I think I may have ADD, but my parents don’t believe it.

[duckling27]

I’m 17 and for as long as I can remember I’ve had a really hard time focusing on things for long periods of time (or short periods, really). I’ve taken every online test for ADD and they all said the same thing.
I read that predominantly inattentive ADD in girls is little harder to diagnose too, but I don’t think I’m that subtle.
I can never do one thing at a time. I always need to keep my hands busy; I constantly fidget with my hair, to the point where I unconsciously started pulling it off. I can’t stop it because I hardly notice I’m doing it.
I forget things in seconds. I‘ve been trying to write things I have to do the moment I think of them, but I usually forget to write these notes or later forget to read them. I can’t remember if I already took a pill or if I already ate lunch. I never remember the little things and 9 out of 10 times I don’t remember the big things either.
School is getting harder and my grades are getting lower. I procrastinate and then I have to hurry to get anything done. I’ve always been a good student, but I mostly just study the day before a test, learn what I need to, get an A or a B and no one ever says anything. My teachers have mentioned this to me a few times in passing, but they never seem to consider it a big problem since I get decent grades and I don’t disturb class (I’m an introvert and since I don’t pay attention to my surroundings I hardly ever listen enough to join a conversation). I guess my teachers just assume I am paying attention even if I don’t look like I am.
My friends mention it a lot more, someone could be talking to me and after a while I realize I haven’t been listening for a few minutes, but I don’t notice the moment it happens. They also notice my fidgeting a lot and always bring it up.
Also, I always loved reading, but lately even that is getting very hard to do, I can only read a few pages before my mind wanders off.
Even if I try to focus on something, a little thing drives me off and before I notice hours have gone by.
I‘ve mentioned all of this to my parents ( at home I’m no different ) and they do notice this things, but they just consider them unrelated annoyances. They hate that I leave things around the house, that I never close anything I open, my room is a bit of a mess and they could tell me to do something and in two minutes I already forgot all about it. I understand it’s not easy to deal with this, but if they’re so bothered by it why wouldn’t they want to fix it? Every time I mention ADD they just laugh it off, say I’m being silly and that all of it is just laziness. My parents chide me everytime they see me fidgeting with my hair or when I forget to do something they asked, like it was something I was choosing to do. I explain and explain but they just don’t listen.
I already made them read some articles on ADD and even though they agreed I have a lot of the symptoms they still don’t think I could have it.
My school’s counseling is very formal and intimidating, so I would never bring it up there.
Besides, if my parents don’t believe it, what would even be the point?
So, how can I get them to take me seriously?

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[lordofmylies]

Hey, What you describe sounds just like me. I am 15 and I can say the same things. I have no focus, I love to read but lately it has become really hard. I constantly forget things and I have a hard time paying attention even when people are talking directly to me. The only difference is, for as long as I can remember, I have hid these things from my parents. That makes it a lot harder to convince them that I have ADD since they don’t see the symptoms that I have. Some of my teachers have noticed and brought it up to me but like you, I am an introvert and I let them think that it was no big deal. I am going to be a sophomore and take several AP classes. This is going to make my life a lot harder since everything takes me so much longer to do and I will have a lot more homework. If you have anything that you have done that helped could you let me know? I’m sorry that I can’t say that is more helpful to you. [email removed by mod]

• This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by driddles.

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[duckling27]

@lordofmylies
Hey, regardless of anything, it’s really nice to hear from someone going through the same things.
You should try talking to your parents about this, tell them how you struggle with focusing and maybe they’ll just give you the benefit of the doubt. I know that if I ever have a kid and if he/she asked me about anything like this, I would a least check to see if there was any truth to it, talk to their teachers and friends, watch them closer… after all there’s no harm in looking into it.
As for advice, you just have to try your best for now. I know that it can be frustrating, having the capability to do something well and somehow not to. The best thing you can do is commit to a schedule. I know it must be hard to follow through with plans, but it’s worth it. You probably won’t be able to do it everytime, and that’s okay, even just a little bit can spare you a lot of trouble in the future. Also, try figuring out what works for you. I know that just sitting on a table in a silent room doesn’t work for me, so whenever I need to study I put some music on, some silly show on Netflix, sit on the couch and I just do everything a lot faster since I don’t get bored, these distractions help, they make me stay “present”. You could try this too, but maybe something else works better for you, so try figuring out what that may be and stick to it.
And reading is a bit tricky, I started to read at night when I can’t sleep and since is the only thing I can do so late (other than stare at the ceiling), it usually works out, even if I can’t focus much.
Wish that I could’ve helped you more, I hope it all works out for you.

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