I'm an actor, dancer, singer, and soon to be teacher….what do I do?

[Anonymous]

I am here. I am present. And I am certain I have ADHD/ADD. All my life I was labeled, “bad”, “atttention-seeker”, “loud”, “intense”, “scatterbrained”, “lazy”. “procrastinator”, “selfish”…. it goes on. I whole-heartedly believed them too. I still can’t see myself as a positive and capable human being. I can’t see myself succeeding. Yet. I am so talented. I know I am talented. I am technically what theater people say a “triple threat” performer. However, I choke in auditions and classroom rehearsals.

As I failed this part of my life. I moved on to education by accident. When I wasn’t performing I was subbing or teaching art to at-risk children. Shamefully, I admit, because my “Intense” side didn’t bother children. It gave me a place to belong.

I grew up friendless and beaten by my father a lot. I knew that I did things wrong, but still was never quite sure what it was or even why I did it. Eventually like I said, I accepted I was bad.

Here I am now, I took a special education course because I am working on licensing to be a teacher and I stumbled across the ADHD chapter and wept. I spent 3-4 weeks in depression and shock and anger. I felt like I read my whole life in that 30 pages. I walked out on the classroom when the teacher taught the lesson and went to a bathroom to ball my eyes out.

I faintly remember my parents chewing out my first grade teacher for telling them I needed to be on ritalin. I understand they didn’t want me zombied out, but couldn’t they have figured out I did have a disorder!? I troy not to blame them, back then I don’t think ADHD was fully understood.

I am now rethinking my acting career as well. The professors I had in college disliked me and were annoyed by me. My auditions and rehearsals always went wrong because I would get distracted and then not be “in the moment” as we performers call it. Back then I didn’t know why I wouldn’t stay in the moment, but now I do.

I went to a psychologist who only gave me a Browning test. SO I know I am not officially diagnosed, but he did say there was no doubt I had ADHD and definitely have ADD.

Right now it just stings inside. I mean I am relieved to know I am not “bad”, but now I am still hurt. Angry. And well. Now what? I have it and I have trouble with friendships and trouble in school with reading and with not pissing off peers. In today’s work you have to network for a job, what do I do? I annoy or make people uncomfortable.

It’s like reality played a quick and fast hard ball on my life.

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[Anonymous]

First of all, keep working on getting a diagnosis so you can get treatment. Bear in mind that treatment is not exact – what works for some doesn’t always work for others. There’s going to be trial and error until you find, bit by bit, what works for you.

Take advantage of the resources on this site. I’m new here myself, but I’ve found there to be some good gems waiting to be uncovered.

As for finding work, the system is broken. I know, I was diagnosed with ADHD after I had let another job slip away and we were trying to figure out why. It seemed to me that every job “advice” written seems to be written by salesmen. So every successful job candidate is really great at selling themselves, but not necessarily good at whatever it is they’re hired to do. I recall reading some job seeking advice written “specifically” for people with ADHD that boiled down to not only suppressing one’s ADHD shortcomings (because no hiring manager wants to hear about that, right?) but trying to spin it the other way – in other words, lying. Myself and several others called the author out on it.

The truth is, no one wants to talk to you when you’re out of work. They feel bad that they can’t help you and would rather avoid the whole unpleasant situation. Here’s a suggestion, given to me from someone I know. Instead of doing the “broken” networking thing, call people and tell them, “you know, since I have this extra time, is there anything you need done?” Don’t volunteer to do their jobs for them, but help them with errands that they are too busy to do themselves. It will not only get you “face time” with people who you might not get a foot in the door with otherwise, but it will also show them that you’re a person that can be depended on.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks for the post,

Sanam Baloch

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[Anonymous]

I used to act as a teenager to but I choked a lot. I got so anxious that I’d forget my lines I would start messing them up so when I left the production company I was working with and moved towns, I didn’t pursue it anymore for a while. Now one of the girls from my acting class is a MEGA-STAR and her face is EVERYWHERE right now because her mega-hit just came out,and it is SO DEPRESSING. It’s a constant reminder of how undiagnosed ADD effed up my dreams. I didn’t get diagnosed until last year at the age of 23. It sucks. I’m trying to get involved in the film scene of my new city but there isn’t a ton going on, and I lost my insurance so I don’t have a steady stream of my medicine anyway, so it sucks. I miss it so much, and it hurts so badly to realize how such a simple thing (diagnosis) can drastically effect your life. BUT I’ve recently made some contacts which might lead to some local film work (either in front of or behind the camera – I love both) this summer and I’m so, so excited.

Personally to deal with the social aspects of ADD I just read as much as I can about ADD symptoms and also social skills and ettiquette and I try to be hyper-concious of my behavior in public. My main problem is just talking too much and being very open – which some people love, some people find super awkward. I’ve been trying to reign it in a bit, but it takes work!

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[Patte Rosebank]

Welcome to the club! You’re in great company!

ADHD is so common in people in the arts, that it’s practically a pre-requisite. Add in all the anxiety and depression that go with struggling through life with ADHD, and you have a vast well of experience to draw on when playing characters. ADHD also gives you loads of empathy, which is another thing that comes in handy when you’re acting.

23 is still quite young. I didn’t find out until I was 41. Some people here didn’t find out until they were in their 70s! But no matter how old you are, it still sucks to find out you have it…until you learn more about all the great stuff that comes with it, and how to maximize the good stuff while minimizing the bad stuff. Not being able to afford your meds every day is pretty bad.

Depending on which meds you’re on, there may be a drug assistance plan that can help you. When I was on Concerta, it wasn’t covered at all by my government drug plan (for those, like me, on low incomes). My pharmacist told me that the manufacturer of Concerta had an assistance plan that covered whatever part of the price wasn’t covered by my drug plan. Result: I didn’t have to pay anything at all for my Concerta, which was a huge amount of money!

Ask your pharmacist if he/she knows of any drug plans like that for the meds that you’re on. Every little bit helps, right? Maybe your doctor can give you samples, which would also be free of charge. Ask and find out.

One more thing: Try not to compare yourself to others. This isn’t easy for us ADHD’ers, but we have to try. Otherwise, we’ll start into a shame spiral. We’re great at remembering all of our screw-ups, but not so great at remembering all of our triumphs. And we’re responsible for so many triumphs, because we see the world so differently from everyone else!

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[Anonymous]

Thanks!

Well my problem isn’t even the med cost, I could cover the 50$ a month if i had to (especially since I don’t take them every day because they often do some sort of damage to my brain where I can’t think for DAYS afterward – lol, it’s all such a mess!) – it’s the fact that the county psych did NOT give me a prescription with refills before she kicked me out of the practice, and my old GP would not give ADD meds either (and then his practice got shut down), so I can’t even get the prescription for my meds because the only doctor I go to is urgent care and they can’t give those sorts of meds.

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[distractedmomma]

Ok, I’m a little off topic, but seeing as some of you did acting and such, I was wondering….were you the type who didn’t want to practice, but shined the night of the show? I did a bit of acting in school, but was no fun to rehearse with. I never wanted to do it “for real”. I only went throught the motions and rehearsed in my head a lot. The night of the show, I would suprise them by doing exactly what I was supposed to and sometimes even better. We you like this or was it just me? I think the stress of the perfomance made me hyperfocus.

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[Anonymous]

I believe wholeheartedly that we are a special group of people with superabilities and supertalents. I used to be in theater when I was in high school. It was the only thing in my life that made me feel invincible. I had a step-mother that had absolutely no understanding of who I was. She sent me to a shrink to find some answers, but back in the 70’s nobody really knew what the heck ADHD was.

My advice to you, WandaB…get back into the theater. I am considering community theater myself. Forget everything negative that has ever been said to you. Make that your drive to personal happiness and acceptance. I had teachers that told me I was weird, parents of friends that openly insulted me and parents that had little faith in my accomplishments. Times have changed. I have a wonderful tight knit group of friends who love and support me, a boyfriend that rides my A.D.D. wave like a well-seasoned surfer and a father that has finally realized that his daughter IS smart and with some organization and help with focus, can accomplish anything her heart desires. = )

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Hey, Wanda B,

I’m with Larynxa on this. (As usual.) (Larynxa is smart and always has good thoughts.)

I got diagnosed at 47 and I actually was a reasonably successful actor, write, director and producer. The workload was killing me cause I didn’t know what was going on.

When I got the diagnosis I realized why I loved skit comedy and could produce more of it faster than anyone I’d met then, or since, yet could never get anywhere with all the amazing screenplay ideas that I’d have.

It will get better, IF you take it on. In fact, acting and improv are great training for a mind that does do well at listening and being present to what’s happening. In fact, in our documentary, ADD & Loving It?!, Patrick joined with and took part in an improv class at Humber College. The students were thrilled to have a Second City legend playing with them.

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[Author]

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