I'm a little lost, anyone here knows what I should do?

[yassmtm]

I have a professor that inspires me!

I had a final on Monday and was having a bad day at home dealing with my sister, I was so close to skip my exam but the thought of disappointing her made me go.

She’s amazing and a huge help to me, always there when I need to talk to someone (she knows I have adhd and she she gives me a bit of control, knowing I wont abuse it), I email her a lot if I have questions or if I want to see her and she always replies very kindly and seems to be eager to help me out. I’m scared that she might be just too nice and I’m abusing it but my school counsel said that I would know if she was(she’s basing it on my personality as far as she knows), but I never had anyone in my life that actually did this for me.

Should I say something to her and try to explain how she has effected my life? should I ask her to if she can be my mentor in school to help me in hard times or is that too much to ask someone. If I tell her about Monday and if I didn’t feel like I will disappoint her I wouldn’t go for my exam probably, or if I say it she might run away, I’m thinking it can be a huge burden on some people knowing that but then again she might actually get happy about it. She seems like she loves her job as a professor and if that is true then she will enjoy the fact that she has an impact on a students life. IDK I’m just brain storming here!

I’ve recently been diagnosed and my life is making a lot more sense now and I feel like I can cope better because I’m not depressed any more. my entire life I’ve been thinking that something is very wrong with me and being raised in Iran, no one knew what adhd was and non of the counsels and doctors that I went to didn’t diagnosed me with it until I started school and went to get checked for my anxiety attacks.

In my professor’s eyes I’m a hard working student and I never actually try to use my adhd as a way to escape from assignments. when my professor gave me extension it encouraged me to hyper focus for 2 days and submit it before the other students. (basically she’s my motivation – idk if that makes sense – and I don’t want to do something that she runs away from me.) does explaining work or I should just be careful not to overwhelm her and just shut up about how she has a huge impact on my life. I’m comfortable with her (she’s not my friend per se, I have asked her if she wanted coffee when I was going to her office and she nicely rejected so she is keeping it professional probably and she doesnt want me to miss understand her as a friend – again my over thinking brain!) I could just explain and tell her, “if I’m overwhelming, just let me know, I like people to be direct with me, I rather have that than a pity nice attitude haha, I want you to be a part of my academic life.” She has told me I could talk to her if I ever needed to talk to someone.

I hope I’m making sense, I talk to much and I have sooo many questions haha

and BTW, now that I know I have adhd I LOVE IT and I feel like I’m unstoppable comparing to the struggles of not knowing and just being frustrated.

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