in random pointless ways. Dealing with this my entire life under the impression that everyone is like me, I am a mess. I never understood why I put a difficult essay off until the last minute and then cried because I was worried I wouldn’t get it done. I thought I was just crazy when I couldn’t help being livid over someone interrupting my lavish story and telling me to get to the point. In all honesty, I thought that when I finally went to the doctor that she was going to tell me that I was bipolar. I didn’t know that everyone wasn’t always rushing through everything or why it’s such a problem that I chew on my pens. Anyway, here I am, 27, scared to death to take my meds, embarrassed that I have ADHD, angry that people think I just can’t make myself keep my house clean because I am lazy, scared that maybe my doctor was wrong, worried that I will never know what normal feels like, and stressed that I can’t just get a grip on my thoughts and emotions. My doctor started me on Concerta 18mg and sent me for a psychiatric eval to get formally tested. Psychiatrist saw me for all of 5 minutes after I talked with a nurse for 45mins asking about every detail of my life. The nurse seemed pretty concerned that I hurt peoples feelings and get in trouble because I can’t filter… to the point that I felt like she thought I was a sociopath. Psychiatrist finally comes in and says “thank you for being so honest, we are going to get you tested and go from there”. Mind you, I went to the doctor in the first place because I was failing at life and scared that I was going to lose my job because I really stink at being professional and not making mistakes. I went back to my doctor (not the psychiatrist) to follow up and let her know that the first test date they had open was several MONTHS away, for the first test, and they won’t schedule the second one until I’ve completed the first. I told her the concerta was about like I ate an m&m for breakfast… nothing. She told me to start taking two instead of one. I did. Went back for follow up and she said she thought it was time to try new medicine, I was terrified and asked her to stay on concerta and see a counselor. I am unsure how two 18mg of concerts is different than one 36mg of it, but it is. On the two 18’s I was still my normal fast self, on the one 36, I am a freaking zombie. If I had 20 clear TV’s in my head before meds, I have 20 TVs blaring that black and white fuzzy channel now. What is wrong with me????? At least when I am not on meds and I day dream, it’s semi productive… like I actually day dream about THINGS. When I am on this medicine… I literally can’t think of anything. Here’s the kicker, I am terrified to try a different medication. When I picked up concerta from the pharmacy, I felt like I was getting cocaine and being instructed how to use it discretely… HELLO?!? Tell the person that loses everything how people might want their medication? Obviously I don’t plan to leave my wallet on a table at a restaurant. So, naturally, when I told my doctor how scared I am because of the pharmacy… and that I have to keep it in my purse or ill forget to take it… and that I leave my purse in random places, she was a bit concerned. Not really sure where I was going with all of that… if concerta doesn’t work, is a stimulant my only option? The psychiatrist was mean when I told her I really wanted to get help instead of medication, she essentially told me that treatment wasn’t effective and that I would have to take medication for the rest of my life. My doctor said that I could learn to control myself enough to maybe one day not need meds, which one is true? I am horrified to take adderall. I don’t want to be addicted to something, and I don’t want to have horrible side effects like I have read about people having after they’ve taken it for a long time. At the same time, I am 27…. I would really like to get to the point that I can act and function like an adult. Please, help me make sense of my crazy.

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[eashline92]

I am 24 years old and was just recently diagnosed as well. They put me on vyvanse which I have been on for a month now and it really helps. It doesn’t solve all my problems but it makes dealing with them a lot easier. I would recommend reading “Taking Charge of Adult ADHD,” by Russell Barkley. That book gave me some helpful tips for when I am dealing with my daily struggles

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[catr]

What do you mean when you say “makes dealing with them easier”? Do the meds turn any of it off? Does it help you not act like a kid? I don’t know what to expect, and if it doesn’t turn anything off, I don’t feel like it’s worth the risk of taking a stimulant. At the same time, I would love to have a break from my brain for a good five minutes. Let’s say I feel like I have 20 tvs playing in my mind at all times… I obviously don’t want to watch the boring ones, and when a new show comes on I have to “look”, does the medicine turn off any of the tvs? Or does it just let you make yourself watch the boring channel?

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[shutterbug55]

Hello catr,

I am 60+, and I was diagnosed about 4 years ago.

If I was going to give any advise, it would be to give yourself some time to come to terms with your diagnosis. In many ways, it is like being diagnosed with terminal cancer.

WHAT?!

DID HE JUST SAY THAT?!?

yep.

The good news is nobody dies from ADD. But it has been affecting your life and you haven’t been aware of it. You have been aware, something’s wrong, or you wouldn’t have started asking questions. Now you are aware of what might be happening to you. Most people self diagnose, and get a formal diagnosis, then start on meds and counseling. So. If taking meds scares you, don’t take them, yet. Get your diagnosis, get a psychiatrist who specializes in ADD to prescribe medications.

Eventually, you will have a diagnosis and a bottle of pills. Get some counseling. They can help you get going, and deal with all of the emotional stuff going on. They can also start working on coping mechanisms. Remember the pills. Taking those will help you get some control over your brain. Recognize when your ADD symptoms are triggered, and give you time to react appropriately.

Medications that work for me, and some others here won’t necessarily work for you. Work with your psychiatrist to figure out what works for you.

Read about ADD. Become an expert. The more you know about the condition, the more you will be able to participate in your own treatment. Oh yea. BTW, there is no cure for ADD, we just work around our symptoms.

Counseling: both psycological and occupational. That will help with the feelings and coping mechanisms.

Medication: Help your brain function more normally, which will give you a chance to employ your newly learned coping mechanisms and gain some control over your life.

Read and study about ADD: Give you the knowledge to help in your treatment and work with the doctors and counselors.

I am sure there are a million things I haven’t covered, but this will get you started…

You are going to be OK

 

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[catr]

Here’s the thing, I wasn’t asking questions. I went to the doctor because my husband convinced me it was time to talk to someone and figure out what was wrong with me. I seriously thought I had early onset dementia (yes, at 27 that is what I told my doctor). I still don’t get it. ADHD?? What’s the difference in it and ADD? Does everyone not have a million thoughts all the time? Why does Concerta make me feel like a zombie? The pharmacist told me that people take it to stay up all night… I could take one of those 36mg ones and fall asleep like id ran a marathon. And I read that you can become dependent on the medication… that is SCARY! I just don’t know what expectation to have, because obviously I don’t understand what normal is.

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[shutterbug55]

I can’t say for sure, but no. neural typical minds don’t think nearly as fast or on as many things at the same time as we do.

I tell a story: My neighbor lost his license a while ago. He rides his lawn mower to the store to get Milk, Bread, and Eggs for his wife. At two miles an hour, he gets there and back in about 3 hours. Along the way, he sees bugs, rocks, and trees. He gets back home and delivers the groceries. That is how the normal mind works.

An ADD mind is like a Ferrari with no breaks, in 6th gear, doing 240 mph. In that 3 hours, we could go from Seattle to Spokane and back. See the gorge, the wheat fields, wind turbines, and some really great mountains. After about 6 hours, we come home talking about all our cool adventures and the things we learned and saw. “What about the Groceries?” they say. “What about the cool stuff I saw!” we say. We are driven by what is interesting, because that wakes up our brains. They are driven by what is important.

This is nothing to be embarrassed over. No more than a diabetic should be embarrassed. It is how we are wired. We had no choice in the matter and there was NOTHING our parents did or did not do to make us the way we are.

The H in ADHD stands for Hyperactivity. Meaning some of us can’t sit still, or quiet our thoughts. Medication should help, but if you are experiencing side-effects that overshadow the benefits of taking meds, talk to your doctor and switch meds.

Addiction is where you take drugs against all warnings  and advice from a doctor to get an effect or high AT THE COST OF YOUR HEALTH. Dependence is where you take drugs to help you live normally, under the care and advice from a doctor. A Diabetic is not addicted to insulin, they are dependent.

Our brains work the way they do because our brains do not make enough Dopamine and Norepinephrine. Our brains also have too many destructive receptors for those two endorphins. The combination makes us the way we are. The medications the doctors prescribe for us, make our brains produce these chemicals so we can function.

Read about the condition

Hope this helps.

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