I'm 37 with depression that I can't overcome, is it because of ADD?

[Anonymous]

I have never, ever, ever thought I had ADD because I was really successful in school. I got a full tuition scholarship to the university of my choice and graduated in chemistry in three years. Other than liking to tap my fingers or pencil, I’ve never been fidgety.

I am a bit forgetful, though. Someone once said to me, “You’re either really here (highly engaged), or you’re really not (I am totally oblivious to what is going on).” While playing cards, I might forget to play a vital and required card at the right time. (We’d have to backtrack since my mistake messed up the game). Since I was young I’ve been known to jump quickly from topic to totally unrelated topic and have to catch people up to my thinking.

I’ve worked as a profession organizer. But I am also one of the most disorganized (stacks here and there) organized (a place for everything…) people you know. My stacks never quite get put away.

I’ve suffered from depression since my teens, and am currently on two depression meds. I am stabilized, but that’s about as good as it gets for me. I rarely feel like I’m doing really well. I struggle to finish laundry, to start sewing projects (even though I love them), and I can only finish housework if I’m rushing to clean up for company. If I am interested in a project, I am fully focused on it — almost to the exclusion of everything else. I can’t watch TV without feeling like I have to do something, even as little as surf the net. I’ve told my husband how frustrated I am that I can’t do as much as other people. I always have lists, and they are never done. I feel like I am always behind. Deadlines are about the only things that keep me going.

This week I went to see my therapist. I had been doing really well for about a month, but tripped up recently and was doubting myself again. In the course of our visit, I mentioned that every time I am headed for a depressive episode, I buy a new planner or calendar or set a strict schedule or look up flylady, in an attempt to get my life in control. I happened to open a notebook I have dubbed “My brain,” and when she saw my lists for shopping and menus, etc. she looked at me and said, “I think you have ADD.”

I had never ever considered that. I have watched ADD and Loving It and I saw no similarities. But as I have taken some online surveys, I usually score moderately high on the inattentive part. In the past year I have started to miss appointments and be late for things — which I’ve never done before. I tend to misplace my wallet or sunglasses, but I can tell you the exact location of almost anything else in my house. I’m frustrated when my husband loses things because he wants me to hunt for it — but I know exactly where it should be, and if it’s not there I have no clue where to look.

If I look at my life the past year, I am showing lots of ADD signs. Prior to that, however, I thought that was the farthest thing from me. But now I am really wondering if I do have it, given the comorbidity of ADD with depression — especially when the depression is unresolved. I am hesitant to go to my physician about this because I really don’t fit the classical ADD profile, and as a child I was highly successful and motivated in school. I’m hoping someone out there can relate to what I am feeling and can help me understand if this is really ADD or just the result of being a busy, stay at home mom of two teenage girls, and life is getting busier every day.

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[Tiddler]

Hiya and welcome!

It will take a good specialist to unpick what is going on. ADHD has to ahve been present in childhood to be diagnosed, though of c ourse it’s possible that you happened to have schooling that really suited you so the symptoms may not have been particularly obvious in school.

However, depression does bring with it lots of similar symptoms, like forgetfulness. Have a look at the online ‘tests’ and try to answer them as you were a few years ago, perhaps, to see if this is a recent thing for you, but do speak to a doctor as, whatever is causing you to feel this way is something that you can get help with one way or the other!

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[Scattybird]

It is known that as we get older (and sorry to say this, but for women as our hormones change) ADD symptoms can be magnified.

You probably had coping strategies that you weren’t aware of before and now tthey aren’t working as well?

Just a thought (based on my personal experience).

It sounds like you need to get a diagnosis one way or another becuase it could be a contributing factor to your depression?? Again, just a thought. Tiddler is right, you need to see a professional to inpick the ADD from depression. It might be that you have just had mild symptoms and now you’re noticing them. If all that you describe is totally recent then it may not be ADD.

Good luck getting it sorted and welcome to the forum.

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