i got to say today was a good day….

[veronica]

“today i didn’t even have to use my A.K.”

so friday afternoon i started out by getting a haircut.

something about haircuts with me… it’s like getting a fresh start.

a cleansing of sorts. hahahahaha

i picked the kids up. drove home. made biscuit pizzas with them. figured a “hands on”

dinner was the way to go for a friday. the kids and i had fun with that. turned the

boob tube on with some toons for the kids and went about starting my chores.

cleaned the kitchen, two bathrooms and sorted laundry. gave kids bath. fell asleep

with them. woke up in the morning. cooked breakfast. started on some more chores.

went with some ladies to several fabric stores. came home finished the laundry.

cooked dinner. finished more chores. gave kids bath. put them to bed…. and came out

to chill with the hubbs.

during all that i had an epiphany moment. i was hyper focused on doing my tasks

and when hubby approached me with a question i snapped at him. the conversation

went where it didn’t need to go, b/c of my reaction to a quite simple question that didn’t

need for me to be so brutal. after much conversation and hubby calming me down…

closure inevitably followed. and thus began my intrapersonal journey as to why i snapped.

at work… i am handed tasks all day long and then left alone to complete them. no one

bothers me, or interrupts my train of thought if they know that i’m in the middle of something.

at home it’s different. my children can’t come up and say “hey, mom… you got a minute?”

before they bombard me with the task in which they either need me to do, or need assistance

with themselves. and my hubby has been trying to get me to understand that perspective, but

honestly it’s one of those things that you can’t have help with… you have to figure out for

yourself.

i have to be more mindful of this. i have to remind myself to be in the present when another

person enters my space bubble. really truly stop, listen and respond accordingly. i am able to

this at work. and my epiphany moment today was that i realized that “word vomit” response

i tend to give here at home is triggered by my being so hyperfocused on something i am not

mindful of those around me. it’s the whole thing of “sometimes you act a certain way around

certain people in your life, b/c you can get away with it”. *sigh*

godfather and i had previous comments regarding this in another post. it is truly enlightening

when i can put something i express, or hear about on this site to practice and chalk it off as

a good day.

thanks to all of you for being here and telling your stories.

~v

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[Saffron]

Oh wow. Domino epiphany, veronica! (I mean, just who do my kids and partner think they are, interacting with me like that while I’m being optimally productive…)

I *really* needed to read this and become more mindful of it.

Sure hard to get those tasks done when you can’t sustain the zone-in, though!

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[Patte Rosebank]

Saturday night was an amazing night for me! I performed at a sold-out fundraiser in Oshawa. I’d been hand-picked by a performer I’d admired ever since I was a kid, to perform in her place, because she’d been double-booked and couldn’t be in Oshawa and in Ottawa at the same time. The similarity of the place names gave me a great idea for my comedy material (namely that my character’s very stupid sister had been in charge of the performer’s travel arrangements, and had messed up). The performer and I collaborated on creating more material to explain why I was there and she wasn’t. And she phoned me just before she left for Ottawa, to wish me all the best and say that she wanted to know all about it when she returned.

On Saturday night, I did about 15 minutes as my character (who had a very thick Slavic accent, and recited some terrible poems that she’d written in her capacity as her country’s poet laureate). Then, I changed into a pretty dress and returned as myself, to sing some showtunes & standards. At this point in the evening, we had what are known in the business as “technical difficulties”.

The hall was rather old, and had a rather old CD player. So partway through my first song, the backing tracks CD went screwy. I made some jokes about the situation, while they put the CD into a different CD player, and it worked fine until partway through the second song, when a fuse blew, shutting off the CD player’s power source. My response to this was, “I think somebody’s trying to tell us something. Is there anybody here who can perform an exorcism?” (At the event were two priests and a bishop, who especially enjoyed this joke.) Then I said, “Well, I’m not giving up my money note. I’ll finish the song a capella.” And I did. The audience loved it, and so did I, because for once, my glorious voice didn’t have to share the spotlight with those pesky backing tracks.

The pianist then offered to accompany me live, and I said, “Hey, improv! Cool!” Just as we were about to start, they fixed the fuse, and the CD player returned to life. I did my songs, and everyone had a great time. It’s funny how much audiences enjoy seeing performers having to adapt to technical difficulties.

After the show, many people came up to me and said they couldn’t believe how I’d been able to just laugh things off, when the CD players were acting up. That was when it occurred to me that most “normal people” (i.e., people in the corporate world—the ones who have a greater fear of giving a speech in front of an audience than they do of dying) would have been having ten fits over such things. I saw it happen plenty of times when I worked among the “normals”. But me, I just improvise jokes about it, while I figure out what to do next. This is because (a) I studied improv at the Second City, so I have the skills; and (b) what earthly good would it do me to get upset over it? I’d only make myself look bad, and make the audience feel uncomfortable.

Looking back, I’d say that having ADHD is a definite asset. At least, it was on Saturday night in Oshawa!

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[veronica]

Larynxa awe, that was a great recap of your night! i loved it!! the thing is that i feel it’s easier for me to just go with the flow (especially when things don’t work out) when i’m at work or around folks i don’t live with… but have found the minute i get in my own domicile it’s like that all changes and my “true colors” come out. i’m usually such a baby when things don’t go my way. hahahaha

however, now… that’s all changing. i think in part, b/c i’ve become way more organized now, so if things don’t go as planned, it just frees up time i’ve allotted for a task. in turn it’s a bonus, b/c that means i’ve got that whole time for something else. i call it “organized spontaneity”, total oxymoron… hahahahahaha, but it works! the other reason i think that i don’t blow things out of proportion as much is mainly my level of patience over all has increased. and i’ve been an ace at working on my impulsivity. that in itself has been an interesting journey.

Saffron i totally empathize on your point…. “Sure hard to get those tasks done when you can’t sustain the zone-in, though!” and i tried to use that “excuse” with my hubbs in our conversation. his rebuttal was that regardless, he has to be mindful also… even when he’s in the “zone” and that his response when he’s interrupted is not usually one of “word vomit”, ha! i should have seen that response comin. hee hee

alrighty, well… back to work for me. gotta love mondays!

~v

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[Patte Rosebank]

Today is definitely NOT a good day.

This morning, I got the results of a rather expensive CT scan on an upper front corner tooth that was recently root-canalled by drilling through the back of the bridgework that it’s a part of. Turns out, the tooth has a root fracture, possibly as a result of its having to be anchored to my braces (when I was a teenager) and pulled into is proper place from its original place on the roof of my mouth. Apparently, such things can weaken a root just enough that, over time (sometimes decades), it will fracture.

So, I am now facing oral surgery which will involve going in through the gum and bone, sawing off the fractured root, and removing it, just leaving its “business end” stump in the bridgework (where it was cemented).

But wait! There’s more!

The CT scan also discovered a surprise: that there’s a root infection in a crowned molar, so I have a choice of getting it root-canalled by drilling in through the crown, or simply having that crowned tooth pulled and replaced with an implant. Given my track record of failed root canals (about 80%), I’m leaning toward just having the damn thing pulled.

The pain all this is going to cause me is bad enough. But as I don’t have insurance, the Bank of Mom & Dad will be paying for all this, and, since they’re still paying for some other seriously expensive dental work I had done last year, they are definitely not happy.

The one ray of sunshine: Tonight, I’m singing a couple of comedy songs (one of which, ironically, contains the lyric, “Would you still like my smile when my teeth are all gone?”) at Bread & Circus. With all the nasty stuff going on in my personal life right now, this is going to be one amazing performance!

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[veronica]

oh my gosh girl! after reading your post i immediately went and brushed, flossed and rinsed my teef! wowsers! good luck with all of that.

hell i vote you spend the money on something else, who needs teeth anyway? that’s why they invented smoothies!! hahahahaha

((hugs)) i hope you get through all of it with the least amount of pain possible.

~v

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[Anonymous]

“i was hyper focused on doing my tasks

and when hubby approached me with a question i snapped at him. the conversation

went where it didn’t need to go, b/c of my reaction to a quite simple question that didn’t

need for me to be so brutal.”

Why do we do that, Veronica??? Everything’s going GREAT, we’re in the zone, and then the slightest little interruption can set us off! My father used to do that to me all the time. And then I caught myself doing the same thing to my wife. I’ve been tempted to say “don’t talk to me, just make me a list,” but the thought of her sitting down and thinking up $#!T for me to do absolutely TERRIFIES me.

” It’s funny how much audiences enjoy seeing performers having to adapt to technical difficulties.”

Larynxa, I think it’s that people in general enjoy watching positive people overcome. It would’ve been very easy for you to get flustered, be negative and turn into a DIVA–but you didn’t. You would have had every excuse to justify that kind of behavior and they knew it. What we have to remember is that NOBODY is better at reacting than we are–as long as we convince ourselves that we aren’t going to let anything bring us down, it won’t.

Of course, when we convince ourselves that we can’t get up, nobody else can pick us up, either.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@veronica, much as I’d love to just let things slide, I have to get all that dental work done. If I don’t, the resulting infection will lead to blindness and death. And I can think of WAY more pleasant ways to go blind and die.

Besides, my oral surgeon is a lovely Englishman, and just hearing his accent lifts my spirits. (I am a tremendous Anglophile, and hope to move to England, within the next 10 years.)

The show last night went very well. Though I was a naughty soprano and held a high note for way too long. So long, in fact, that I couldn’t find the note I was supposed to resume with, so the pianist and I had to do a little improvising until I found it again. But this is what can happen when a soprano wanks off with a high note.

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[veronica]

DogFather

Why do we do that, Veronica??? Everything’s going GREAT, we’re in the zone, and then the slightest little interruption can set us off! My father used to do that to me all the time. And then I caught myself doing the same thing to my wife. I’ve been tempted to say “don’t talk to me, just make me a list,” but the thought of her sitting down and thinking up $#!T for me to do absolutely TERRIFIES me.

oh my gosh, me too!! i have sat and thought about what it would look like for hubby to sit and actually write things he wants me to do. the list would be never ending. hahahahaha

i am soooo not about “honey, do” lists. not for him, or for myself. eventually we just get stuff done and it evens out. although, for me it takes a little longer than him to complete a task… still working on that.

and i’m still struggling to find out why… why i find the need to react in such a way when interrupted. i guess it’s mainly cuz’ i feel that there are times it took me so long to get into a groove of whatever it is i’m accomplishing. it’s difficult for peeps to understand what a struggle getting started can be sometimes. perfect example. i just got to work and i’m on here. hahahahaha. i’ve got 4 minutes till i HAVE to start working. it’s a little give and take game i play when i’ve got things that need to get done. not really looking forward to the excel spreadsheets i’m required to finish today, but i have to get her done!

Larynxa

much as I’d love to just let things slide, I have to get all that dental work done. If I don’t, the resulting infection will lead to blindness and death. And I can think of WAY more pleasant ways to go blind and die. Besides, my oral surgeon is a lovely Englishman, and just hearing his accent lifts my spirits. (I am a tremendous Anglophile, and hope to move to England, within the next 10 years.)

you know i was just playing about the “hell i vote you spend the money on something else, who needs teeth anyway?” comment right?! hahahahaha

and oh my goodness i am soooooo in love with the accents as well, although i wouldn’t necessarily call myself an Anglophile. personally I would rather immerse myself in an asian culture of some sort. i’m just weird like that. tee hee.

ok, i’m one minute past my time to start working. great! hahahaha

be well, you guys. see you Monday, if not sooner!

~v

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[Anonymous]

Oh how I relate. At least it’s gotten better since 4th grade…when a 5th-grade boy surprised me out of some dreamy state, and I slapped him in the face.

Now I have a 4- and 5-year-old and sometimes it’s just “Mom-mom-mom-mom-mom” all day…I have to step back and say, “It’s OK. This is important. Slow down. One thing at a time. Whatever is going on in your head at this time is not so terribly important, really.”

Easier said than done…

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