I have no idea what to do.

[Anonymous]

Hey guys,

I was just diagnosed with ADHD three days ago. I’m 20 years old, and beyond frustrated that I have only found this out now! Since I was 10 years old, I’ve struggled through school, having gone to three different high schools, and two different universities/colleges. I just can’t believe that no one has caught this until now.

I’m curious as to whether any of you went through an “angry” phase… and if you ever get over it? I was denied a high school graduation because I was socially expelled from my boarding high school, due to my lack of high performance. I received my diploma in the mail. Had I known I had ADHD, i could have made it through school and had a graduation… Oh the things I could have done. I guess I’m a mixture of depressed/angry.

What to doooooo! ugh.

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[Anonymous]

Hey Sadie,

I am 25 and went through a similar sort of thing when I was 20… that was the age I was first diagnosed too, and I had a tough time at university mainly due to my ADHD symptoms. I felt a lot of relief when I was first diagnosed, as well as a bit of skepticism, but the more I read about ADHD, the more I knew I related to it. I also went through an angry phase, as well as some depression. I think the only advice I can give you for getting through it is knowing that ADHD has a lot of positives…. creativity, different ways of thinking, an abundance of energy (sometimes), and a passion for life. I know these things aren’t universal among ADHDers, but these are the positives ADHD affords me and that I am grateful for. I have regrets about my time at university, but I believe I am all the stronger for going through those things. I believe that time will help make the anger melt away for you, as it did for me. I am now a stronger, more confident and successful person for it. Wishing you all the best….. things only get better with age, trust me! xx

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[Anonymous]

I didn’t discover I had ADD until I was 45 and that’s after struggling through 2 undergrad degrees and 18 yrs of hell trying and failing at job after job. So, to be able to discover this at age 20 could actually be a blessing in disguise. Just sayin . . .

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[Anonymous]

I find that this is the age where people make a lot of self discovery in general, and by that I mean the first few years of your twenties. It is the time when control of your life in more or less in your own hands and last and you can make your own decisions on the direction your life is taking. To discover that you have ADHD now might be better, not only because you found out before your were forty, but it might be better than if you had found out when you were a child. This way, ADD will not be something that is coloured by the opinions of your teachers, parents and other adults in your life. You can decide what ADD means to you and how it will affect your life. In time, I think you will be able to overcome your anger at the lost opportunities and see this for the blessing it is. There is no time to regain lost ground like that handful of years before 25.

And yes, the anger is completely normal. ADD diagnosis has been compared to the grief cycle many times by numerous experts as well as those who have experienced first hand. You will get better in time.

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[Anonymous]

I know what you’ll do… get on with the rest of your life and start to do things you couldn’t before. Your only other choice is do nothing but look back at your should have beens and stay as you have been. Something tells me you won’t like that Idea. I know I don’t.

am I upset that it wasn’t caught earlier. Yes. Have I been depressed. Sure have. I’m sure there’s not a person here that couldn’t relate to what you’re feeling. I don’t mean this in a mean spirited way but really it comes down to you do or don’t.

But 20 years old… in the grand scheme of things you have so much more ahead of you. I’m 34 and even though I don’t have as much time left I sure as gravity not going waste allot of time catching up. I’ve wanted to learn guitar for example. I have one behind me I’ve had for months but not stuck with. I look forward to getting at it. I got a car that’s sat in my driveway that I’ve been meaning to get back on the road for the last… 2-3 years. I’ve done more with it in the last couple weeks then I have in months.

What I’m getting at is you have been given a gift. You know why things have been so hard for you to achieve. There is allot that can be done for you now. Meds, support, new skills, a new start. Give’er Hell!

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