I'm new here and OMG all of the questions..

[adventroverted]

I’ll try not to write a novel so here goes.. I’m 34, I’m sure I’ve had ADD (inattentive) for as long as I can remember. I was formally diagnosed when I was about 27, but never stuck with treatment (hah?) I have a few family members that have it and other mental disorders. I did OK in school and most people would never know I’ve got an issue. I was smart enough to coast through with no problems and I pick up things fairly quick, but I don’t ever remember doing any actual learning or homework. I tried to go to college a few times but it never stuck. I moved out of state to go to college for whatever subject I thought would be good for me several times and it never worked out. I just couldn’t deal with classes about boring things I already knew that were required classes. I just couldn’t get past it. I learned much better on my own. I learned a lot about a lot of things to keep my mind occupied but never stuck with anything. I had a million interests but no direction toward a career. I can’t tell you how many times my Mother got frustrated that I just couldn’t pick something and stick with it. She eventually started to ignore me when I talked about something new. I thought I was just lazy.

I could pick things up really quick when taught a new subject but when most people talk to me, it’s like their words hit a rubber wall in my mind and they just don’t go through. I hear them, I just can’t absorb it. or I’ll daydream. Or that thing over there.. Or good god would they just get to the point?!

There’s tons of symptoms, you all know them. Looking back I realize I have absolutely horrible time management skills because I really have no concept of time. It’s always NOW. I get incredibly bummed out when I realize that I’m almost 35 and have accomplished nothing except a horrible customer service job and am doing the same thing I have been for years. People tell me I’m smart and talented but they don’t know why I’m still where I am.

I was ok for awhile then I hit a wall a few months ago. Without going into too much deatil, my impatience was getting out of control. I would get overwhelmed by everything and just couldn’t function. I was always looking for an escape, I desperately needed peace from my grinding brain. Even going to Hawaii didn’t help.  I finally had things I wanted to accomplish in life (writing, moving to Hawaii) and I just couldn’t plan it. Details floated around in my head at warp speed and I couldn’t put them in line to plan. Or I overthought the bejesus out of it. Or I decided I should go back to school for web development, or maybe I should pick up japanese again?

I’m reading all these articles on adult ADHD and women with it and I’m crying because I can relate to everything. It makes me mad that I’ve wasted so many years of my life. So I went to my GP, who is actually a NP. I know I’ve got ADHD, I’ve been diagnosed, I have all the symptoms. Sure there may be other things, but that’s another story. Anyway.. After filling out a 10 question multiple choice test, she said I fit the bill, just not the hyperactive part (I do fidget like crazy though). And then she gave me a script for Adderall, 10mg. that was shockingly easy?

I started 2 days ago. 10mg twice a day makes me tired. 20mg in the morning and one 10mg in the afternoon makes me ok. I feel loopy still (maybe because I haven’t eaten enough?) And here’s where all my questions come in.

Is adderall supposed to make me feel like I’m moving in Slo-mo? My heart is pounding a little more, but my mind has slowed way down. I still feel a little stoned though, has anyone experienced this? I did actually get a lot done yesterday which is incredible, my impatience is much better, and I’ve noticed time seems to slow down. Should I just give it time?

Also, should I see a psychiatrist? Or should I just be happy that my doc gives medication so easily? I feel like I would like to talk to someone who knows more, but I’m not sure if it’s really necessary.

How much can medication really do? Adderall makes me slower, but I’m still easily distracted. I realize it’s very early in my treatment, but what I should really be expecting the medication to change?

Ok well, times up at work.. thanks for listening and thanks in advance for any advice

 

 

 

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Welcome Adventroverted!

I had to chuckle at your subject line. All of the questions indeed!

Not having taken Adderall, and not being a doctor, and knowing everyone’s experience is different I can’t get too specific about your medication questions.

but I’m currently in the middle of editing a video on questions about medication. In a couple of the key phrases come to mind. One is, “be in communication with your doctor about how you feel, about what’s changing, about what’s getting better or worse.”

You asked if you should give it time, and that’s not a bad idea unless you’re feeling real distress. It does take some adjusting but to me it sounds like you are getting a positive effect.

Another thing to remember is that there will always be side effects. There is side effects to everything. Aspirin. Coffee. Even exercise has side effects–sports injuries, joint injuries and so on.

As for that feeling that you’ve wasted your life? That is huge. I was 47 when I got diagnosed. You’ll find people on here who are in their 60s, 70s, and even their 80s before they finally figured out what was going on.

If I allow my self to go there I can still feel a wave  of energy–sucking regret about, “What might my life have been if I had known sooner?   What disasters might I have avoided? What might my career have looked like? What about all the relationships that crashed and burned, or simply withered on the vine?”

A that some point I realized I could spend the next 47 years stuck in that state. It wasn’t easy to get there but at some point I realized regret was just another state of paralysis for me and I had to focus  everything I had on getting control of my ADHD, getting it handled to the point where it was not a problem. I don’t think anyone ever gets it totally handle. And hey, even people who don’t have ADHD lose their car keys or misplace their cell phone now and then.

So you don’t want to deny the feelings of regret and anger, but our video, “Now You Tell Me? Surviving The Emotional Tornado of an ADHD Diagnosis” may help you get unstuck and moving forward.  It’s not a one time thing. As I said, I can still go back to that place.

Your other regret, about finding yourself at age 35 without accomplishing the things you want is such a common complaint.  Coach Barbara Luther talks about this being the really debilitating ‘time management’ issue that ADHD folks struggle with.  It’s one thing to miss dentist appointments.  It’s another to miss our achieving your goals in life.

Some ADHD people have very clear goals in life. Many have vague or general goals. What’s missing is any plan to get there.   we want to have a family, a house,  live on a houseboat, become a pilot, move to Hawaii to live.   But we don’t break down the steps of what it would take to actually do that. We don’t set a deadline.

if, for example you said I want to be living in Hawaii in 2 years. Then a good coach would start asking you what it would take to make that half. What would you have to do by the end of this year to be on track to move to Hawaii? That would take planning. Breaking things down into steps. And then asking what would I need to have done but 6 months from now. And to get their, what would I need to do in the next 3 months, and to accomplish that what would I need to do this week? And finally well what’s one thing I could do today? And it might be ghetto the piece of paper and start listing some of the things she would need to do to move to Hawaii. Perhaps the names of people who could support you in keeping you on track or getting specific things done. I don’t know for sure, I’m just talking off the top of my head here. But hopefully you get the idea.

Keep us posted on your progress!

 

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[gianmaria]

Hallo and welcome adventroverted

I had a very similar experience to yours, except I’ve been diagnosed only last year (I’m going for 35)

I’ll spare you the re-telling of my journey 5i’ve written extensively about it maybe you can go check my older posts clicking on my name)

 

I was surprised as well when I was prescribed Concerta right after the diagnosis, which also seemed to be done quite quickly.

Concerta 27mg did not seem to help much, so we increased to a stronger dose, but that made me way to grumpy and jumpy without actually helping me concentrate (and my heart was also pumping harder).

I seem to have found my med in Rilatine 20 modified release.

Actually the difference is light night and day. Which is unnerving to an extent. I did not know meds could have such an effect on our behaviour (which makes me also question the whole notion of free will at times, but I digress…)

Logn story short: it can take some time before you the medication that suits you the best.

On top of that, medications won’t solve your problems (Time management in particular is a b***h. I know)

What I’ve noticed is that Rilatine simply removes an obstacle, albeit a massive one, but it’s then up to me to make something of my new lucid self.

If it can be of any relief, 11 years after my graduation in Fine Arts I’m still stuck with a costumer support job I pretty much hate, with little-next-to-none artistic accomplishments actually reached.

(And I wasn’t certainly reaching for the moon: I just wanted to be a cartoonist or a comic book artist, go figure).

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[adventroverted]

Rick- Thanks so much for your reply and advice, I’ll have to lookup that video.  I’m going to give my medication at least another week until I talk to my doctor about the effects. I’ve noticed a big difference If I just take it with food (which I should have known) that has protein in it, and really be mindful of making sure I take care of myself while I’m on it. Eating properly, exercise, etc.  That’s always something I’ve had to be aware of because of other health issues but I’ve kind of slipped off the boat lately because of my job.  The medication has seriously curbed my craving for anything sweet or caffeinated.  It may not end up being the one I stay on, but it’ a good start.

Gianmaria-I know how you feel about artistic accomplishment.  I never graduated from college, so I applaud that you actually finished it. I’m also an artist but could never stand art classes.  I definitely understand what an uphill battle it is to try to be a successful artist, having adhd is like adding a one ton backpack to that uphill battle. It sucks working in customer service, looking at other artists making it (especially terrible ones!) and wondering “why the hell can’t that be me?” That’s awesome you want to do cartooning or comic book art, I always liked that kind of illustration.

Time management is a huge problem for me, though I’ve noticed so far on adderall, that time has seemed to slow down? It’s as if, all the sudden I have all this time and I don’t know where it came from. Hopefully I can make it work, because time is a huge issue for me.

Adderall may not be “the one” for me, but so far it’s shown me that medication really does work, and the things I may be able to actually do if I keep up with it.

 

 

 

 

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[gianmaria]

Hi,

 

thanks for your remarks.

Seeing other people “making it” doesn’t bother me that much, and frankly those that actually “make it” are those who have the skills (hacks don’t last)

I perfectly know how you feel about time. I experienced the same (although in a less dramatic fashion) at work. Checking completed tasks off the list for 4 hours and then realize I’ve not being googling or surfing every other minute and that it’s only lunch time.

Unfortunately the amount of work is sometimes so huge,  I could be still checking things off the list at 5 o’clock and still not be done.

On the other hand, and what I’m the proudest of, I’ve found myself marking things as DONE in my personal “to-do” list, things that were like there since forever. And I did them bit by bit.

Even if those should be the things I should be more eager to do, it’s very easy for me to procrastinate because of othere “priorities”.

Of course my job is a priority (no one wants to get fired) but I cannot use that as an excuse for everything.

Rick’s advice to break big goals down to single achievable tasks is a good one (a thecnique I was told, was also used by Julius Caesar, who used to take on big problems by “deconstructing” them in to smaller ones to be tackled one by one)

I’m still trying to find a way to better manage the repeated chores like cooking, ironing, loading the washing machine normally.

I’ve noticed that now I can enter some sort of “get-things-done-craze” which makes me a bit intense, while my objective is to finally be able to just go along with it, without either loosing time or becoming impatient.

 

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