How do I move on?

[Anonymous]

I was diagnosed at age 6 started on Ritalin it helped at school but, mother didn’t want me to be a zombie as she called it and took me off the meds. That was the pivotal moment in my youth that started me on a path of self hatred, acting out by stealing, acting out by being destructive, disruptive, lying, and later… sex, smoking, abusing alcohol, there was always wild turkey, scotch, and wine around the house in the 3rd grade I had a teacher put me UNDER A DESK, yes I said under within the first five minutes of class, and as I recall this I’m shaking so bad it difficult to type.

She sat on top of the desk and made me stay there for the remainder of the class like that.

I’m not on the on the verge of tears I’m actually crying remembering that span of time. I was so humiliated. I got kicked out three schools before I was in the seventh grade and my parents and (I use that term lightly) was forced to send me to a private school that was great, the teacher/student ratio 1-15 or so and I excelled much to my delight . I thought life was changing for the better,

I was wrong.

After a year a private school and straight A’s I was put back in the public system, and my life literally went to hell, a month into the eight grade I got into several fights, the last one with a teacher and principal who just happen to be black and “Dear ole dad” an extreme racist, abusive, mentally as well as physically and a pedophile, lucky for me his preference was female not so lucky for my old sisters and cousins I found out later and I’m now 46 been married for 28 yrs to a wonderful woman, God Bless her and my 3 children, where was I ???

How do I move on without letting my past control my present / future? I’ve been through at least 20 jobs in 30 yrs including self employed I’ve lost 2 good bussiness’s I’m great at most anything I do usually end up making people around me look like their lazy, but still can’t find anything or any place of employment I fit in and I feel I’m circling the drain once again been unemployed since Christmas 2010, I been on meds for the last 6 years and they help but ……..

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

~ Sir Winston Churchill

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[Anonymous]

Honestly, it sounds like you have a few issues outside of the ADHD-related abuse that you’re dealing with. Have you seen anybody to help you address those issues (like the guilt it sounds like you’re experiencing because you escaped some of the abuse that your sisters had to endure)? I’m sorry that you and your siblings had to go through all of that.

But with regard to the work thing: being great at most anything you do is not the same as enjoying what you do.

What type of work gives you the most pleasure and satisfaction? I think you should figure out the answer to that and then pursue it with the kind of laser beam intensity that only an interested ADHDer can muster. In a way, being unemployed already could be a tiny bit of an advantage.

I would love to switch careers and do what I really want to be doing, but since I’m already employed in a job that keeps me very busy, I don’t have time (between working 40-50 hours per week and trying to keep my apartment clean) to do what I really want to be doing. Sometimes I think losing my job would be a blessing in disguise.

I wish you all the best in getting your life sorted out. If you succeed, it will have been worth all the pain. *hugs*

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[Anonymous]

a few issues, Brentitude you have no idea I only skimmed the surface if I didn’t hate typing so mush I’m sure I could write a best seller. thanks for the advice BTW!

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[Anonymous]

There are other ways, you know. Dictate your story and get someone else to transcribe it for you. Write it longhand.

I have that kind of life story too, where people have said to me so many times, “you should write a book about it”. The only reason I would be interested in doing that is if I knew it would help someone else. It’s just too painful to dredge it all up otherwise.

PS Third grade was a b*tch, wasn’t it??

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[Anonymous]

hit the music teacher with a desk and put on six weeks leave it i was,and wasn’t lookin” up! deep south………Post Desegragtion ??? It was tuff on everybody, the first grade I actually past was the 7th at the private school and wasn’t placed… I had sever anger issues and 165lbs 5’11 and manhandled grown men weekly RYDC @15 for a eval, and liked it soooo.. much that I stay 29 more 26 of which was in soli

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[Anonymous]

3 instances with LOE’s

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[Anonymous]

LOE? Lesbians On Ecstasy? Just kidding, but what does it stand for?

Sounds like you’ve had a major rough life. I hope things get better from here on.

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[Anonymous]

Local Law Enforcement

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