Is this normal for Ritalin?

[bluejedi]

36 year old female adhd here.

Want to know if anyone else has experienced this with Ritalin. Oh you bastard you. I can’t handle it…at all.

I am sorry for the wall of text. Please bear with me. I’ll try to explain me and Ritalin as clearly as I can. I want to know if I’m alone with these effects or if happens to someone else/other people.

It does work…it does make my brain silent, and I can focus better on it. But…at a high price.

It makes me forget to eat-yep. On it, I can go 4 or 5 days and not eat anything. Well, maybe gum and water.

It shuts the noise off in my brain-it makes it so quite up in there I nearly go nuts. My brain is like a noisy street fair, a wild collection of sight, Nosie, sound and smells and color. Ritalin makes it go completely quite, dead silence. And the dead silence makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. Not one peep of noises from inside my head. Not even a hint of a beep or rattle.

The drug feels like someone or something stole that little spark that makes me…me. Its just…gone. On it, I feel like I’m just going through the motions of life, I’m here…but not really. I feel like a zombie. My focus is 100%. I turn in my school work on time. I complete my assignments at work on time. Both well done, high praise, perfect. My family says they see a huge difference, they like me on it. They like being around me better on it.

Coworkers, family members, classmates, people I know from church all say I’m not as spazzy, my tolerance for every day stress and frustrations are much higher. I don’t snap, bite someone’s head off or come close to tears when I get flustered or feeling slightly stressed. I don’t get as angry as fast.

The panic attacks…oh the panic attacks this drug brings me. I already suffer from panic attacks, excessive worry/anxiety. Off Ritalin, I am getting better at remembering to breath, calm down and think things through when I feel something like that coming on. 20-30 minutes after I take a dose of Ritalin….I’m in a full on OMG THE WORLD IS GOING TO END hyper ventilating into to a paper bag this lady is going nuts, chest heavy, bouncing around, can’t calm down, fidgety, scared out of my mind something bad is going to happen to me or a loved one ANY SECOND NOW, heart is racing. And if leave my house/the room where I took the medication in OMG SOMTHING REALLY REALLY BAD IS FOR SURE GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME. LIKE NOW.

This feeling lasts about 20 minutes before I calm down enough to be reasoned with….then what I call the zombie effect starts to kick in. Like the spark that makes me, me has been stolen never to bee seen again and 10 minutes later (40-45 minutes after the dose) my mind has gone completely silent. 5-6 hours later the drug starts to wear off.

I’m now on Adderall, 10 mg in the morning and 10 mg at night.

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

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