Holding yourself accountable

[Stephen]

I would be interested in your thoughts on this: How do you honour a commitment you’ve made to yourself?

For example: I have a project that’s due in a couple of weeks. I know I’m prone to overwhelming myself so I’ve broken the project down into smaller chunks. I’ve scheduled the first chunk of the project at a specific time on a specific day. When that day and time comes around I start reading blogs, going for coffee, playing video games – anything but the thing I’VE “COMMITTED” TO DOING. It’s like hitting the snooze bar on work.

I’m self employed and work from home (I’m a web designer) and without the external pressure of a deadline imposed by someone else I’ll put the work off as long as I can. Eventually, the project is due and I need to hammer on it to get it done on time. The work is never as good as I think it could be and that bothers me to no end. When I had a 9-5 job this wasn’t as much as an issue as I had others that I was accountable to.

Now I recognize all my ADD behaviour and I know why I do what I do but that doesn’t get me to follow through when I tell myself I’m going to. Aside from the obvious problems that arise from this behaviour, the worst part is how I feel about myself for not doing the thing I said I was going to do. I try to not beat myself up over it but it’s hard when you’ve been doing that for years.

How do you honour your own self imposed commitments and take action when you say you want to?

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[Lindstr7]

Self Imposed Commitments…..Yikes, anxiety trigger button! You might want to ask yourself first off …Do you enjoy your work? Its always harder to do something you dont really enjoy. Does thinking about how pleased your client will be with the finished product give you a sense of pride in your work? You might want to examine that first as that might be an underlying motivation killer if you don’t.

I know what you’re talking about as far as hitting the snooze button when the time to act finally arrives. My PR (pre-ritalin) self would convince myself that I could procrastinate this and that…..shuffle this or that commitment til such and such a date, but when that time arrived….. panic…..anxiety……then the wheels would start turning as to what excuse I will use and then, pressured temporarily relieved, I’d put it off even longer. It was a vicious cycle repeated over and over and over again. In the end, nothing would get done and I would be extremely down on myself making it harder and harder to bounce back.

I know some people here have techniques (see Tools) to help keep themselves on track, little things to trick themselves, like setting their clock ahead, etc. For me, it was the medication that helped me think more realistically about time and what I can accomplish in X amount of time. The synapses finally fired and connected. I now set my alarm throughout the day to remind myself of little things and do them RIGHT THEN. Then its one thing (even if its a little thing), I can cross off my list and relieve a little pressure. Working at home might be a major distraction with all the temptations (video games, tv, web, youtube, refrigerator, whatever), have you considered renting or sharing an office space with others in your line of work? Shared office space would give you a place more conducive to being productive. Well, I’m about to drop off here and I’m probably rambling incoherently. Poke around here and use all the tools available, ie, videos (enlightening, amusing, educational) and visit often…loads of support here. Good Night!

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[drakeadonian]

dont make commitments.Its unrealistic and leads to disapointment for others andcauses us to beat ourselves up

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[allan wallace]

*gulp* Keeping oneself accountable? *runs away* 😆

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[g.laiya]

agreed – it’s a pretty scary idea.

one thing i’ve done on a few occasions(really need to do it a lot more though) is having an “accountability partner” – a friend, a coach, a relative, someone on this site or another – whatever works, and you set a day/time at which time you will have accomplished your task. also it is suggested to “bookend it”. in other words, communicate with your partner before and after the event.

for example, i want to find another job. i needed to update my cv and send it out to prospective employers. i agreed to a time that i’d have my cv updated, and when it was done sent an email with a copy of it to my partner/coach. then, there is a particular person i was thinking could be a good potential source of referrals. i need to make a committment when i am going to call to make an appointment for an interview/presentation. let my partner know i’ve made the appointment. and then “bookend” the interview by communicating before the event(make sure my heads in the right place), and follow up with communication after. how didi it go / what did i learn from the experience/what’s the next step.

even when i get side tracked(which i often do) it still helps to have an accountability partner as an aide to keep moving in the right direction, to manage the overwhelm that many of us suffer from, to limit (though perhaps not completely eliminate) the procrastiation….

it’s been a while since i’ve been in touch with my coach/partner….it’s kind of been one thing after another…..but i know i felt generally more positive and productive and on track when i was meeting once a week, and when i was feeling stuck, he helps me to find a way to go forward.

well, gotta run – ttfn!

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