I knew, but forgot…

[Anonymous]

ok, maybe i didn’t actually forget, but it seems like a repetitive problem, where on so many levels i feel i can see the big picture and get lots done that way, but on other levels, i never seem to get enough of the details to see how it relates to other areas. It’s like i never seem to “get it”.

Anyway, i had a lot of blond jokes growing up, but since my mom is significantly undiagnosed adhd and my cousin has been on meds his entire life, nobody seemed to question why i was always so quiet. As i got older, after 4th grade, i invented my favorite word for life, “bored”, and schoolwork became more difficult. To compensate for my lack of focus to my work, i created all these organization strategies and studied hours every day. Still, i didn’t know what it felt like to be really paying attention and studying. By college, i had no social life, “studied” all the time and became sorta depressed. That’s when i was finally diagnosed, got on meds, really felt what it was like to study, and cut my studying time down to a third with better grades with a life.

Anyway, that was then. i hate taking meds, so i stopped, and thought since i didn’t have to super focus all the time, i could get by. I saw the special, on pbs, and I’m starting to realize, 34, and still trying to find a job where i can be highly creative, impactful in society, make good money, and where i don’t have to sit in an office probably has a lot to do with my add. I mean i pretty much have a two page resume in a few different fields. I’m great at all the different careers, but still nothing seems like the right fit. Part of me thinks i should just suck it up and force myself to be miserable, and the other part of me keeps jumping around looking for the perfect fit. But, maybe it’s just me. I have 90% accuracy computer skills, type at 63 wpm and am great in the office, but sitting at a desk is probably equivalent to a non athlete having to go running for a couple of hours everyday. It is such a struggle. If only the cool careers made you money.

I started out as a singer songwriter, and ran around new york city doing gigs, but that didn’t afford me a living. I also am a board certified Holistic Health Counselor, but I was constantly overwhelmed by all the different marketing i needed to do and often didn’t finish any.

I could go on with other careers.. it’s sort of funny.. I’m like the clown of careers. On some level I’ve really lived and I’m so cool to be so knowledgeable in so many areas, but on the other hand, jack of all trades master of none…

Anybody have any ideas of who i could speak to to iron out my careers? : ) Do you think meds would help not only with the details of life, but with my life as a whole?

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[Anonymous]

It’s so funny how we seem to tell each other’s stories…

I knew but I forgot, but I didn’t actually forget.

You nailed it.

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