I don't like to do any work until it is very urgent or someone demands for it

[nowork]

Hi all,

I am a mom. I guess i have ADD. I try to read a lot to understand about ADD and how to help or change yourself. I am not on any medication. I sat down to think as to why am i being the way i am. I understood that i don’t like work but instant fun, no rewards mean anything to me. The best is to be alone, read on the internet,play brain games, eat what i like and just while away time. Though i managed to do 2 masters degree, get married, have a child, run a family… I still need to keep pushing myself every day to do what i need to do. Nothing motivates me. I like researching. Just wondering how come others are able to continuously work one after the other without the need to sit idle, go on the internet and read / research etc., Only huge pride or reward or recognition motivates me…which naturally no one gets for day to day ordinary works in life. I can see tge time flying by in front of my eyes but i don’t seem to be bothered until it is 4 pm when the child is back home. Then i scurry to do the dinner etc etc…i don’t like to  start something until it is immediately needed or urgent or somebody demands for it now.

Why can’t i see the big picture and wait for rewards of life like others ? Why this lazy attitude or is it smart to do very quickly and efficiently at the last moment… I save a lot of time doing this way to only waste it again on games and internet. Your thoughts, advices etc are welcome.

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[koishi]

I have the same problem. It is the reason I don’t have kids at all! I put myself through college and then university but in college it was a game for me. Study study just to prove I could do it. Then Uni was much harder, I was a direct entry which means I went into third year directly. Had no good friends there. Barely graduated because I spent so much time playing games on the computer. Now, because of my focus issues I can’t hold a job (waiting on meds) and I can barely get myself fed in the morning. My place is a mess and yet I can’t be bothered to clean because gaming is more interesting. Right now I am all about this tower defense game called bloons. At 33 yrs old. I feel like an immature failure…

I really hope someone has some tips. Also exercise is good yes yes I know. But with my anxiety issues and motivation issues, it just hasn’t been something I can do. (the idea of family watching me is very unsettling, and I have no privacy. Someone is almost always home. So if I do it when they aren’t home, the idea of not knowing when I can do it gives me more anxiety… and I have a bit of agoraphobia, plus motivation issues mean I don’t go to the gym I pay for! That said if I am going out anyhow and there is time, I always try to go to the gym but that amounts to about once every week or two when I am unemployed. When working, the structure of the day and access to a gym near work does me fine)

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[hullupoika]

Nowork — i could have written 95% of what you wrote, except I am a father of two succesful boys, and Im a 67 y.o. retiree.

I was fortunate to have a career that was mostly very challenging. Enough to give me PTSD, but I’d do it all again. I did extremely well in school in subjects i was interested in, like math and science, but just made it through on subjects like history and literature. To this day i continue to take on-line courses and attending workshops. They are in subjects that intensly enjoy.

There are a lot of good tools and videos on this site. One of my favoite bokks, which is available on this site is “I’m Not Crazy, Lazy, or Stupid”. It is a fun book to read for people like us.

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