How to ask for patience

[Anonymous]

So, I just found out (because my wife actually watched Dr Oz and pointed it out to me) that I may have ADHD. Most of the symptoms seem to fit me like a glove and explain a lot about my life. I did a bunch of research and everything seems to fit the more I look into it. A lot of things that have happened I never could explain, this finally does. ( like how around grade 2 I apparently became the “weird” kid in school)

However, I am still figuring out how to get diagnosed officially in Winnipeg, Manitoba and what it entails.

So I think a lot of the conflict with my wife occurs because of this. Other people’s experiences with a married ADHD spouse seem to be verbatim things my wife says at least weekly, sometimes daily.

How do you ask a significant other to have a little patience? I started to talk to her about it and she assumed I just found a new excuse for everything and stopped listening. What do I do for the next couple months till I can find out for sure if this is my explanation finally?

Anyone know how to proceed under Manitoba healthcare without dropping tons of cash for testing?

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[Anonymous]

I bought my partner “ADHD for Dummies”, which has helped a lot. We do still have issues over some aspects of it, but reading that book was very helpful as far as him understanding a lot of my wackiness goes.

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[trashman]

hi I live in winnipeg i had my doctor refer me to a psychiatrist and them got her to refer me for testing sill wating it is atleased 7months as of june my doc is so sure she is already giving me adhd meds. so go see your doc.

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[Anonymous]

Oh, is this the Winterpeggers’ blog page? lol I’ve been out of province so long now I couldn’t make any recommendations to help you out but trashman is right. If your family MD knows you well at all they may feel confident enough to go ahead and at least get you started on meds (I’m assuming that’s why you want an official diagnosis).

When I mentioned this stuff to my family MD here in ON, she immediately pulled out a pamphlet on Adult ADHD. At least some of the family physicians are aware of it now and as Dr. J mentioned on the medication Webinar, family docs are well-trained enough to be the ones totally in control of the meds as long as their are no comorbidities to the ADD.

See if a talk with the family doctor can get something rolling. Good luck!

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[Anonymous]

Sadly, met my family doctor once and it was my son’s appointment. Not a big fan of his manner, so I guess I may be hunting for a better one. Did however find out some I have access to some “counseling” through work, gonna start there and see where it takes me. I figure worst case I’ll have a history so I can ask a doc for a referral to that person.

I’ll try and keep everyone posted how it goes at least. Wish me luck.

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[trashman]

I dont know if coffee can go wrong so I will tell you where i started this what seams like a bad trip . I found myself in aplace of deep worthlesness and sad and overwhelmed. had the time so wanted to know if ihad alearning problem or was i just dumd after a lomg talk with a great person named margeret she gave me a place to get started. seeing that my adhd is not as life stoping or as bad as things could be . having said that with my reading and writing trouble i keep trying . words come easy to my head but to write them or typ or read iam very slo i always keep thinking i was just alittle dumb. knowning that there is more to this helps. sorry for getting sidetracked . back to margeret you can find her at the learning disabilities association of manitoba @617 Erin ST phone is 204 774 1821 there are lots of great people there to help you to . hope you find a new doc soon let me know how you make out.

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[Anonymous]

Got a good news call this morning. The doc I was refered to is gonnna have me in by mid Oct. could have been sooner but my schedule is rather random and didn’t have a way to make it fit. So, just gotta hang in for now.

Now if only the wife would actually support this instead of assuming I’m making excuses. I’ll be the first to admit I make a lot of excuses for my mistakes. But maybe I just assumed she would be happy for a way for me to fix my issues and actually improve since I’ve been failing to fix anything this long.

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[Anonymous]

You asked about patience. I too had this “problem” of thinking that everyone arount me was normal and that they had to be patient with me. Then my therapist put it in terms that i could understand and that I could share with other.

ADHD is not just a problem. It is a documented illness. And being so, there is not much you can do to cure it. You may, with medication, get reasonable control of it.

If you had cancer, do you think that those around you would blame you for getting it? Probably not. Well it is the same with ADHD .

We’ve done nothing wrong. nothing to bring this on ourselves.

Once we realize this and get others to do the same, the whole process should be much easier on them and us.

I hope this helps. I know it helped me.

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[Anonymous]

I have in my mind cam to a kind of solution on this ahhd thingie…

It is a computer software much much more sophisticated one as we can all agree..

It isn’t a illness in the way as like something more profoundly seen and otwarly diagnosed…

Why.. well it is in us.. It’s more than a illness it is something which controls us if we ain’t controlling it ourselves..

Some need medications to get it contolled.. some don’t.. or some are in the between..

I haven’t used meds because i have not got the diagnose yet.. I try to see how long i can take this before medication is more than needed…

Or better said.. when i get myself getting it…

When we are kids we are coming to the personalities which all in the terms in normality are doing.. in the childhood there isn’t so much harm of it… but when when others came to address you to be different you may start acting like one.. forgetting that school is different than home environment.. you shouldn’t be yourself but in terms others pount to you… And when you don’t do as said…. well crash bum bang…

We are thoughtful.. we have innerself which likes to be regulated by others but not by ourself.. Why..? because who likes to be bossed by oneself… when someone who is your friend can do it much better and it’s so much fun….

Growing and that can turn upside down… You seem to be bnossed by all the others when the only one you like youself to boss over you won’t do it anymore.. Says “It is wrong towards you…” and you can’t understand it… then you you just seem to be the outcast the one who doesn’t understand or you just isolate yourself from the others….

Well.. this should be short one but i surely try to make it be kind of lecture ssooorryy…

Yes.. that frist two sentences from tymcmurray.. everyone else and me.. always others and me.. against others.. the one not understood right..

if one waits others to understand just the thought of understanding there cannot be understanding in anyway..

Why? When one wait others tpo understand what you should understand first before others it is the circle which doesn’t end before someone says.. “This ain’t right… this ain’t fair..” If one likes to be understood one has to say/do/wait/.. like seeing things from a mirror when one understands oneself.. others don’t need to anymore… because when one is one and not in two’s it is whole.. and it can be understood better than being half sided…

When one reflects the thought tpo others of getting understood it is onesef which is saying to undersnat it.. because when one understands innerself and it’s ways.. then one can come to terms how to share it.. and to what extent.

All the best for ya…

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[Anonymous]

As a really random aside, if you score yourself really high on the Self Report Scales (and mean it) is it likely you do have it, or is it common for people to think they have it and think it explains a lot going all the way back to childhood but turn out not to. is it pretty likely the self diagnosis is right or do people still get it wrong a lot?

That’s my biggest fear is that I’m actually wrong or making it up and not realizing it. Med student syndrome I think is the name for it.

Anyone know how often it happens?

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[Anonymous]

So, update for anyone reading. I guess I’m the one who needed a little more patience. I had requested the CHADD information packet for adults and my wife read through the pamphlet on ADHD, and agrees that I probably have it since I match every symptom.

So, now I just have to wait for the Doc to put his 2 cents in.

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[Anonymous]

good for you cgw… now just be patient before to be a patient…

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