Is it Really a problem?

[Just_Nemo]

I know what your thinking but what I mean to say is when people say I have problems my first thought is “Is it REALLY a problem?”

must of the time I think “What is there problem?” it feels like I can’t go to the bathroom in the correct way to them, But I get it done not there way but it is done and just as well as anyone else’s way of doing things sometimes I feel they are just telling me that I’m the problem becaues it is easy to blame to and not themsevls for there own problems.

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[billd]

Uh, yeah, for ME personally, it’s a problem. It’s several problems……….

I’m a risk when I’m driving in heavy or slow traffic. I go REALLY fast, that’s risky, and not legal.

I’m a risk to myself and others when I “forget” safety.

I do things at work that risk my employment.

I say things at times without thinking – could risk employer’s reputation, etc.

I over-eat – that’s a risk to my health.

When you live in a society, there are rules that are needed to support the “good of the many” – like Spock said – the needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few. I understand that. It’s ok with me.

When you work for the gov’t there are ways you REALLY need to do things for many good reasons – I tend to want to bypass those at times. Could bring in legal action, so I must be really careful. I understand that – even if I don’t always like or remember it.

I wasted a LOT of time! I could be SO accomplished at HOME and at WORK………… so I waste money and time in both. That’s a problem for me, my family and my employer.

Otherwise, I get my job done – might be a bit “different” at times, but I get it done, well, quickly, and sometimes, very cleverly.

But is my ADHD really a problem? Yeah. It can be. Not always, but it can be. I still like and respect myself, and know some day, I stand a chance of improving, looking forward to that.

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[Anonymous]

Yes, for me it is a problem. The only good thing about ADHD is that now that I have finally been diagnosed and know a bit about it,

I can lightenup on blaming me for a list of stuff: changing jobs every 4-5 years either cause I was bored, or cause I offended others,

very impetuous in conversation, driving and shopping, my attention wanders .. not great when I am driving, so I risk me and everyone else. In many ways, I am unaware of or ignorant of many of the social conventions .. or I remember them after blowing something by forgetting what to do or say. Have no count on the number of people I have either offended or driven away, much of the past is vague.

My ADHD, do I own it or does it own me… not sure, but which ever, it is a problem for me and for anyone who may be impacted by my having an ADHD moment at the wrong time. I could be really selfish, and say that it is not a problem for me, except when I have to

interact with other humans. But that would be angry, my ADHD is mostly hyper, anxiety and anger .. we are working on it.

At present, I don’t like or respect who I was; I am trying to work towards being what I want to be, but there are days of confusion and days of clarity and it is taking time. Literary quote : I wasted time, now Time wastes me. I can’t imagine how or ADHD could not be a problem, unless someone was so self aware that they knew what they had and knew how to cope with having it so as to minimize damage. I guess that would be some other person. Pretty sure that I would take little pleasure in meeting them at present.

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[billd]

Quote:

My ADHD, do I own it or does it own me..

I’m very used to being owned……… I have cats, after-all.

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[Anonymous]

Sometimes it takes someone else to see that we have a problem. I had trouble hearing the message, from my husband. Other people were telling me it as well, in more subtle ways, as Tea has alluded to. One friend actually told me to “shut the f&ck up” in public, and a family member excommunicated me for something that I impulsively said.

Who wants to be told we are the problem when we think someone else is the problem? But sometimes we ARE the problem.

We all have coping mechanisms and for me, it was thinking I was normal for so long that I couldn’t see otherwise. I’ve seen a different “normal” now, with meds, and I can’t believe how different it is. The impact of that is starting to really hit me.

It wasn’t until I read a book that hit home hard for me, how my problem untreated could affect my marriage and how I was headed for rocky shoals. Once I started looking into it further and finally got a diagnosis, I was asked to stop driving until I was formally diagnosed and put on meds. Believe me, I sat up and paid attention to that – as billd says, and as my ADHD specialist says, untreated, we are a danger on the roads, to ourselves and others.

That’s just one aspect of ignoring the problem.

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[billd]

One actually said she was “concerned about my new work hours” as they “put my right in the middle of the worst of the traffic” in my area.

She has signed off on me getting my hours changed back. My employer is balking, we’ll see.

A doctor has the right to have me taken off the roads – lose my license. Wonder if my employer would like that?

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[Just_Nemo]

Thank you for your post to my “Its just a thought” post at the time I made it I was feeling as if some people use my ADHD as a way to bully me and get away with it.

As if I’m a big stupid rug to walk all over.

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